Unforgettable
by Seigi-san
Summary: What if Archangel found Mwu in Berlin, but his memories were still intact? I was just interested to see how the rest of Destiny would have gone.. MXM, semi AU kind of ish, rated T for likely smuts. Remember, every day is repost day XD
1. Chapter 1

"Ugggghhhh..."

He blinked slowly, staring up at the sky. It was leaden and overcast, thick snowflakes still falling gently. Reaching up he rubbed gingerly at his head, wincing at the pain that caused - he'd obviously hit it when he fell. Everything seemed to be working however, and though he felt fairly sore when he pushed himself into a sitting position, there were no other obvious injuries. Bracing himself on one arm he glanced around him. Rubble, fire, his helmet lying a little way away... he smiled ruefully. _The dumb thing probably saved my life. Only time I've ever been glad of it. _Wobbling slightly he got to his feet, closing his eyes against a sudden wave of nausea and pain. The biting cold wind swirled around him carrying more snow - staying out here like this he risked hypothermia. But where did he go? Behind him were the remains of his mobile suit stuck in half of a building, which hopefully meant his keepers thought he was dead. He was free. For the first time in over two years, he was free. Feeling rather giddy he grinned, taking one last look at the ruined suit before beginning to walk away.

Then he stopped.

Up ahead, barely visible through the smoke and dust of fallen buildings, was a figure. They were clearly looking for something - or for some_one_, combing through rubble and snow. Were they looking for _him_? Was his leash so short they'd even come to recover his body? Running a hand through his hair he glanced around in panic, wondering what the hell to do. If he moved to hide somewhere they'd likely spot him....all he could do was try to shoot his way out, which he was reluctant to do. Besides being a fairly bad shot he had no idea whether they were one of his observers or just a regular crewmember. _I have too much blood on my hands already. Go in the other direction. Don't make me do this... _

But they kept coming, close enough to where he stood for him to be able to tell that the figure was female, and also not alone. There were two others with her, probably male and definitely armed, and his heart sank. _Alright then. Going out fighting it is. _Drawing his sidearm he readied it, waiting for them to come closer...though it would be a race to see which got him first, his unknown foe or his headache. It was pounding, causing waves of dizziness that affected his balance and grip on the gun - suddenly all he wanted to do was sleep. Shaking his head he took a deep breath, raising the weapon and pointing it at the approaching figure. They were still checking everywhere, wind tugging at uniform and long hair....only a little closer and they'd spot him.

The wind picked up, blowing aside the smoke for a moment and she glanced up, noticing him instantly and raising her own gun. Her uniform was purple and white - Orb military, not Alliance. _What would they have to look for out here? _Frowning, he squinted through the dust and blurred vision to try and see her face. She took a step closer, reaching up to tuck a lock of dark hair behind one ear.....and he stared in disbelief, as did she. Gun dropping from suddenly numb fingers he looked away for a moment, taking a step backward - his mind was playing tricks on him. It had to be. He couldn't even see straight, the headache so bad now it was making his ears ring.....that had to be it. How else would he just happen to see the person he wanted to most? Running a hand through long blonde hair he stumbled slightly on the uneven ground, only to look up when he felt a hand on his arm.

"I.."

She was smiling. The gentle expression brought back so many memories that for a moment he was struck dumb by them, unable to speak or do anything but stare. Glancing down at the small hand still on his arm he placed his free hand over the top, smiling himself just a little when she curled her fingers around his tightly. She hiccupped, using her other hand to scrub at her nose the way she always had when she was trying not to cry, though it seemed that even her formidable self-control wasn't enough to hold it back. Understanding what she needed - what they both needed - he simply reached out and pulled her close. She hiccupped again, thin shoulders shaking as she let herself cry and he smiled, resting his cheek against her hair to breathe in the mixed scents of lavender and roses. _If this is a dream, it's the best one I ever had._

It felt like she was dreaming. Ever since seeing him there on the monitor it felt like reality had shifted, sounds muffled and details magnified. He couldn't possibly have been real. But she'd come out here anyway, wandering through debris and the rubble of buildings searching for something she wasn't even sure she'd find. The biting cold wind had swirled around her, blowing up embers, smoke and brick dust until she'd barely been able to see, and she'd wondered more than once why she'd bothered.

And then she'd seen him.

He'd been picking his way through the destruction much like she had, gun in hand. He looked so different to the man she had known that for a moment she hadn't recognised him. Black uniform, hair much longer than before, livid scar winding across his nose... _I was sure it couldn't have been him. That if I hesitated he'd shoot me. But then I saw his eyes. _His eyes. She'd always been able to read every emotion in them, happiness, sadness, mischief, anger...and right then it had been surprise, disbelief mixed with doubt. _He didn't think I was real... _They'd both felt the same way at the same time - they'd known what they'd seen but didn't believe it. _I knew right then that it was him. I had no idea how he could have survived, or how he could be here...all I know is that he __**is**__ here._

"Mwu..."

He chuckled softly. "M'dreaming.."

"No, no you're not dreaming. I don't want it to be a dream."

He pulled away slightly to regard her with an almost sleepy smile, eyelids fluttering. "Me either.." Then he collapsed. Startled she moved to catch him, his weight causing her knees to give way. He was cold, colder than he should be even given the weather, and was sweating profusely. Brushing hair and snow away from his face she glanced up at the two guards that had accompanied her, both of whom had watched with a mixture of confusion and surprise.

"Is he a friend, ma'am?"

She smiled. "Yes. A very good friend. Can you help me get him back to the ship?"

Though clearly bewildered they nodded, lifting the unconscious man between them and carrying him toward the waiting _Archangel_. She accompanied them silently, taking last glances at the flaming landscape. _To find him in a place like this when I'd convinced myself I'd never even see him again - it's no wonder he thought he was dreaming. I think I might be too still..._

* * *

"Mwu-san.."

Though Kira-kun had been the one to call the ship and let them know he still looked surprised, violet eyes wide. Murdoch, who had made his way to sickbay as soon as the gossip about his friend being back had reached him, looked similarly stunned. He turned to Kira-kun, brows knitted.

"So that really is him? The Commander?"

The boy nodded. "No doubt about it."

Murrue smiled a little, returning her attention to the sleeping man. The doctor had been able to confirm with a simple blood test that he indeed was who everyone knew him to be, and also confirm he was suffering from a mild concussion probably caused by the destruction of his mobile suit. There was an IV in his arm but that was more for fluids than anything else - once he woke up he should be fine. _I'm not dreaming. You really are here, and you're all right. But boy, do you have some explaining to do..._

"Murrue-san?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, reaching out to brush fingertips against long blonde hair. Yes, she was alright. More than alright.

"We'll be outside if you need us, okay?" With that they filed from sickbay, leaving them alone. She continued to watch him, trying to come to terms with everything that had happened. There had been almost nothing of Strike left - she still saw the wreckage in nightmares - so how could he have survived? And why hadn't she checked? _I could have found him. I could have brought him home and cared for him. But instead.._

"I should have gone back for you. I shouldn't have left you.."

"You weren't to know.." He gazed up at her sleepily, lips curving in a gentle smile. "Keep telling you not to blame yourself for stuff.."

"Yes, you did." Murrue nodded and glanced down at her lap, only looking back at him when he took her hand.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly. "Promised you I'd be back and instead I do something dumb."

"Dumb, but brave," she replied, stroking his fingers. "Now who's blaming themselves?"

He did smile at that, rather sheepishly. "I've gotten used to it."

"What could you have to blame yourself for?"

The smile faded. "Too much." He glanced around himself, up at the ceiling and the IV in his arm. "You brought me back.."

"Did you expect us to leave you out there?"

"No," he admitted, still in that same oddly quiet tone. "I knew you wouldn't." He took a deep breath and smiled again. "Thank you." But that smile didn't reach his eyes and he knew she'd noticed, his gaze flicking to the side to avoid hers.

"Mwu?"

"It's nothing. I'm okay."

"No, you're not. Talk to me."

"I'm fine!" The anger in his voice surprised her, as did his scowl - Mwu almost never got angry, especially not with her. "Leave me alone!"

"All right." She wasn't about to let him know that had hurt her. Instead she let go of his hand, got to her feet and left the room, not letting the tears come until she was back in her own.

He stared at the ceiling for what felt like forever, the conversation he'd had with her echoing in his mind. When he'd first seen her there in the snow he'd been overjoyed, the feeling of seeing and holding her again overriding everything else. But eventually, like always, the guilt came back, intensity doubled at the knowledge that she and the others had no idea what he'd done. What kind of person he'd become. He wasn't the man he'd been before Jachin Due - he could never be that man again. _And she's the last one I can ever tell about it....because __**she**__ hasn't changed a bit. _He'd been able to tell as soon as he'd seen her. The way she smiled, the tears. She still cared about him. And as happy as he was to learn that, it increased the weight of the guilt. _I never deserved her. Not before, and certainly not now._

"Mwu-san?"

He rolled his eyes. "What?"

"Why did you make Murrue-san cry?"

More guilt. Great. Just what he needed. "Why do you think?"

"Because you have something to hide. Something you don't want her to know."

"What, did you become psychic in the last two years?"

The kid sighed. "So I'm right?"

"Full marks."

"You know that Murrue-san won't care."

Mwu smiled despite himself. "I know she won't. But _I_ will. She deserves better."

"I doubt she'd agree with that." Kira moved closer and sat on the chair beside the bed. "She's waited all this time for you, and she'd have kept waiting whatever happened. Whatever you did with the Alliance, whatever they made you do, she'd forgive you for."

"What if I can't forgive _myself_?"

"I think you should let her help you. Don't shut her out just because you're scared."

_Scared? _He bridled at that, ready to snap at the kid - then thought about it. Scared. He _was_ scared. Scared that talking about it would make what he'd done more real, scared that no-one would ever understand or forgive him for it....scared of actually being the person they'd tried to turn him into. "What do I do?" Part of him thought he should really be laughing at taking advice from a kid over ten years younger than him - but something about Kira was different now. _The war changed him, like it changes everyone. But it doesn't seem to be for the worst._

"Talk to her."

* * *

_Jerk. Ungrateful, selfish jerk. _Sitting at her desk she signed her name to documents with an angry flourish, taking out her anger and confusion out on the pen and paper. She'd cried, the sound muffled by a pillow so no-one else would hear, and resented him for it - she'd promised herself to never cry because of him again. Had she asked too many questions? Was he really the man she'd known? _Too much unsaid. He's changed, I've changed....maybe too much. I love him still, more than ever, but it seems like we've become strangers in the last two years. Maybe this is something that can't be gotten over..._

_**And what? **_her subconscious annoyingly piped up. _**You're just going to let it happen?**_

_What else can I do?_

_**You wouldn't surrender if ZAFT or the Alliance told you to, so why are you doing it now?**_

"Dammit.." Leaning forward she rested her head on her arms, cursing him under her breath.

"Now that sounds pretty mean. And painful."

Startled she glanced up and around, seeing him standing there with that sheepish smile he always wore when he had some serious apologising to do. "How did you.."

"I still remember the code," he pointed out. She nodded, getting up to walk over to him and he held up his hands. "Now before you give me the ass-kicking I deserve, let me do something I should have done when I first woke up."

"Explain yourself?" she asked rather acidly.

"Before that." He stepped forward, and before she had chance to react pulled her close and kissed her. And she was lost, anger dissipating like always. When they broke for air he smiled gently, kissing away the tears she hadn't even noticed had been falling. "That's what I should have done."

Too breathless to answer properly she nodded.

"Now you can kick my ass."

Murrue blinked, taken aback, then laughed. She laughed and cried at the same time, leaning against his chest for support. _Maybe we haven't changed too much after all... _"I should, shouldn't I? For leaving me alone or for being a complete jerk?"

"Either. Or both."

"But you made me stop being angry."

"Oh. That's true. So now what?"

She sighed, running a hand through auburn hair. Then stood on her tiptoes and kissed him again. Mwu's eyes widened in surprise for a second before slowly closing, he winding arms around her waist to pull her closer and laughing into the exchange when she unzipped his jacket. "I don't remember saying I came here for that," he remarked in a muffled voice. "Ass-kicking, remember?"

"That uniform doesn't suit you. But if you'd _prefer_ an ass-kicking..."

"No, I don't think I'd _prefer_ one. But I wanted to talk to you first. And apologise."

"You don't.."

"I do." He kissed her forehead. "For a lot of things. C'mon." Taking her hand he led her over to the bed, sitting down on the edge and staring at his knees. "I'm sorry about earlier. For snapping like that. I had a lot of stuff to think about, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"I shouldn't have asked."

He smiled, reaching out to take her hand. "You should have. We never had secrets from each other before, and I shouldn't be keeping them now. I was just scared."

"You, scared? Imagine."

"Really." He took a deep breath. "I was with the Alliance - they found me out there and patched me up - and, well....I did stuff I wish I hadn't. They gave me a ship and a crew but used them against me - if I'd put a foot wrong or disobeyed orders the crew would have been punished for it." He shrugged. "It doesn't sound like much of an excuse and maybe it isn't one, but it's all I have."

"What did they make you do?"

He told her. His voice was quiet, scarcely audible at times, but he kept talking, hand holding hers so tightly it almost squeezed the circulation from her fingers but she never complained, knowing he needed to tell someone. _They used his kindness against him. He couldn't disobey orders knowing they'd suffer for it... _When he finally fell silent he looked up at her hesitantly, eyes slightly red-rimmed and she smiled, blinking back tears.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have told you."

"Of course you should have. I'd have been mad if you _hadn't_ told me."

He managed a smile at that. "Probably you would have. So what happens now?"

"Now you've got all that off your chest. You know no-one here will blame you for anything. I certainly don't."

"I knew that you wouldn't. S'why I wasn't going to tell you."

"Idiot."

He chuckled quietly. "I was expecting that."

Moving closer she rested her head on his shoulder. "Missed you."

"I missed you too. Sorry I broke my promise."

"You didn't break it. You're here, aren't you? You just took a while keeping it."

Mwu seemed rather taken aback at that - more so than he had been when she'd forgiven him for his actions with the Alliance. "I didn't think of it like that.."

"I didn't either at first. But I understood why you'd done what you had, and it seems very ungrateful of me to be angry at someone for saving my life.."

He smiled, genuinely this time. "You're amazing."

"Aren't I? Now, are you going to stay here? They let you out of sickbay?"

He held out his arm to show her the cottonwool ball taped to the vein the IV had been in. "Free."

"Good."

_Everything's going to be okay. You're here, you're all right, and we have a chance to start over. It might not be easy, but we'll make it work._

_**I'll **__make it work._

* * *

( Hopefully better. Brought to you by tea and a wave of melodrama from Mills & Boon books.

please read and review! )


	2. Chapter 2

He wasn't there when she woke up. Confused she sat up, noting that her jacket and shoes had been removed, the items of clothing placed neatly on a chair, and that the blankets had been tucked neatly around her. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she glanced around the tiny room...and sighed. He was there, wedged uncomfortably on the too-small sofa with arms and legs draped over the sides and his hair all in his face. He was asleep, though it didn't look like he'd had a restful night, his face pinched with discomfort. Climbing from the bed she walked over to kneel beside him, brushing the hair away gently but being careful not to wake him. She'd asked him to stay, had curled up beside him to enjoy his company for the first time in over two years, and had drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face. But Mwu..

"What am I supposed to do with you?"

If he knew, he wasn't telling. Shaking her head she leant on the sofa, feeling his breath tickle her hair. He'd told her of his actions with the Alliance and expected anger - he'd admitted with a small smile that he didn't expect people to look at or treat him the way they had before, and he wasn't sure that he wanted them to. _"To the people on this ship, to the people in Orb, I'd be a monster. A war criminal. To say 'I was just following orders' is just an excuse..."_

_But there's a difference, _she told him silently, placing a hand over his. _You didn't __**want**__ to follow those orders, but you had no choice. You were trying to protect your crew. _He hadn't been able to see that difference however, the weight of his guilt increasing with each order he'd been given.

_"But I still did those things. They used that crew to try and turn me into one of them."_

"You're not one of them. And you never will be." That had most likely been their intention, to break his spirit and reform him into the soldier they wanted, someone who would have followed their orders without question. But they hadn't been able to. He was still her Mwu, and she was determined to help him see that. "Though you're not making it easy.."

He smiled faintly, blue eyes opening a fraction. "When have I ever made anything easy?"

"That's a good point."

"It was you."

"What was me?"

"The reason I'm still me." He brushed a hand over her hair affectionately. "I always hoped I'd be able to see you again one day somehow, and that kept me going."

To her own annoyance Murrue blushed, hiding her embarrassment behind a veil of auburn hair. "Y-you never mentioned that before.."

"It's true though." Sitting up he patted the sofa beside him, small smile growing when she climbed up to join him. "It was all I had. There were spies all over my ship - I knew they were there even if I didn't know who exactly - I was always being watched, and never more so when we were near Orb or when I saw _Archangel_. But I still hoped I'd find you."

"And now you have."

"Yeah. Now I have. But what do I do now?"

She smiled and pecked a kiss to his cheek, surprised when he flushed a faint pink. "I've room for a second-in-command if you're interested.."

"I don't..."

"Why not? You'll be better at it than me now. I'm out of practice."

"Wrong kind of practice."

"Nuh-uh. Doesn't matter what you did. It's still command experience. Please?"

He sighed, running a hand through long blonde hair. "It's not like I can refuse you anything. I never could."

"It'll help you settle back in." Delighted she took his arm and snuggled close...only to frown when he hesitated. "What is it?"

"Nothing." She raised an eyebrow and he sighed, leaning back against the sofa. "I just...I thought all that time about being able to see you again, but now that I have I'm not sure what I should do."

"What do you _want_ to do?" It hurt a bit but was understandable - he'd been alone all that time and probably wasn't used to even being friendly with people. "That's why you were on the sofa.."

Mwu nodded. "I don't know if I've changed too much. _You_ haven't. The kid said you waited for me."

"It was the same for me as it was for you. I always hoped I'd see you again."

He chuckled softly. "I don't know why I figured you wouldn't wait. Should've known better."

"You thought I wouldn't wait for you?"

"Well, we weren't together for all that long. I thought for sure that you'd find someone else."

She rolled her eyes. "If you thought that, then why did you kiss me?"

"Two reasons. One, to see if the kid was right, and two....it was all I'd wanted to do since I saw you."

"Me too." Deciding to see whether distance was what he really wanted she reached up to brush a fingertip over the scar on his nose. He smiled faintly, eyes closing at the touch and she giggled, hugging him close. He hesitated again for a moment, glancing up at her as though to make sure it was really okay, then returned the embrace with a deep sigh, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe. _You needed this as much as I did, perhaps more. You've been alone for so long.. _Wanting to kiss him but not knowing how he'd react she instead held him, resting her cheek against his hair.

"M'sorry.."

"For what?"

She felt him smile. "Being a jerk."

"You already apologised for that, and you never needed to in the first place."

"Thanks." He looked up at her again, expression still slightly uncertain, then nodded and lifted her to sit on his lap before closing his eyes with another sigh...this one of contentment. Murrue smiled and stroked his hair. He'd be all right. Maybe not right away - things were bound to be strange for him at first - but with time and friendship he'd become himself again. _Once he realises he isn't alone anymore... _And they could start right away.

"Mwu?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

He didn't reply, not with words anyway. His gratitude was evident in the way he held her, in the smile that finally reached his eyes, and that was all she needed.

He could still remember the first time she'd told him that. She'd been adorably shy about it, hiding her face in his jacket before standing on her tiptoes and whispering the words into his ear. He'd been taken aback at first - no-one had told him that since he'd been very small, and it had taken him a while before he'd believed her. _But later on that became the only thing I did believe. Everything was turned upside down....but she was always there. She helped me get through that, and she'll help me get through this. _He couldn't find the words to thank her, but he knew she understood. She always did. _But still... _ Bringing her closer he kissed her gently, trying to convey everything he felt, everything he wanted to say but couldn't find the words for. She smiled into the kiss and returned it equally gently, thin fingers winding in his hair.

"This isn't so bad, is it?" she murmured when they broke, brushing lips against his forehead.

"No, it's not bad at all." _Far from it._

"Welcome home."

_Welcome home. _He was home. The realisation made him slightly giddy and he laughed for the first time in what felt like forever. "Yeah," he said softly, reaching up to brush the back of a hand against her cheek. "I'm home."

Murrue beamed. "It's going to be alright. However long it takes, we'll get through it, okay?"

He liked the 'we'. "Where do we start?"

She tapped her chin then nodded, tugging at the collar of his Alliance issue T-shirt. "We find you a better uniform. Black doesn't suit you at all."

"You should have seen the helmet they made me wear."

"Whatever for?"

He shrugged. "Probably so no-one would recognise me. That and I think it intimidated people."

She huffed, nose crinkling the way it always did when she was cross. "I'm glad you didn't have that on when I found you." Leaning forward she kissed the scar over his nose. "Think it was to hide the scar?"

"That too. I had gloves on and everything. I looked like Klueze.." He'd hated that more than anything - the fact that he'd looked like _him. _"Looked like him, acted li-" He got no further than that before Murrue placed a finger over his lips, shaking her head with a kind smile.

"You're not like him. To me and everyone else who knows you, you're the same person you were two years ago. You've just been through a lot."

He sighed but smiled. "You're not going to let me blame myself for anything, are you?"

"No."

"Okay then," he mused, "so I get a new uniform. One like yours?" At her nod he smiled. "What else?"

"Haircut."

He peeked upward at the mop of blonde. Sure, it was pretty long by now but he'd gotten used to it - his hair had always grown fast. "Really?"

"Either that or I braid it for you." She wisped a lock of his hair between her fingers, chewing her bottom lip as she thought about what to do. "We don't have to cut it really short if you don't want to. Maybe to your shoulders."

"That doesn't sound too bad. Alright then." He held up his hands with a smile. "I'm all yours."

Murrue grinned and clambered off his lap. "Wait here then." Donning her jacket and shoes she slipped out of the door, it hissing closed behind her and leaving him in semi-darkness with only the memory of her scent. Shaking his head with a quiet chuckle he glanced around the tiny cabin. It had changed very little in the last two years....clean uniform carefully folded on a chair, nightstand holding a few personal items, including, to his delight, the photograph of the two of them he'd taken two years ago. _She really did miss me... _

He'd missed her like hell. Whatever he'd had to do, however depressed he'd gotten, he'd always been able to get through it by thinking about her. He hadn't expected her to wait for him or even miss him - the fact that she'd done both was a little overwhelming. _She could have anyone she wanted, but instead she waited for me. She might never have seen me again, but she still waited. I don't think I'll ever come close to deserving her, but... _But he wasn't about to let her go. Getting to his feet Mwu wandered around, peeking in cupboards and on shelves. With anyone else it would have been a breach of privacy, but he felt sure she wouldn't mind. Books there were plenty of - she'd always loved to read - and piles of paperwork, and... He grinned, picking up the white officers' cap. She'd given him this, along with a stack of new uniforms after he'd left his old behind in the duffle bag at Alaska, but he'd never really worn it....except when he was playing at being captain. He'd never pulled rank on her unless she'd overworked herself, but occasionally he'd decided to be the one in charge, which had always been fun. _Definite misuse of authority, but not the sort you'd ever hear come up at a court-martial. I should have done it more often.._

"Back."

Lost in old memories he didn't hear her at first, glancing up in surprise when she patted his arm. She gestured to the armful of material she carried, her smile becoming tender when she noticed what he held. "I had to keep it." she admitted. "It was odd that it reminded me of you, but I had so little else. Clothes, a photograph, memories...I wanted to hold onto everything I could."

"Interesting memories, though," he mused, poking the Alliance insignia. "Considering the only times I wore it.."

Murrue pinked. "Yes well....they _were_ good memories.."

"That they were." Those were the ones he'd held onto the tightest - of the Murrue only he had seen. Not the captain, but everything she was underneath. Funny, mischievous, selfless....and stubborn, grumpy and a workaholic. Everything that made up the person she was - the person he loved more than anyone. Ducking down he kissed her gently, tangling a hand in long dark hair. "Thank you."

"F-for what?"

"Sticking with me."

She beamed. "You don't need to thank me for that. Here, c'mon.." Taking his hand she led him to her little desk and motioned to him to sit down, tugging a pair of scissors from a drawer. He peeked up at her through the messy fringe with a rueful grin. _I guess it makes sense. So I can be me again. Not the Alliance soldier or even an Orb soldier, but the me she knew before. _Murrue nodded as though she'd heard him, taking the ends of his hair between her fingers to measure it's length before carefully beginning to cut it. He watched the locks of blonde fall to the ground, trying not to wince. Only hair, but he'd gotten used to it.

"You should have said," she scolded. "If you didn't want it cutting you should have told me."

"But.."

"But nothing. It's _your_ hair."

"It'll be fine." Only hair. And he could get used to it like this too. Besides, Murrue was cutting it for him. Settling back in the chair he let her work, closing his eyes with a smile at the feel of her fingers brushing the back of his neck, at the sound of her laughter. So relaxed was he he barely noticed when she'd finished until she tapped his shoulder. "Hmm?"

"All done."

"Already?"

"Sorry.." Her lips quirking with a smile she leaned down to brush the shorn hair from his shoulders. "Go take a shower, and I'll sort your clothes out.."

He glanced at the folded material on the desk, the purple and white Orb military uniform, and smiled himself. "Okay."

* * *

He'd left the door unlocked. The sounds of running water and his tuneless whistling (that much at least hadn't changed) echoed through the cabin, causing a smile. At times like this it felt as though he'd never been away. She'd already swept up the three-inch locks of hair and folded his discarded Alliance uniform - tidying up after him was something else that brought back memories. "How's the water?"

The water stopped and he poked his head out of the bathroom, shorter blonde hair drenched and almost covering his eyes. "What?"

She giggled, shaking her head. "Never mind."

"No, c'mon, I want to know what you said."

"I said," Moving closer she brushed the wet hair from his face, "how's the water?"

He smiled, the expression as sunny as she remembered. "It's great. Tell you what. Why don't you join me?" Before she could say anything he caught her hand and pulled her into the bathroom.

"Mwu!"

"What? It's okay. We used to do this all the time, didn't we? Saving water and stuff.."

She ran a hand through her hair, refusing to look at him. "Yes, but.."

"Wash my back then?"

Murrue smiled despite herself. "Alright, I can do that." He really was behaving more like himself now, as though knowing he was home and loved had been enough to thaw the ice around his heart....just as she'd hoped it would. Crossing to the shower stall she slid back the glass - and gasped.

"Murrue?"

"I...I had no idea that...that.." The scars on his back were large and livid, the skin raised when she ran a finger over it. He hissed softly and she drew back quickly. "Sorry, sorry.."

"Don't be." He laughed a little, shaking his head. "It doesn't hurt anymore. You just...surprised me."

"I had no idea they were so bad. I mean, I should have guessed they were, but....I'm sorry."

"For what?" When she didn't answer he peeked back over his shoulder, frowning slightly. "Murrue, you aren't blaming yourself for that, are you?"

"Shouldn't I?" She shrugged.

"Of course not. I knew what I was doing. And I'd do it again."

"I know you would.." Leaning close she kissed the scars gently. "But I'm sorry anyway. Now pass the soap."

Mwu chuckled. "At least take your jacket off. You'll get soaked."

"Just my jacket?"

"It'll be a good start."

She did wash his back, soapy hands carefully tracing the scars, which oddly he seemed to enjoy given his smile. "No-one ever touched them like that before," he admitted. "It feels really nice."

"Does it?" She brushed a fingertip over the largest of the scars and laughed when he shivered. "I see..."

"Okay, turn round. It's your turn now." Taking her hand he spun her around to face the wall, hands working to tug off the soaked red undershirt to expose the silky camisole top beneath. Eyes closed, Murrue smiled at his whistle of appreciation.

"It's no different from what I wore before.."

"I know, but I haven't seen it in a long time." Leaning close he kissed the back of her neck before sliding hands underneath the top, chuckling into her hair when she squirmed. "How'm I supposed to wash your back when you're wiggling like that?"

"You're not even _touching_ my back," she pointed out rather breathlessly, having to brace herself against the wall to keep her balance.

"True. Did you want me to stop?"

"No.."

"Good, 'cause I don't plan to." He turned her around slowly and looked her up and down, the expression in his eyes making her knees feel weak. He continued the attention, hands skimming underneath the camisole until she finally reached up to pull it off and toss it aside. He grinned and ducked down to kiss her, leaning her backwards against the wall for support, and when she felt him tug at her skirt she just smiled. Hadn't she been expecting this? He loved her, knew she loved him...what better way to prove it without words?

_Now he really is home..._

* * *

( Angst. And smuts. Today's story brought to you by the letter 'S'. And Kinder chocolate.

please read and review! )


	3. Chapter 3

He felt different. Lighter, somehow...more like the person he'd been. Whether that was due to the shower earlier, his confession, or even the haircut he wasn't sure, but it felt pretty good. _Because I'm not alone. Whatever I did, however long I was away, she'd be there for me.._ He stroked the drowsy woman's hair, grinning when she murmured something he couldn't make out. But he didn't intend to ever leave her again...from now on, wherever she went he'd be beside her. He owed her more than he'd ever be able to repay - all he could do was give her the life she deserved. Second chances shouldn't be wasted.

"We should get up.."

"Why?"

She crinkled her nose. "Cause I was s'posed to go on shift an hour ago.."

"I bet you no-one minds."

"_I_ mind.." But she didn't seem in a hurry to go anywhere, instead snuggling back against his chest and closing her eyes. "People will talk.."

He chuckled. "And say what? Everyone knew before that we were together."

"Still.."

"If you want to get up, then get up. I'm not stopping you."

"Nn."

"What? I don't have anywhere to go, so I'm not getting up. If you want to, then go ahead."

Murrue huffed, tugging the covers over her head. "Jerk."

"I love you too."

She peeked up at him at those words, a gentle smile tugging at her lips. "That's the first time you've told me that since you came back. Not that I thought you didn't, but it's nice to hear it." Placing her hands on his shoulders she shuffled up to kiss him lightly. "Thank you."

He grinned. "Any time." Things like that had become easier to say, somehow. It wouldn't be so easy around those who'd been his friends, but Murrue... _She never blamed me, or even let me blame myself. She accepted everything I am and became without even hesitating. She's amazing. _Running a hand through her hair he brought her closer for another kiss, smiling into the exchange when he felt fingertips tracing the scars on his chest. He'd let her see everything, despite an odd nervousness, and she'd seemed to appreciate it, though the little frown she wore sometimes made him wonder if she didn't still blame herself for her injuries.

"Murrue?"

"Mmm?"

"You don't mind the scars, do you?"

She smiled, ducking down to kiss the one on his shoulder. "I like them. They're part of who you are....how could I mind them?"

"Even though I got them being dumb?"

"You got them by being brave, not dumb." Settling close she rested her head in the crook of his neck. "There's a difference."

"If you say so."

"You don't think there is?"

"No, I'm fairly sure there is, but I think what I did was dumb. Selfish, really."

Murrue frowned. "Why selfish?"

"Because it was all for my benefit. I did it because I couldn't face the idea of carrying on without you."

For a moment she didn't answer, then he felt a light thump to his chest. "Idiot."

"I know. Sorry. I hadn't realised how selfish feelings like that make you."

She propped herself up on an elbow and poked him in the nose. "And that's how you know they're real."

"I hadn't thought of it that way.."

"Good job I'm around to put things in perspective." Leaning close she kissed him before climbing from the bed and searching for clean clothes. "C'mon now, you'd better get dressed."

"Why?"

"Well, you can't go out there like that, can you? I have something to show you."

Grudgingly he climbed out of bed and trudged over to where she'd left his new uniform, stopping halfway to appreciate the view as she bent down.

"Eyes to yourself."

He grinned. "You're mean."

"You'll get over it."

"Probably." Amused, he made his way to the neat pile and shook out the jacket, noting with a smile that it was just his size, the undershirt purple - typical thoroughness from Murrue. The uniform itself was the same bluish-purple and white as hers, much brighter and smarter than the black Alliance one he'd worn, which was now tossed carelessly over a chair.

"Do you like it better than the other?"

"Yeah. Never understood why I had to wear black anyway." He picked up the old jacket and gazed at it a while. "I guess it was part of making me someone else." Murrue nodded slowly then smiled, taking the garment from him and slipping it on over her red undershirt, bringing the too-large collar close to breathe in what he supposed was his scent (he had no idea what that smelled like, but since he loved the way _she_ smelled he supposed it must be all right). He'd hated it, viewing it as a symbol of everything they'd tried to make him, but somehow her wearing it made it seem benign, just a jacket again, and he appreciated that. Ruffling her hair fondly he got dressed, rolling up the sleeves of the jacket and unzipping the collar just as he always had. "I feel like me again."

"You _look_ more like yourself," she admitted, removing the black jacket and placing on a hangar in her closet. Why she wanted to keep it was beyond him, but then again he'd never entirely understood how her mind worked. _She can always keep me guessing.. _

"Where are we going, anyway?"

She smiled. "The hangar bay."

* * *

He'd changed. Not totally, and not so you couldn't see the melancholy he still carried, but he seemed much more like the Mwu she'd known. He looked happier, more at ease with himself, which was exactly what she'd hoped for. _He needed to be forgiven, needed to know he was still loved, which of course he is. He never needed to worry. _Reaching down she took his hand and squeezed gently, smiling as he peeked up at her through the mop of messy hair. Things might not ever be quite the way they used to be, but this was a good start.

"You don't have to worry."

"Who's worried?"

She raised an eyebrow and he sighed, shaking his head. "Sometimes I wish you didn't know me so well."

"It's going to be fine. You're amongst friends."

"That'll whisper to each other about me when I walk past?"

Murrue leaned close to kiss his cheek. "Those who do aren't real friends. Do you think Kira-kun, Murdoch-san and I would ever do anything like that?"

"No." he admitted softly. "No, I know you wouldn't. It's hard to persuade myself that I don't deserve it though.."

"Mwu.."

"M'sorry. You don't need to hear this."

She moved to face him, winding arms around him in a hug he gratefully returned. "Don't you ever think that. If you're worried, then tell me. If you need to talk, then I'll listen. Haven't I always?"

"You have." He smiled, genuinely, and hugged her so tight she could hardly breathe, but she didn't pull away. "Thank you."

She just smiled, closing her eyes and enjoying the embrace. This was all the thanks she needed. When he eventually let her go she shook her head fondly, reaching up to tweak his nose. "Come on, let's get going."

The hangar bay was quiet this late in the morning, just a few technicians working on suits and Murdoch discussing something she couldn't quite hear with Kira-kun and Amagi-san. Mwu smiled a little to see his friends, glancing up at her as though to ask permission.

"There's something I want to show you first." Taking his hand she led him over to the far corner of the cavernous room, gesturing to the little fleet parked there. "Take a look at those and tell me what you think."

Still looking back at the others he took a cursory peek at the waiting machines - then stared, blue eyes wide. Hiding a smile she kept quiet, waiting for him to say something. And she wasn't disappointed.

"What are they?"

"Do you like them?"

He nodded, grinning brightly, and fairly ran over to the machines to look them over more closely. She'd had an inkling that he'd like the Murasames....they were perfect for him. Erica had known it, which was why she'd given her the final say on the design. _It was like a tribute to him. A way of saying thank you that would mean more than words could ever say. _"They're called Murasame."

"Where are they from? Did Orb make them?"

"That's right. Morgenroete was rebuilt not long after the first war ended - a lot of us work there."

"Do _you_ work there?"

"Mmm-hmm. Shipbuilding section B."

He chuckled. "Perfect job for you. So Director Simmons and the others made these?"

"We all had a hand in them, but yes. They're transformable, so they can be deployed in fighter mode further away from the battlefield than the Astrays and switch to mobile suit mode when they get there." She watched his face for his reaction to this and had real trouble stifling laughter at his obvious delight. "Yes, I thought you'd like that. You can have a look round them but don't touch - they don't belong to this ship." Leaving him to it she walked back to join Kira-kun and the others, who had all watched the exchange.

"He likes them," the boy commented with a grin. "I knew he would."

"I thought it might help him. He's more like himself now but he's still nervous around people - he's expecting to be judged pretty harshly for what he was made to do."

"Who is he?" Amagi-san was watching Mwu's exploration of the Murasame fleet with a mixture of curiosity and alarm. "I don't remember seeing him before."

Kira-kun grinned. "You might not have met him before, but you've probably heard of the Hawk of Endymion, right?"

The older man blinked. "That's him? But I'd heard he was killed back at the battle of Jachin Due.."

"That's what everyone thought," replied Murrue softly, glancing back at the man. "It's a long story, and one that doesn't get any better with the telling, but we found him back in Berlin."

Amagi-san nodded, a faint smile creeping onto his face. "A lot of the Astray pilots who came back from that battle spoke very highly of him. If he ever wanted to fly with us, he'd just have to ask."

"Thank you very much."

Murdoch laughed. "Hope he's not out of practice."

"There's always the simulator."

"True," Murrue tapped her chin thoughtfully. "But I still don't want one of those going out into battle. I want to get them and their pilots home to Orb safely."

Kira-kun smiled a little. "That ZAFT ship's still looking for us. If we make it to the ocean before they catch us, then it's all well and good, but if we don't, you know Mwu-san's going to want to go out and fight."

"Yes, I know. And while I'd rather he stayed here where I could keep an eye on him, I can't say it wouldn't be good for him. I think he has this idea that he needs to atone for the things he did."

Amagi-san smiled. "He can take mine if he wants to."

"No. Not one of those."

"What about Commander Bartfeld's?" Murdoch offered. "A Murasame that actually belongs to this ship? I'm sure he wouldn't mind the Commander using it."

"That's true. We'll see what happens."

As she'd expected (and dreaded) Kira-kun was right. When she went back over to check on Mwu he asked her right away. "Can I fly one of these if we end up in a battle?"

"No, not these. They belong to a ship that was sunk by ZAFT - I promised myself I'd get them back to Orb safely. If you really want to fly, then you can take that one as long as you bring it back in one piece. And practice on the simulator first."

"Which one?" He followed her gaze eagerly - then his face fell. "That one? The one with the weird paintjob?"

She smiled. "I don't think Commander Bartfeld would like you calling it 'weird'. He's quite proud of it."

"That belongs to the Tiger guy? He came back to Orb with you?"

"Both he and Lacus-san did. Commander Bartfeld worked with us at Morgenroete, and he and I were housemates for a while."

Mwu frowned slightly. "You lived with him?"

"I did. It made sense. He lived close to the complex, his house was too big for just one person and besides.." She shrugged. "He lost someone too, so he knew how I was feeling."

"Murrue.."

"It's alright. Nothing happened, or ever would have."

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean.." He hugged her gently. "Sorry. All that's happened and I'm still acting this way."

"And that's okay."

"Why is it okay? If I'm being a jerk then tell me."

She smiled. "You haven't been. Being insecure doesn't make you a jerk."

He smiled himself, rather lopsidedly. "You don't have to be so nice about it.."

"You _need_ someone to be nice about it." Standing on her tiptoes she kissed him lightly. "For however long it takes."

"But how do I repay you?"

"Mwu, you're _here_. That's all I need."

He looked different. Not just because of the scars and longer hair, but something else in the face, in the eyes. When he was with Murrue-san he seemed more or less his old self, but after she'd left the hangar to go on shift he looked lost. _She mentioned he's nervous around people... _Replacing the tools he'd been using to work on Freedom Kira walked across to his friend. "Mwu-san?"

The older man smiled a little. "Hey, kid. How's it going?"

"Well enough. Are things okay with you and Murrue-san?"

He nodded, leaning against one of the Murasames. "She hasn't changed. I told her everything and she still smiled. I don't know why.."

"Because she loves you. That's never changed, not even after all that time - in fact I think her feelings only got stronger."

"Even though she lived with the Tiger?"

Kira smiled. "Bartfeld-san's been a good friend to her. The first few months after the end of the war were pretty tough for her, and none of us wanted her to be alone with that. Living with someone else helped her a lot."

"How does _he_ feel about _her_?"

"You know Murrue-san. She sort of draws people to her. He cares about her, but I'm not sure how much." A white lie, but the true answer would be better coming from Bartfeld-san himself. Mwu-san seemed to understand that, scarred face pensive, and Kira sighed. "You don't have anything to worry about. Not about being judged - the ones who might are those who don't know you or are misinformed somehow - or about Murrue-san's feelings."

"Easier said than done," his friend commented wryly. "But thanks. For that, and for helping me get back here. I owe you one. Though I still don't know how you knew I was there."

"I don't know either. I just sort of did." Kira shrugged. "Glad I did though."

"No kidding.." The older man ran a hand through overlong hair, then glanced back as something occurred to him. "That ZAFT ship that was at Berlin - what happened to it?"

"_Minerva_? Still out there. We've poked our noses into a lot of their battles with the Alliance to try and get them to quit fighting each other, but we just succeeded in making ourselves their enemy. Milly's picked up a signal following us - all we can do is try and make it to the ocean before they catch us."

Mwu-san frowned. "How will that help?"

"Murrue-san and Simmons-san had a few modifications done to _Archangel_ in the time we were in Orb - the ship can go underwater now."

A low whistle. "Nice. If they do catch us, then I'll go out in Tiger's Murasame thing. He borrowed my girlfriend, so it seems kinda fair I borrow his plane. It has a terrible paint job but it seems well put together. Morgenroete do good work."

"They do. Simmons-san and her design team were working for at least two months on the plans before they even started - but Murrue-san was the one who came up with the idea."

His friend blinked. "Murrue did? But she said something about shipbuilding.."

"That's where she worked, yes, in charge of section B, but she and Simmons-san are good friends. I think they were having lunch together or something...I don't know the details. You'll have to ask her."

"I will." Mwu-san smiled. "Thanks, kid."

"No problem." _A little perspective was all he needed. To the ones he knew and those who knew him, he's the same person he was before. He just went through a lot. And how many of us haven't? _"Did you pilot a lot with the Alliance?"

"Not much, no. I had my own mobile suit, but they kept me on a pretty tight rein while I was using it. Most of the time I was on board ship. I'm a bit out of practice.."

"Want a go on the simulator? Bet I can beat you."

Mwu-san raised an eyebrow. "Is that right? You think you've gotten _that_ good?"

Kira grinned, enjoying the banter. "Yep. And I can prove it."

"Do your worst."

Things were getting back to normal.

* * *

( Nothingmuch chapter. The battle is next - if I put it at the end of this it'd just look tacked-on, which is no good. Plus I can really focus on it then.

please read and review! )


	4. Chapter 4

"My round."

"No way! I nailed you that time!"

"I shot you down fair and square."

"Did not."

"Did too. It says so. Freedom beat Murasame six matches to none."

A definite pout. "Not surprising given that thing's just point and shoot. No skill involved."

"You're saying I'm not skilled?"

"I'm saying you should try using a different suit next time. Then we'll have a better idea."

"You're on."

Up on the gantry Murrue glanced at Cagalli-san, and the young woman glanced back, then shrugged with a small shake of her head. _Boys_, the expression clearly said, one which the older woman could entirely sympathise with. Kira-kun and Mwu had spent hours on the simulator over the last few days fighting each other in mock battles, and to be fair to Mwu things were pretty one-sided since the boy always fought using Freedom, a suit that was almost an extension of his own body. _In a way I can understand it - in order to beat him Mwu has to be at the very top of his game, but it's still a touch unfair..._

"You'd never guess they were friends.."

Murrue smiled. "This is good for them. Neither of them have been themselves - a little friendly rivalry might work wonders."

"You might be right there. They do _look_ better.."

She nodded. Both looked much happier despite their squabbling, Kira-kun's smile brighter than she'd seen it in a long time. _He missed Mwu. Lacus-san said that he was devastated when he heard what had happened to Strike. Perhaps he blamed himself for not being able to help him, just as I did..._ With a fond sigh she leaned on the gantry rail to watch them more, and the slight movement caught Mwu's attention, he glancing up and grinning broadly when he saw her.

"Why don't we let the cap'n decide who won?"

Kira-kun snorted. "Like that's any fairer than me using Freedom."

"What? Murrue would be fair."

"She's your girlfriend. How is that fair?" Mwu huffed, and the younger man rolled his eyes. "Think your excuses through better."

"You'd be fair, wouldn't you, Murrue?"

She grinned. "Now that depends on how you'd react if you didn't win."

His face fell. "You'd really be that mean?"

"You asked if I'd be fair. Being fair means I don't take sides."

"Do you take bribes?" he asked hopefully and she laughed.

"Think about how well you know me, then think about whether I would." He did as she asked, then sighed, broad shoulders slumping. In truth, she probably would let him bribe her in some way, and also let him get away with it - he'd been away too long for her to be able to deny him anything.

Kira-kun just beamed. "Does that mean I win?"

"Try fighting Murasame against Murasame, then we'll see." This time it was Mwu's turn to grin, scarred face lighting up in the familiar boyish expression she remembered so well, but had rarely seen since he came back. "Now does that sound fair?"

"I guess.." Kira-kun didn't sound convinced, but he nevertheless trudged back to the simulator after his friend. Cagalli-san just smiled.

"I think the Commander hit a nerve by saying piloting Freedom didn't take any skill.."

"He knows how skilled a pilot Kira-kun is. That's why he's looking forward to fighting him on an equal footing."

"So he'll enjoy this?"

"Very much."

And she was right. Ten minutes later the two reappeared, and while both were smiling Kira-kun's was rather more rueful than it had been. Mwu on the other hand was grinning from ear-to-ear, confidence boosted by what had clearly been a good battle. _He needed it. To prove to himself and everyone else that he's still as good a pilot as he used to be....to prove that he's still the person he used to be. _"I take it that went differently?"

Kira-kun sighed. "Couldn't get a hit on him. I think I need more training.."

"Told ya. Freedom's a great suit, but it's not built for close-combat fighting. If you get into a real melee battle you might end up the loser."

"How come you're still so good anyway? I thought they didn't let you pilot much."

"Oh they didn't," Mwu replied airily. "But all the ships have simulators just like this one - I used to practice when no-one was around.." His smile faded slightly. "Guess it helped me remember who I was supposed to be.."

Obviously not wanting his friend to relive painful memories Kira-kun smiled and patted his shoulder. "And helped you kick my ass. So it's a good thing."

"An interesting way of looking at things.." But the grin was back, he glancing up as Murrue and Cagalli-san walked down the steps to join them. "Hey ladies. Impressed?"

"Oh yeah." Cagalli-san smiled sweetly at her brother, who just shot her a sour look and walked off. "Thank you, Commander."

Mwu blinked. "Thank me? For what?"

"Giving him some perspective. Kira's so used to Freedom that I think he's started to consider himself invincible.." She looked downcast, worried. "I'm afraid he'll end up getting himself killed."

"Not if I have anything to say about it." The blonde man looked decisive, chin lifted slightly. "We can train more, and if we have to go fight I'll keep an eye on him."

Murrue smiled. "You'll keep an eye on Freedom in a borrowed Murasame?"

"Sure. Why not?"

Cagalli-san nodded. "Thanks again. I'd go out in Rouge, but Captain Ramius and Amagi won't let me.."

"I should think not. Murrue tells me you're Orb's boss now. We've got to get you back there in one piece, haven't we?"

The girl made a face. "Hate being fussed over.."

Mwu chuckled and ruffled her hair. "They do it 'cause they care about you. What's to hate about that?"

"I guess.."

"See? Nothing to worry about. Now if you'll excuse me, milady, I'll take my captain for something to eat." At the young woman's nod he grinned and held out his arm for Murrue, and the two of them walked from the hangar.

"They're both better for you being back."

He smiled a little. "You think so?"

"Yes. Around you they act like the children they are instead of having to live up to expectations. Cagalli-san tries so hard to be all her father was and she's doing a wonderful job, but sometimes she needs to remember that she's only eighteen. You don't treat her like she's anyone special, and she appreciates that."

"And the kid?"

"Kira-kun's taken on the responsibility of protecting _Archangel_. I can't thank him enough for it, but one mobile suit to protect this ship is a tough job. He understands why I can't let the Murasames go out, and he never complains, but.."

"And now he doesn't have to fight alone anymore?"

Murrue nodded. "That and he missed you. Lacus-san told me how upset he was when he heard what happened to Strike - he felt as though he should have been able to save you, even though there was no way he could have.." She shrugged with a little smile. "He wasn't the only one who felt that way."

"Now come on," He wound an arm around her waist, stopping in front of a window to look out at the snow that still fell. "You can't keep thinking 'what if?' Instead of worrying about what you think you should have done, try thinking about what you _can_ do in all the time ahead. When the war's over, when we pack away this old girl again, the sky's the limit."

"Just the sky?"

Mwu smiled. "Alright then, as high as you want to go. Anything you want."

"You."

"Hmm?"

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. "That's what I want. You. Whatever happens, no matter where we end up, if we're together, then I'll be happy."

"That sounds like a plan." Bringing her around to stand in front of him he hugged her tightly, nuzzling his nose into her hair. _I don't deserve it, but if being with me makes her happy who am I to complain? _"What's it like to live in Orb?"

"It's beautiful. Very warm - it might take you a while to get used to it - but beautiful. I never saw clearer skies at night anywhere. And it's so peaceful.." Her voice was quiet, tone wistful and he smiled, kissing the back of her neck.

"It's home, huh?"

"It's home. For me, and I hope for you too."

"I'm sure it will be." He remembered the island country from his previous visits, remembered the almost overwhelming heat but also the beauty. He and Murrue had gone for walks along the beach not long after the battle, to relax, take in the country's sights, and enjoy each other's company in the early stages of their relationship. Good memories, ones he cherished and hoped to add to. Yes, Orb could be home. _Home for both of us._

_"Captain Ramius to the bridge! Captain Ramius to the bridge!"_

"They're here." She quirked a small smile. "Matter of time. She didn't seem like the kind of person who'd give up."

"The ZAFT ship?"

"Yes. I don't want to fight her - the most I can do is send Kira-kun out there to hold them off while we try and make for the shoreline."

Ducking down Mwu kissed the tip of her nose. "And me. I'll take the Tiger guy's Murasame and back up the kid. I might not be able to do much but I can do that."

She crinkled her nose. "I knew you'd want to. Just...be careful, okay? I just got you back."

"I promise. And you be careful too." Sneaking a last kiss he ran back toward the hangar. Back up the kid he would, but he'd also do his best to protect his ship and captain.

_This time I'll do things right._

_

* * *

_The battle was in full swing. The ZAFT ship - _Minerva_, Murrue had called it - had brought friends, a land-based battleship packed full of tanks and those weird four-legged suit things like the Tiger guy had used back in the desert. It was all he could do to keep a lid on them. Kira had almost instantly gotten collared by that Shinn kid's mobile suit. _And that's just what I was trying to warn him about. Melee fighting's not Kira's strong suit anymore, and the Shinn kid's a helluva pilot. _He remembered the boy from when he'd brought Stellar back that time, a fierce, determined looking kid with black hair and crimson eyes. _Another person I made a promise to, another promise I couldn't keep. _But.. Flying low he peppered another tank with fire until it exploded into fragments before pulling up into a steep climb. She'd asked him to be careful....now that was a promise he _could_ keep. The Murasame, despite it's lamentable paint job handled beautifully, a real credit to Murrue and the other Morgenroete guys, and he intended to tell them so once they arrived back home in Orb. Flying this and staying in one piece would be no trouble. That wasn't what he was worried about.

"Murrue.."

His ship was heading for the shoreline just as she'd said, in an attempt to get underwater and evade the enemy, but _Minerva _wasn't making it easy. They strafed the white ship with fire, _Archangel_'s ablative armour only able to handle so much - they were taking a real hammering. Ignoring the landship's continuing annoyance he gunned the engines and headed straight for _Minerva_, firing everything he had left at the ship's bridge in an attempt to distract them before peeling off at the last second. To his satisfaction it seemed to have helped, _Archangel_ almost submerged - then the unthinkable happened. All of a sudden a dazzling burst of light burst from _Minerva'_s bow, striking the water just where his ship had vanished and sending a plume of water and fire fifty feet into the air. Stunned for a second Mwu didn't know how to react, the Murasame hanging in the air as he stared blankly at the point in the ocean where the explosion had come from. Scraps of white metal littered the surface, bobbing there innocently as though they weren't what they looked like.

"I..."

She wasn't gone, was she? She couldn't be.

"Murrue.."

_"Commander!" _

For a moment the voice didn't register. Why hadn't he been shot down by now? Surely he'd be an easy target just sitting here like this. Leaning back in the pilot seat he stared out at the horizon, hoping the shot came soon.

_"Commander! Can you hear me?" _Gradually it dawned on him that someone was calling his name. Blinking as though waking from a dream he glanced around for the source of the voice.

"Hello?"

_"Commander, are you alright? It's Cagalli!"_

The missie? "Yeah, I'm alright. But.."

_"We're okay! _Archangel_ made it! But Kira.."_

Relief warred with fear. His ship, his captain were okay, but his friend.. Flipping the Murasame into a dive he pitched into the ocean, changing to mobile suit mode as he saw Strike Rouge up ahead. "Is the kid okay?"

_"I don't know!" _The missie's voice was high-pitched and on the verge of cracking. _"We lost Freedom's signal...I've been calling him ever since I came out here but he won't answer.."_

Mwu bit his lip. There was a chance he might _never_ answer. "Dammit, kid.." _I warned him, but it didn't mean I expected it to happen.. _"Let's keep looking."

* * *

"They're on their way back, ma'am."

"And Kira-kun?"

Chandra sighed. "Can't tell. It _looks_ like there are three objects, but without communications I can't tell."

She ran a hand through her hair. Mwu was okay, they'd been able to tell her that much, but after losing Freedom's signal the mood on the bridge had become sombre. "Alert sickbay, just in case."

"Ma'am."

Miriallia-san leaned down from her seat. "Is it...all right if I.."

"We'll both go."

The walk down was quiet, the air filled with tension. The ship was mostly out of danger, though with the damage it had sustained the journey back to Orb would be a slow one.

"Murrue-san?"

"Yes?"

Miriallia-san sighed. "What if he's.."

"I don't know." Not something she wanted to think about. She'd spent most of the battle alternatively praying that her ship and her lover would make it through, but had spared little thought for Kira-kun, believing that Freedom would be enough to keep him safe. _But this time it wasn't.. _Guilt stabbed at her - Kira-kun had given so much to protect the ship but she hadn't thanked him for it, and now it could be too late. "I have a lot to apologise for."

"To Kira? You never needed to. He told me he thinks of you like a big sister."

Murrue smiled slightly. "That's nice to know."

"He'll be all right," the younger woman said softly. "He has to be. He's come through things like this before."

"Yes, he has."

"He'll be there in sickbay getting patched up asking us what we're worried for."

As it turned out, reality was only slightly different. Kira-kun was indeed there getting patched up, but he was unconscious, lying perfectly still in one of the beds being watched over by Mwu and Cagalli-san. Mwu's pilot suit was bloodstained but thankfully he didn't seem injured. He glanced up as she walked in and smiled, crossing to her side and enfolding her in a hug so tight she could barely breathe.

"Wha- Mwu!"

"Don't ever do anything like that again."

"Do wha.... oh."

He shook his head with a short laugh. "You scared the hell out of me. Thought I'd lost you."

"I'm sorry." Managing to peek up at him she smiled. "But after the stunts you've pulled you can't really scold me for anything."

"Sure I can. Just 'cause I do that stuff doesn't mean you have to copy."

"Who's copying? I was just proving I could outdo you."

Mwu chuckled. "Is that right? I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Only because you don't like to lose."

"Not in something like this. One of us being reckless is enough."

"I'll make you a deal then. If _you_ stop being reckless, then _I _will. Sound fair?"

He nodded, leaning down to brush a kiss to her lips. "Sounds fair. No blocking Lohengrins."

"Or flying straight at battleships in a fighter plane."

"Ah, you saw that. No, no flying at battleships. And you, no blowing up engines to make me and everyone else think the ship's exploded."

"Deal."

"I still win."

Murrue laughed, leaning against him. "Yes, you still win. For now."

* * *

( Weird chapter, I know. That'll be the vanilla frosting.

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	5. Chapter 5

She was sleeping. They'd walked back to her room in companionable silence, hands held tightly, and when they'd reached their destination she'd just collapsed into his arms, completely wiped out. It was easy to understand why - battles were emotionally and physically draining, not least when you were the one running the show, and she hadn't even wanted to fight the other ship. _She doesn't want to fight anyone. She just wants it all to stop... _Brushing a lock of auburn hair from his captain's face he smiled as she murmured and nuzzled a little closer to him. "I didn't realise you could be so reckless.." After they'd found the cockpit section of Freedom (how the kid had survived was anyone's guess) the missie had told him about Murrue's plan - detaching one of _Archangel_'s damaged engines into the path of _Minerva_'s positron cannon in the hope that it would appear as though the ship had been destroyed. It was a risky but brave move, further increasing his admiration for her...although it had scared the hell out of him.

_"I wanted to tell you," _she'd admitted after they'd left the kid to sleep in sickbay. _"To let you know that we were all right. But the communications got knocked out..." _She'd even suggested, rather impishly, that perhaps his own recklessness had rubbed off on her - something he hadn't anticipated and wasn't at all sure he liked the sound of. _I wouldn't say that I was reckless. I take a few risks, sure, but no more than any other pilot would, and what I did at Jachin Due was to protect her. How can she say that's reckless? _Shaking his head with a rueful smile he flicked off the light and brought the blanket up to cover them both, winding an arm around her waist and settling close.

"You really scared me.."

"M'sorry.." she murmured drowsily, startling him. "Didn't mean it.."

"I know you didn't, princess. It's okay. Sorry I woke you."

Murrue smiled. "Missed being called that." Rolling over to face him she brushed a kiss to the scar over his nose. "Was I reckless?"

"I don't know if you were _reckless_ as such, but it was a pretty big risk. If something had gone wrong.."

"But it didn't. We're all right. You're the one who told me I shouldn't keep thinking about 'what if', right?"

He blinked, then chuckled, ducking down to kiss her gently. "Right. I just worry about you, that's all."

"I know you do." She ran a fingertip over his face. "And I worry about _you_. I get mad when you take risks because I don't want to lose you. Not again."

"Murrue.." Wasn't that why he'd been scared? If any other captain of any other ship had done what she'd done he'd have been impressed, have commented on their bravery, but because it was his own ship and the one he loved he'd been worried, and even a little hurt that she'd take a risk that might have resulted in him never seeing her again. _She's all I have. If something had gone wrong, if I'd lost her, there'd be nothing left for me. But then again... _He sighed, shaking his head with a rueful smile. _How can I scold her when I did the exact same thing to her? _"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Because now I think I know how you felt, and why you worry."

Murrue nodded. "It's hard not to when you're out there. I just got you back."

"I'll be careful. I promise." He'd protect her, but also protect himself. Losing him again would hurt her terribly, just as losing her would hurt him. "No more being reckless."

"I'll hold you to that." Stretching out with a little sigh she snuggled into his arms, pillowing her head on his chest just as she'd always done. He'd planned to stay here a while then go back to his own room, but it seemed as though she wasn't about to let him, and he was fine with that. _Even when I do go back I usually end up here in the early hours anyway. Nightmares.. _He always tried his best not to wake her, yet somehow he always did, and she'd let him hold her as tightly as he wanted. Somehow, with her, the nightmares didn't haunt him, he dreaming instead of the times they had spent together....as though her presence was enough to chase away the guilt and sadness that always hung over his head. Not understanding how, but more grateful than he could say, Mwu kissed the crown of her hair and settled back into the pillows.

"Murrue?"

"Hmm?"

"Love you."

He felt her smile. "Love you too."

* * *

The kid looked in a bad way. Not physically - the injuries he'd gotten would likely be healed in a few more days - but he was just...down. The missie came by every so often, as did the carrot-top girl, but there didn't seem to be much they could do to cheer him up. With a sigh he sat down on the tiny chair beside the kid's bed, raising an eyebrow when Kira jumped. "Don't tell me I scared you."

"You startled me.." he protested. "I was thinking.."

"You were moping."

"Was not."

"Sure you were. I've done enough of both to know the difference. You were moping about getting your ass kicked, losing Freedom, not being able to protect the ship...how'm I doing so far?"

Kira managed a smile. "Pretty well."

"Thought so. And getting beaten by Impulse isn't so bad - that kid's a helluva talented pilot."

"It was because I killed that girl. I had no choice - she'd have killed him, me and everyone else if I hadn't stopped her, but.."

Mwu closed his eyes briefly. _Stellar... _He'd known what must have happened, and knew there must have been nothing else the kid could have done, but it still hurt. She'd been a sweet kid, retaining her innocence despite what she and the others had been forced to do, and he'd grown fond of her in those two years. _To her, I wasn't a bad person. She looked forward to seeing me, was happy when I was around - she was the only one who treated me normally._

"I'm sorry," Kira said quietly. "I knew you must have known her. I screwed up a lot that day."

"You wouldn't have done it if there had been another way." was the reply. He'd seen the kid fight - he only disabled enemy suits, not destroyed them. "Perhaps it was the kindest thing. She and the others didn't have much of a life."

"But she was a friend.."

"Yeah, she was a friend. But so are you."

Kira smiled thinly. "Doesn't make it right."

"No, it doesn't. But not much about war ever is right. You did the only thing you could have. And that Shinn kid must have friends, family that care about him - you saved him."

"Shinn? Is that his name?"

Mwu nodded. "Once, Stellar - that girl - got separated from the rest of us, and that kid took her back to his ship. She nearly died, as she and the others were dependent on a medication the Alliance gave them, so he contacted me and brought her back. He made me promise I wouldn't make her fight again, and I did, but.."

"But you weren't able to keep it."

"There was no way I could have. It wasn't up to me. I tried, but I was overruled. The kid must hate me."

"Mwu-san.."

"It's okay, I guess. Can't get through life without upsetting people. I'm glad you're okay." He'd deliberately tried to keep from getting too close to Stellar, but Kira.. _If it had been me... if Stellar had been about to kill Kira, or destroy _Archangel_...I'd have done what I had to. I can't judge him for doing the same. _"I still owe you one for bringing me back here."

The kid smiled. "I brought you back here because _I_ owed _you._ You and Murrue-san helped me out so much I wanted to repay you somehow - when I sensed you out there I figured the best way to do that was to help you two be together again.."

"You 'sensed' me?"

"I don't know how. I just knew it was you.." Kira shrugged. "It worked out."

"Yeah.." However it had happened, he was grateful. He was back here on the ship that had become his home, with his friends and the one he loved....the place and people he'd spent the last two years dreaming of. "Does that make us equal then?"

The kid smiled. "I think it does."

* * *

"Where are we going?"

Murrue smiled. "Nowhere special." He'd been pretty quiet the last few days. The nightmares had lessened, but something was still bothering him, his expression and demeanour downcast.....she wanted to help him somehow, and this seemed like the best way. _It should be interesting to see his reaction.. _Leading him into the elevator she turned around and hugged him, murmuring happily when he returned the embrace. "You're worried again."

"No fair."

"What's no fair?"

"You know me too well."

"I always did." Standing on her tiptoes she kissed him. "And that's a good thing."

"It is." Mwu smiled finally, blue eyes gentle. "Thanks. And I'm sorry. I said I wouldn't keep secrets from you anymore."

"I don't mind you keeping secrets unless they hurt you. And these do, don't they?"

"A little. Just remembering stuff."

"I see." She decided not to pry any further....the memories were painful enough without her asking questions about them. When the elevator reached it's destination she took his hand and led him out into the corridor, hiding a smile at his obvious confusion. He remembered the layout of the ship - as far as his memory went there shouldn't be anything of interest on this deck. But she and Erica had added something two years ago that would no doubt interest him greatly. "Trust me."

"I do." Squeezing her hand gently he followed her without question, only glancing around briefly to probably wonder where she was taking him.

"The kid was smiling."

"Was he?"

"He said I'd like what was down here, but so far I just see storage rooms. What have you been up to?"

Murrue grinned. "Not just me. Erica and Lacus-san had a hand in it too." Pressing the control to open the door she tugged him inside, switching on the light. "What do you think?"

He looked around the small room. brows knitting in a frown. "Locker room?"

"Partly. Here.." She led him to a door in the opposite wall. "Take a look." She hung back a little, waiting for his reaction...and wasn't disappointed.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me."

"Do you like it?"

He chuckled softly. "Oh yeah. But why is something like this here?"

"Erica and I put it in. We didn't know if we'd ever need the ship again, but we didn't want to just mothball her and forget about everything, so.."

"So you installed a bath?"

"Mmm-hmm. And we have all afternoon. Plenty of time to relax."

Mwu wound an arm around her waist and nuzzled a kiss to her cheek. "What, you think we'll be _relaxing_? I have plans for this bath.."

"Oh?" Suppressing a shiver of excitement she smiled up at him as innocently as she could. "What kind of plans?"

"The kind _you_ were thinking of, I expect. No use looking all sweet."

"It's not a mixed bath."

He grinned. "Today, it is. Where do we get undressed?"

"Over behind that door. Then we take a shower."

"We take a shower before we have a bath? Why?"

"Because this bath is for soaking in, not washing in. We get all clean, then we can stay in there as long as we want. Okay?"

"What are we waiting for?"

The bath felt wonderful. Stretching out she settled back into the hot water with a contented sigh, only glancing up when she heard footsteps on the wet floor. He was grinning brightly, earlier worries forgotten, just as she'd hoped. "These towels are really small. Do I have to wear them in the bath?"

"The one over your hair you do, to keep it from getting in the water. The other one.."

He laughed, letting it fall to the floor before stepping into the bath. "Ow. This really _is_ hot.."

"Will it be okay?"

"Should be.." Wading toward where she waited he sat down gingerly, hissing in pain as the water stung the scars that criss-crossed his body. She'd expected this and scooted close to him, brushing thin fingers over the old injuries on his back.

"Does it hurt?"

Mwu managed a breathless laugh. "Not right now, it doesn't. Kind of the opposite.."

"Oh?" Leaning close she kissed the scars gently, giggling when he shivered. "Ah, I see."

"If you don't quit that it won't be a hot bath I need, but a cold shower."

"You were the one who said you had 'plans'.."

"I was, wasn't I? C'mere then.." Catching her around the waist he brought her to sit on his lap, peppering kisses to her neck and chest until she squirmed. "What do you think of my plan so far?"

"I think it's pretty good.." Closing her eyes she shuffled a little nearer, murmuring happily when his hands started to wander. She'd known what his plan had been, had looked forward to it....this was better than even the shower had been. Not what the bath had been installed for, but what could it hurt?

_Even the captain can have fun sometimes..._

* * *

"Was that why you took me there?"

She smiled, leaning back against him. After their bath they'd taken a walk through the ship together hand-in-hand, going over old memories and discussing what might happen when they got back to Orb, and had ended up at the observation window looking out at the ocean depths. The ship's lights only illuminated about two metres ahead, but every so often something would appear through the darkness, like a school of fish, or a carpet of sea grass. It was beautiful, and rather romantic when you were watching it with someone special.

"Not specifically for that," she admitted softly. "More to help you relax - to take your mind off whatever was bothering you."

He kissed the crown of her hair. "And it was appreciated, believe me. Sorry if I've been acting weird.."

"You haven't been," she reassured him. "You've been through a lot. No-one expects you to act as though nothing happened."

"I want to be the way everyone remembers, but I don't know if I ever can be.."

"And that's okay." Turning around in his arms she rested her head on his shoulder, smiling when he hugged her close. "You can be whoever you want to be."

"Would you still like me?"

"I'd still love you."

Mwu inclined his head to rest it on hers. He'd expected her to say something like that but it still felt good to hear it - that even if he never returned to being the man he'd been, she'd still feel the same way about him. More than he deserved. _All of it is. Being back here, being with friends, but most of all being with her... _"Murrue?"

"Mmm?"

"Thanks." He didn't say for what or how much but felt sure she'd understand. She'd saved him. He'd protected her, sure, but she'd done far more for him. He'd left her alone for two years, and when she'd found him again he hadn't been the person she'd known. But she'd forgiven him, accepted him...still loved him. Not for the first time, he was able to see just how strong she was.

"You're amazing."

She pinked. "M'not.."

"Sure you are." Turning her around again he wound arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, the two of them looking back out at the ocean. When they got back to Orb, he decided, the two of them would do all the things they'd never gotten to. Go out for walks, have dinner together...all the things that regular couples did.

_I'd say we've earned it._

* * *

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	6. Chapter 6

The bridge was silent, all eyes focused on the viewer. The news report showed footage of a battle that had taken place earlier that day between the Alliance and ZAFT - one which the Alliance had apparently lost. The scene shifted to show the remains of ships and mobile suits, ZAFT personnel working to salvage what they could and rescue any survivors. It had been a given that they'd go after the main base....with that out of the way any resistance the Alliance could put up had been significantly reduced..

"Good riddance."

Surprised, all looked up at the voice. Mwu had his arms folded, scarred face set and expressionless. "I hated that place," he continued quietly. "They sent me there to recover. It's the most miserable place I've ever been. No-one ever spoke, no-one smiled....like they were afraid to. That was because of _them_. Blue Cosmos."

"That was their base?"

He nodded. "They called it 'Heaven's Base'. A less fitting name they couldn't have imagined."

Kira-kun frowned. "So their leader would be there? Whoever took over from Azrael?"

"Djibril? I doubt it. He'd have run the moment he worked out the Alliance were losing."

"So he could be anywhere.."

"Well, not _anywhere._" Mwu leaned against Neumann's console, looking back at the rest of them. "Somewhere he could be sure of finding sympathisers, but where no-one would think to look right away. Arzachel - the moon base - or.."

"Orb."

Everyone turned to look at Kira-kun. He smiled thinly. "It makes sense. Sympathy for the Alliance there goes right to the top, and how many people would think of looking for Djibril there?"

Murrue sighed. _That makes more sense than I wish it did... _"And if the Chairman works that out, it gives him a perfect excuse to attack Orb.."

"It was only a matter of time. Whatever the reason, ZAFT would have attacked them sooner or later."

"So we fight them off." Neumann shrugged.

"With what?"

"The Murasames." Amagi-san stepped forward. "Even if no-one else back home will fight, _we_ will."

Mwu smiled. "And so will I." Murrue nodded, glancing over at Kira-kun. The boy smiled himself, just a little, but the expression was a sad one. Ever since he'd lost Freedom he'd seemed to feel like he'd lost his purpose, not quite sure what to do with himself. Mwu had done what he could, spending time with him in the simulators and in the mess hall, and the presence of his friend Athrun-kun had helped....but there was still something missing. _I think the biggest part of it is that Freedom was a gift to him from Lacus-san. She trusted him with it and he's lost it.._

"Yeah, I think you're right."

She shook her head with a small sigh, leaning back against him. "He looks so lost sometimes......I'm not sure whether it's because of losing Freedom or because Lacus-san isn't around.."

"Maybe it's both?"

"Maybe it is." Stretching out until her joints popped she peeked back up at him. "So....you were at that base?"

"For a while, until I recovered, then they shipped me back and forth between about four other bases. I think they were trying to keep me on edge. But I remember that place better than I'd like to. It was winter then, and the sun barely rose above the horizon most days. And it was cold, but I was used to that." He didn't say anything about Djibril or the others there, and she didn't ask - it was obviously a painful subject. If he wanted to tell her one day, then she'd listen, but until then she'd be there for him like she always had. Taking his hands she squeezed gently, smiling when he kissed the crown of her hair.

"We'll be home soon."

"Yeah.." The nervous edge in his voice was easy to hear, and she turned around to look up at him.

"It's going to be alright. Nothing's changed."

"_I've_ changed."

Murrue poked him in the chest. "No, you haven't."

"To _you_, I haven't."

"To everyone who knew you, you haven't. I already told you that." Shaking her head she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly. "And if anyone says you have, they'll have me to answer to."

Mwu chuckled. "You'll stick up for me?"

"Of course I will."

He hugged her. "Thanks."

* * *

"What did you do to my ship?"

Murrue rolled her eyes, hands on her hips. "Can you wait till I'm out the damn door before you start complaining?"

"If you'd brought her back in one piece, then I would have." Shaking her head she examined the scorch marks on the ship's once pristine white hull, taking in the missing engine and damaged weaponry. "You are _so_ helping me fix this. And you're going to owe me."

"Like I expected anything else." Her friend stepped through the hatch into the underground dock, running a hand through her hair. She looked tired, stressed....but oddly happy. Her ship had been damaged, Freedom was apparently in fragments at the bottom of the ocean, and if the rumours were accurate ZAFT were on their way - what did she have to be happy about? Erica opened her mouth to ask....then her mouth sort of hung open as someone stepped through the hatch behind Murrue. He had longer hair, a scar, but was instantly recognisable. But..

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

He had the grace to look sheepish, glancing down at his feet. After all the pain he'd put Murrue through she had half a mind to smack him round the head (and that was just for starters), but before she could rail on him her friend placed a hand on his arm, her smile one of real affection. And Erica sighed. _She's forgiven him. Why am I not surprised? _"So you brought a stray home?"

"I did." She hugged his arm. "Can I keep him?"

"If you must." He nodded politely, glancing up and around at the dock. He seemed to understand that she wanted to talk to him, as he leaned in close to murmur something to Murrue, and she looked sideways at Erica with a small sigh.

"Okay." She pointed up at the gantry where technicians were already beginning to work on the damaged _Archangel. _"When you're done, come find me." With that, she walked away, leaving the two of them there watching her before he peeked up rather shyly at Erica.

"Where did she find you?" she asked without preamble.

La Fllaga smiled a little. "Berlin. Mobile suit got shot down."

"You were with the Alliance, then?"

"Not willingly, but yes." He leaned on the railing and gazed out over the dock. "They found me and patched me up before setting me to work for them. There are a few excuses, but none that really stand up."

"Murrue forgives you?"

His smile grew slightly. "She does. I have no idea why she would, but.."

"She loves you. She always has, no matter how hard things were for her." She didn't mention the nightmares or the tears though she wanted to - that could come later. "How....did you survive?"

"I don't know. The first thing I remember after the light was waking up on an Alliance ship. I hoped it was _Archangel_ at first but realised quickly that it wasn't, so I kept quiet.."

"She found you in Berlin?"

He nodded. "Kira found me first. He took out my suit rather too well, and I saw Murrue after that. The kid says he did it 'cause he owed us both and wanted us to be happy again." He looked up at Erica. "Murrue....did she miss me?"

"Did _you_ miss _her_?"

Another nod, this one fervent. Not that she was surprised. Back in the first war they had always been together. Murrue had mentioned that they'd grown to depend on each other a great deal, his presence providing stability and comfort. _"I never knew how much I needed him until he was gone.."_

"There's going to be quite a few people who won't be too happy to see you. Murrue's gotten quite a following."

He crinkled scarred nose. "Is that right? Murrue mentioned staying with the Tiger guy.."

"Yes, she did, and they worked here together. Bartfeld's gotten pretty fond of her."

"I don't blame him, I guess. But still.."

Erica grinned. "Nothing to worry about. She's the loyal kind. She told me once how hard you'd had to work to get more than a kiss, or even to get her to call you by your first name, and she always felt guilty about it, because she loved you but.."

"But she still loved the guy she'd been with before," La Fllaga finished, his smile now a fond one. "I knew it, and never tried to go further than she wanted me to. She was too important to me - she still is."

"And you are to her. That's why no-one here, not even Bartfeld, has ever been more than a friend to her."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Just....do things right this time, okay? I don't want her to cry anymore because of you."

"Me either."

* * *

The kid was in a bad way. He lay there barely conscious, heavily bandaged, and muttering under his breath, tossing and turning in the sickbay bed. The young miss he'd brought with him was completely uninjured, leading many to believe the kid had shielded her somehow. Kira had said it was something his friend would do, an assertion later backed up by the kid himself. _He said that she helped him escape - that he owes her his life. I'd say they're pretty even now. _The girl peeked out of the adjoining room timidly, lavender eyes widening slightly as she saw him sitting there on the bed beside the kid's.

"Hey there. Don't mind me - the docs wanted to check over my road map here." He gestured to the scars that criss-crossed his bare chest and arms. "If you want to sit with him, then go ahead."

"I didn't want to disturb anyone.." she murmured, hiding her face behind a curtain of red hair.

"You won't be. I think the kid would like some company. C'mon..."

The girl nodded and scuttled out to sit on the chair beside the kid's bed, expression downcast. "Athrun-san.."

_That's right, his name is Athrun.. _He remembered the kid from the first war. He'd been pretty indecisive about what he was actually fighting for, and it seemed as though that hadn't changed. Not a bad kid by any means, but.. "You know him well?"

The little miss shook her head. "Shinn and onee-chan knew him better than I did. They're all pilots - I was on the bridge most of the time. But.."

"But you like him, huh?"

She blushed and didn't reply, but he thought he knew the answer. Chuckling softly he moved to put on his T-shirt, intending to leave them be, when suddenly Murrue's voice rang over the intercom.

_"We've just received word that _Eternal _is under attack in low orbit!" _Mwu ran a hand through his hair. _Eternal _was the pink princess' ship. If that was destroyed.. The Athrun kid evidently thought the same, as he struggled to sit up even though he was in a lot of pain. The girl gasped, moving forward to help him.

"Athrun-san!"

"The _Eternal..._ Kira..."

Moving to the wallscreen Mwu tapped in the code for the bridge. "Hey, the kid here's making a lot of noise. I think he's telling Kira to go.."

The Athrun kid clutched at his chest. "You have....to protect...Lacus..."

"Well, everything might be lost if she is.." he mused, glancing up at the others on the screen. Kira nodded, turning to the missie.

"Cagalli, lend me Rouge! And a booster!" Without waiting for an answer he ran from the bridge.

"Ah, Kira!"

"Kira-kun!" Murrue sighed and shook her head, smiling up at Mwu. "Thanks. Is Athrun-kun all right?"

"Not really, but at least he's awake."

Nodding, she deactivated the viewer and he turned back to the kids. Athrun was smiling slightly. "Thank you, Commander La Fllaga."

"No problem."

"Lacus-sama?" The girl was frowning. "But I thought she.."

"Yeah. Murrue - our captain - told me about her. She says that the princess you guys had with you isn't the real one, but someone who looks and sounds like her. The real princess has been living in Orb with everyone else."

"Mia.."

"Hmm?"

The Athrun kid stared up at the ceiling. "The other...Lacus. Her name is Mia Campbell..."

"But why would she pretend to be Lacus-sama?"

"Everyone...in the PLANTS..."

Mwu nodded. "They all look up to her, huh? If she told them black was white they'd probably agree. Having someone to act as her is pretty clever.."

"Yeah.."

Back on the bridge he found Murrue alone, gazing out of the window at the dock. The scene brought back so many memories he couldn't help but smile, leaning against carrot-top's console to watch her a while. _I never regretted that day, no matter what happened. Being with her made me happier than I'd ever been, and it still does._

"I know you're there."

He grinned. "Busted. Whatcha dreaming about?"

"Nothing special." She held out a hand for him to join her, smiling herself when he moved close and drew her into a hug. "Hoping we can get _Archangel_ fixed in time, hoping Kira-kun can get to Lacus-san in time.."

"And you're worrying." he scolded gently. Pulling away from her a little he sighed, leaning close to kiss the tip of her nose. "The guys here can work miracles, and the kid can save the princess no matter what colour his mobile suit is."

"Actually when he launched it was the colour of the old Strike," she admitted. "He must have tinkered with the phase shift.."

"Really? I should have asked the missie if _I_ could borrow it."

Murrue huffed, thumping him in the chest. "You're not going _near_ it."

"Relax, love. I was joking."

She actually pouted. "Don't joke about things like that."

"Sorry." Hugging her close again he kissed the top of her head. But really, I think we'll be okay. The Director told me that the damage to this old girl isn't as bad as it looks - because it's so like _Kusanagi_ they can get a replacement engine fitted pretty fast. And you know the kid'll be fine."

"Yes, I know. It's just hard not to worry." Perhaps thinking about what he'd said she peeked up at him. "Erica didn't grill you too badly, did she?"

"Nah. Just asked me where I'd been and told me not to make you cry anymore. Not that I would."

"If you do, you'll regret it." Murrue smiled sweetly and he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, I get the feeling that I would."

She turned to look out of the window again, her smile becoming gentle when he wound arms around her waist. Neither spoke for a time, enjoying each other's presence and old memories.

"How long has it been?"

"Two and a half years," she replied, dark eyes fluttering closed when he began to press tiny kisses to her neck. They'd spent only a fraction of that time together, but still considered the time in between as part of their relationship. _I never forgot her, or stopped loving her, and it was the same for her. We're just picking up where we left off.. _

"That long, huh?"

"Mmm.." She murmured contentedly as he continued the attention, tilting her head to one side to let him kiss more of her.

"Want it to be longer?"

"I'd like that."

"So would I." _And it will be. I won't let her go again._

* * *

( Hee. Today I channelled my inner AsuMeyrin. Brought to you by lots of tea, some golden syrup cake, homemade cookies and four Kinder bars. I write better on sugar.

please read and review! )


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey."

She looked up from her clipboard and sighed. "I should have guessed. How's the ship?"

"The ship's going to be fine. But that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"No, I didn't think it would be. Fire away."

Erica leaned on the gantry railing, staring up at the ceiling. "So you just happened to find him?"

"I didn't 'happen' to do anything. Kira-kun was the one who found him - he was able to sense him somehow. He took out his mobile suit then called me saying he had something for me to take care of. I didn't understand at first...then I saw him."

"And you took him back to the ship with you?"

Murrue nodded. "What else could I have done? I wasn't going to leave him there.."

"He's been with the Alliance. What if they counted on you picking him up? He could lead them right here."

She frowned. "What are you trying to say?"

"That he could be a spy."

Murrue blinked, stunned, then turned away from her friend to check her clipboard. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."

"Are you denying it's a possibility?"

"What do _you_ think?"

"I think you're so happy to have him back that you wouldn't care, which is dangerous."

"You talked to him. Do _you_ think he could be a spy?"

"Honestly? No." Erica sighed. "I just wanted to see what you'd say."

"You were wondering whether I was suspicious of him at all.." She palmed her face. "You sure do have a mean way of getting information.."

"It worked, didn't it? No, I don't think he's a spy. Too dumb."

Murrue whacked the older woman with the clipboard. "Don't you insult him. He's too honest to be a spy - he's not dumb at all."

"If you say so. But you know...the Alliance doesn't have a good track record when it comes to civilians or people getting caught in the crossfire. I'm going to guess he did stuff he wishes he hadn't."

She nodded, closing her eyes briefly. He'd told her that first night, his voice so quiet sometimes she could barely hear him. He hadn't expected her to forgive him, but how could she not have? "He had a crew that they used against him. One foot out of place and they'd suffer for it."

Erica winced. "I figured it'd be something like that. He must be carrying round a truckload of guilt."

"I've been trying to help him with it. None of what happened is his fault - he couldn't have done anything to stop it even if he'd been able to. I don't think he's been able to accept that yet....it took him long enough to accept that I forgave him for it."

"He's lucky to have you."

"I thought _I_ was the lucky one. Whatever he's done or whatever they made him do, they couldn't change who he is inside."

"Or how he feels about you. So what happens now?"

Murrue smiled, gazing out over her ship. "We take things one day at a time. We have a second chance, so we won't waste it."

"As long as he knows how loyal a girl he has. No-one else could ever come close to him, could they?"

She blushed, shaking her head shyly. "I didn't know why - still don't. Maybe I never will."

Her friend ruffled her hair. "Sometimes you're never able to forget someone." She sat on the railing, smile fond. "I met Matt in high school when I was fifteen. We dated for a time and were happy, but he ended up going to college right at the northern end of the country. It was tough, but we managed to call and visit each other whenever we could, and when he graduated he came home.....we've been together ever since. Sometimes when a relationship's meant to be, it's meant to be."

The younger woman rubbed at her nose, still smiling. "You never dated anyone else?"

"Nope. I could have done, but there was no guy that could quite measure up to him. Isn't that how you feel about La Fllaga?"

Murrue nodded. _He was the only one I wanted. There were people here, including Commander Bartfeld, who I know were interested, but all I wanted was to see Mwu again. And now... _

"He's still an idiot."

She laughed. "He is. But I wouldn't swap him."

She found her idiot on the clifftop landing pad, sitting on a wing of the gold Murasame looking out to sea. With a certain amount of satisfaction she saw that in place of the worried look he'd worn in unguarded moments his expression was content, even happy. _That's what I wanted to see. I wanted him to smile, especially here. This is home.. _With a grin she tiptoed up behind him in an attempt to surprise him - only to squeal in mixed alarm and delight when he spun around and caught her, lifting her clear off the ground to sit on the plane beside him.

"Were you trying to scare me?"

"No.." she claimed, though knowing he'd see right through her. Mwu chuckled softly and leaned in to kiss her cheek, winding an arm around her waist to let her shuffle closer.

"Yes, you were. But that's okay."

"I could never sneak up on you before...I don't know why I thought I could now."

"No-one ever has been able to. And the better I know a person," he ruffled her hair, "the less chance they have."

"You'd be good at hide and seek, then."

He grinned. "Maybe I would be. We should try it sometime."

"Sounds like fun." Where they'd be able to play or when she had no idea, but the idea was certainly an interesting one. Swinging her legs idly she gazed up at the sky then at the horizon, wondering when the attack would come.

"They're on their way?"

"As soon as the call comes, _Archangel_ will launch."

He nodded. "Will anyone else?"

"More than likely. Amagi-san's already said his Murasame team will be going out, and since the Seirans are sympathetic to the Alliance they'll probably order everything to be launched."

"The Seirans? They're in charge?"

Murrue blinked. "You _know_ them?"

"The younger of them, yeah. He was on my ship for a while when we fought ZAFT. Pompous, self-absorbed little twerp."

She quirked a smile, shaking her head. "They bullied the others into signing a treaty with the Alliance, and the younger of them even tried to marry Cagalli-san. They're more interested in power than anything else."

"So that's why you took the missie with you - she wouldn't have been safe."

"That's right. If the wedding had gone ahead, Cagalli-san would probably have disappeared, from public life if not altogether."

"Poor kid. She must have worked her ass off since her dad died.."

"She did. We tried to help her, but we were limited as to how much we could do and stay safe ourselves. With part of the council's sympathies toward the Alliance, if they found out who and where we were.."

"Yeah." He smiled, pecking a kiss to her hair. "Still keeping your crew safe."

She pinked slightly but smiled back.

"Captain Ramius!"

Hearing the panicked voice they both looked up as a junior officer ran across the landing pad toward them. Seeing how close they were sitting the junior flushed and stared at his feet. "S-sorry to disturb you, ma'am. But they said to come tell you the radar's picked up a ZAFT fleet about twenty kilometres from Onogoro."

"I see. Thank you." Taking Mwu's hand she hopped off the Murasame's wing, glancing up at him with a small smile. "Are you going, then?"

"Yeah." He patted the borrowed helmet. "The Director said she'd sort me out with a pilot suit, but for now this'll do. I'll be out there keeping an eye on you."

Murrue huffed. "Keep an eye on _yourself. _Never mind me."

He grinned, leaning down to catch her lips in a kiss. "I'll see you soon."

"Be careful." Standing on her tiptoes she whispered in his ear. _"Love you." _He nodded at the words, confident grin becoming affectionate smile. He didn't need to say the words back - she knew how he felt.

_Please keep yourself safe.._

She was worried, that much was clear. Not for herself, but for her ship, her crew...and him. She'd once admitted before Jachin Due that she'd put herself and _Archangel_ in harm's way to protect him if he was in danger, which had both elated and scared the hell out of him at the same time. To love and be loved that much was something he'd never known before - he was still getting used to it. _Everything I did for her, no matter what happened to me as a result....it was all worth it, and I'd do it again if it meant she'd be safe. _Donning the helmet he hopped in the cockpit of the Murasame, looking up as _Archangel _sailed upwards from the underground dock, the white form against the sunlight forcing him to shield his eyes. With a smile he focused on the bridge, knowing she'd be looking back at him.

"No heroics, okay? We promised each other." Though promises, while not being broken could be bent - he wasn't going to sit back and let her be hurt just because she might be a bit mad at him. Whistling softly he closed the cockpit hatch and activated the mobile suit, strapping himself in before taking off to arc into the sky after his ship. One ship and a handful of mobile suits against an entire fleet, possibly, but they had more to lose than ZAFT had to gain. _Giving up's not my style, and it certainly isn't hers. Let's see how many of them we can get..._

* * *

The battle went just as he expected it to. Most of ZAFT's pilots fought like kids - which, depressingly, they probably were. _I doubt many of 'em are older than the Shinn kid....pilots just keep getting younger... _Sending the Murasame into a roll to avoid fire from the ground he picked off another couple of those Zaku suits, all the while keeping an eye on _Archangel_. So far _Minerva_ hadn't shown up but it was sure to be out here - so many enemy suits didn't just appear from nowhere. Shaking his head in annoyance Mwu pulled on the stick to loop around....then had to shield his eyes as a brilliant flash of gold almost blinded him. "The hell?"

It was a mobile suit, and an exotic-looking one at that. Built along the same lines as Strike - obviously Orb made - but a bright gold from head to foot. He'd never seen anything like it before. It was fighting rather clumsily against a flashy ZAFT suit, the pilot of which clearly had the advantage, and as he watched, the gold suit attempted to fire a rifle at it's opponent, only for the flashy suit to effortlessly slice it's arm off at the elbow with a boomerang-type thing, the arm and the rifle dropping to the sea below. _Nice suit, inexperienced pilot. If they carry on this way they're going to get themselves killed. _Kicking the engines to maximum he flew right for the flashy suit, hoping to distract it enough for the gold one to get away.....but he wouldn't be needed. A moment before he reached them the flashy suit threw another boomerang - only for it to be destroyed before it reached it's target. "Huh?"

Down from the sky came an unfamiliar (and ridiculously over-the-top) mobile suit, all blue, black and white with gold joints. It shot through the air straight toward the flashy suit, the gold one making an oddly reluctant retreat. This close, the suit became recognisable. "Freedom?"

_"Mwu-san, please take Cagalli somewhere safe!" _Kira's voice crackled over the intercom. _"Get her to the mainland so she can take command!"_

_"But Kira.." _the missie's voice broke in. _She's in that gold suit? What did they let her come out and fight for?_

_"But nothing!" _Kira replied shortly. _"You can't fight like that. Go with Mwu-san." _He fought off an attack from the ZAFT suit. _"Go on!"_

Again reluctantly, the missie backed off, heading for the mainland escorted by Mwu and another group of Murasames. "You okay?"

_"He doesn't think I can fight." _She sounded bitter and unhappy, which was understandable.

"He knows you can fight. But what you have to do right now is more important. Go down there and kick Seiran's ass."

_"Really?" _She sounded a little more cheerful at that idea and he laughed.

"I'd say he's earned it, wouldn't you? Go on now, go with these guys and I'll head back to _Archangel._"

_"Thank you, Commander."_

* * *

(Authoress hits fastforward button because she Fails Immensely at battle scenes D:)

* * *

The missiles were heading right for them. Well-aimed shots from the CIWS had taken out six of them with two remaining, but before she could give the order to destroy the others they suddenly detonated harmlessly in mid-air, the gold Murasame flying past a second later. His laughter echoed over the intercom, smiling face appearing on the viewer. _"Sorry. Was that showing off?"_

"You know it was," she replied, biting her lip to keep from smiling. "But thank you anyway." She'd caught glimpses of him every so often, the distinctive fighter weaving it's way through the battle dodging enemy fire and picking off suits with almost cavalier abandon. _The more he pilots, the more he becomes like his old self. I can't decide whether that's a good or bad thing... _

Mwu chuckled. _"No problem. Good to see I can still make the impossible possible."_

This time she really did smile. "Don't go getting ahead of yourself."

_"Spoilsport." _Sending the Murasame into a brief barrel roll he soared ahead toward _Minerva_, leaving her there shaking her head. _Idiot._

_"Captain!" _Murdoch's voice took her by surprise, she glancing down at the small viewer on her chair arm. _"Will you say something to that ZAFT kid? He insists on going out there!"_

"Athrun-kun? But he can't! He's.."

"Murrue-san," Lacus-san's soft voice broke in, and she turned to see the young woman standing beside Miriallia-san, "this is something Athrun needs to do for himself. Please let him go."

She sighed. "Alright.." Not an order she wanted to give. Athrun-kun might very well want to do this, to prove himself in some way, but he was also still quite badly injured - even a Coordinator didn't heal from such wounds so quickly. "Miriallia-san, please have sickbay on alert for when he comes back."

"Ma'am."

"Why is everyone so reckless?"

"Because they're guys?"

"Probably." Setting back in her chair she directed her gaze at _Minerva. _"Let's see if we can make them remember us."

"And stop the Commander from doing something dumb?"

"I don't think that's possible."

And a short while later she was proved correct. The Murasame circled _Archangel _before heading right for the ZAFT ship, firing right at a set of gun turrets and peeling off when they exploded. Murrue couldn't see his expression but she felt sure it was a satisfied smirk - or at least it would be until _Minerva_ fired back, hitting the fighter's wing and causing it to trail smoke.

"Murasame's been hit." Chandra reported unnecessarily, tone one of expectation rather than alarm. She nodded, looking up at the viewer when his face appeared, cocky grin now more rueful.

_"On my way back.."_

"Go ahead. I'll instruct Murdoch to prepare for an emergency landing."

_"Are you mad at me?"_

"Just land before they hit you again." His face fell but he nodded, the viewer going blank as the Murasame headed back to the ship. Harsh of her perhaps, but she _had_ told him to be careful. His showing off was exactly what she'd been afraid of when he'd asked to fight. _He wants to prove he's still as good a pilot as he was, but he doesn't need to take so many risks..._

But then again, he _was_ Mwu.

* * *

The sunset was as beautiful as he'd been told to expect. Leaning on the railing he gazed out to sea, smiling slightly as a small group of battered Murasames flew past. The battle had been tough on everyone - ZAFT hadn't given up easily and even now probably weren't far away - but everyone had fought their hardest. _They weren't fighting because they're shielding Djibril, they were fighting to protect their country. I wonder if the ZAFT guys were able to tell?_

"Murdoch said you were up here.." Her voice held none of the anger he'd expected, and when he glanced back over his shoulder he saw that she was smiling. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Didn't know if you'd be mad at me."

"I was at first." she admitted, crossing to his side. "You took a real risk."

"No more than usual."

"I know. That's why I was mad. I was hoping you wouldn't. I guess...it was selfish of me."

"Why was it?"

"Because you're _you_. How can I be mad at you for acting like yourself?"

"Not even if I deserve it?"

Murrue shook her head with another smile. "Not even then. I can try to be, but it never works."

"Oh?"

"Don't take advantage of it. It doesn't mean you can go ahead and be as reckless as you want."

"Just be more careful, right?"

"Right." She leaned against him with a small sigh, closing her eyes when he reached up to stroke her hair. "I'm glad that's over."

"For now, anyway. Was Djibril really in that shuttle, do you think?"

"Erica says it was the Seirans' private shuttle, so it's very likely he was. I'm glad he's gone."

"Yeah.."

Twilight was setting in, the fiery ball of the sun slowly disappearing over the horizon, and little by little stars started to appear, mirrored by lights on the main island and Onogoro. "It's pretty."

"Isn't it?" Moving to sit on the railing she pointed over to a patch of relative darkness on the main island lit only by globe-shaped white lamps. "That's the park. It's one of my favourite places. It has flower gardens, a lake, a cafe - perfect on a hot day." Her face was alight with a smile as she described it, and Mwu found himself smiling too.

"What else is there?"

"You can't see it from here, but in the middle of the city is a shop that sells the best ice-cream I ever tasted. And not far away from it - you can see the neon lights from here - is a cinema."

"Sounds nice. What about where you lived? Can we see it from here?"

She hesitated, then nodded, pointing back at Onogoro. Not far from the glittering edifice of Morgenroete, atop a cliff, was the rubble of what had clearly once been a very large house. Not exactly what he'd expected.

"Murrue, what happened?"

"Nothing." she replied not very convincingly.

He raised an eyebrow.

"ZAFT attacked," she murmured finally. "Well, we think it was - we don't actually have proof, but who else would try and kill Lacus-san?" She smiled a little at his probably stunned expression. "Yes. Bartfeld-san overheard two of them. They attacked in the middle of the night, but they weren't very quiet about it. I woke up when they broke a window."

"So the kid and the princess lived with you and Tiger?"

"Not at first. Lacus-san and Kira-kun had lived on one of the smaller islands with Malchio-sama - he's a priest - and a group of orphaned children he was taking care of. But when Junius Seven fell their house was washed away. So they came to live with us. How ZAFT knew Lacus-san was with us I don't know, but they came to kill her that night." Leaning against his shoulder again she sighed. "We fought them off okay, and when they came back in mobile suits Kira-kun went out in Freedom."

"No-one was hurt?"

"No, no-one was hurt. We were able to get to a bunker under the house, so no-one was inside when it was destroyed." She gave a little shrug. "Could have been worse."

"You could have been killed."

This time it was Murrue's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Thank you for pointing that out."

"And that's not what I meant."

"I know. You were just worried." She pecked a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you for that, too."

Mwu placed an arm around her shoulder. "Any time. Was the house nice?"

She nodded. "It was bigger than I'd have liked, but it was beautiful inside."

"We could rebuild it after the war.."

"No, that's okay. I'd like to live somewhere a bit less.....ostentatious."

"Somewhere we can live together?"

"Of course." She poked him in the midriff. "Who else would I live with?"

He grinned. "Tiger?"

"If you're going to say things like that, maybe I should," she replied huffily, half-turning away from him and pretending to scowl when he laughed. "Then the joke would be on you, wouldn't it?"

"Would it really?" he asked mildly, reaching out to brush fingertips against the back of her neck. Murrue murmured softly, cheeks flushing pale pink and he smiled, catching her around the waist to bring her closer. "So you'd prefer to live with Tiger than with me?"

"I.."

"Would you?"

"No," she grumbled. "And you know it, you pest."

"Does that mean I win?"

"Don't you always?"

He chuckled and hugged her tighter. Living with her sounded like great fun, as well as a great adventure. And maybe he wouldn't always win, but he had to take his victories where he could, right?

"Let's go try that bath again."

* * *

( Randomness? Maybe, but it's fun. Kinder bars, yo.

please read and review! )


	8. Chapter 8

"What are you dreaming about?"

Smiling he glanced up over his shoulder, seeing her leaning against the tree he sat under. She was wearing a pale green sundress she'd probably borrowed from the Director or one of her other friends at Morgenroete - he'd never seen her in civilian clothes before, and the effect was stunning. "You have great knees."

She laughed. "Do I? Thank you. What about the rest of me?"

He looked her up and down slowly, wiggling his eyebrows to make her laugh again. She knew what he thought of the rest of her - he'd told her several times. Holding out his hand he smiled as she came to sit beside him, head resting on his shoulder. It had been just over a week since the battle here, and though there had been news from space about skirmishes between the remnants of the Alliance and the ZAFT forces, there wasn't much going on. For now, anyway. This peace wouldn't last forever, so they'd enjoy it while they had the chance.

"You look good too."

Mwu grinned. "You don't often tell me that. Normally I get scolded for not being dressed properly."

"Because you normally aren't." she replied sweetly, before examining the borrowed T-shirt and khaki shorts. "But those suit you."

"Good to know. Are my knees okay?"

"Yes, your knees are fine." She tickled one, amber eyes alight with mischief when he squirmed. She knew he was ticklish there - in fact he was ticklish most places - and used it to her full advantage, climbing onto his lap to tickle his ribs until he collapsed in a fit of laughter. Murrue beamed in triumph, letting him go and leaning down to kiss the scar over his nose while he fought for breath.

"You're....mean.."

His captain grinned, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "And you enjoyed it. Don't deny it."

"Well, maybe.."

She kissed him again before settling down beside him, lying on the grass under the tree and wiggling her toes. "How'd you find this place?"

"The Director told me. She said it was one of your favourite places to sit and read, or think."

"She's right. She was the one who showed me it, actually. She brought me up here a few days after we'd gotten back here....said the view would help."

"And did it?" He didn't ask what it might have helped with - he thought he could guess.

"Yes," she answered quietly, eyes fixed on the leaves above her. "Yes, it did."

Hating to see her sad, especially because of him he rolled onto his side, nuzzling his face into her hair in an attempt to make her smile again, which to his relief, she did, reaching up to thread thin fingers through his own hair. "You do make me feel better."

"Glad to hear it." She'd told him that before. When she'd been sad, like then, or just tired and overworked he'd done his best to comfort and help her relax, and she'd always been grateful. _And she did the same for me. After Mendel she was right there beside me, listening to dumb stories of my dumb childhood and she never judged me. She did the one thing no-one else had ever been able to do before - she loved me for who I was.. _Ducking down he kissed her again before rolling onto his back and taking her with him. Murrue smiled and snuggled close.

"So what _were_ you dreaming about?"

"Staying here. I mean, I know ZAFT'll pop their heads back up sooner or later, but I'm kind of hoping it's later."

"Yes, I know. It's good to be home."

Home. He'd never really had a place to call home before, besides _Archangel._ But looking at this place, at how peaceful and beautiful it was and how Murrue obviously loved it... He smiled, looking up at the sky. Maybe this could be home for both of them. Even if.. "Bit hot, though.."

She grinned. "It's only January. It's going to get hotter."

"Aww..."

"Not used to it, huh?"

"Didn't have chance before, and I've been in some pretty cold places since then. The ship went to Orb and even close to Australia, but I was never allowed to go ashore."

"The heat here takes some getting used to, I'll admit, but now most places seem too cold to me. Berlin was freezing." She shivered at the mere mention of it and huddled closer to him, grumbling softly when he laughed. Berlin _had_ been cold, sure enough, but it hadn't even come close to the cold he'd known in winters while he was growing up. _I'd love to see her face if I took her there... _

"You like it here though, don't you?" she asked, propping herself up on an elbow. Her tone and expression were worried and he ruffled her hair gently.

"I like it here a lot. M'not quite used to all the people yet, but there's time for that."

She nodded thoughtfully before lying back down beside him, amber eyes faraway. There was clearly something on her mind but he didn't ask what it was, just preferring to be with her. The wind through the trees, her scent and soft breathing all blended together after a while, and he closed his eyes with a smile.

"Will you look at that.."

Athrun, puffing slightly as he limped up the slope to the clifftop sounded irritable. "Look at what?" Reaching his friend he peeked over his shoulder - and grinned. "So that's where they've been."

Kira nodded, motioning to his friend to speak quietly. Murrue-san and Mwu-san had disappeared earlier that afternoon, not telling anyone where they'd be, and it hadn't been until they'd asked Simmons-san that they'd found out they'd gone up to the clifftop a short distance from Morgenroete. And here they were. Fast asleep and smiling. Mwu-san was stretched out so much there was barely room for Murrue-san, but one arm was curled protectively around her waist - he was looking out for her even in sleep.

"Should we wake them?"

"I guess we should....people are looking for them. But I wish we didn't have to."

Athrun nodded. "They look really peaceful. Shall we say we didn't find them?"

"Yeah. Simmons-san knows where they are - if she needs Murrue-san for anything she'll be able to find her. But I'd say they've earned this rest.."

As quietly as they could the two boys left their friends to sleep in peace, whispering to themselves once they were out of earshot.

"The Commander seems different now. Quieter.....more serious."

Kira smiled a little. "I think in some way he _is_ different, but none of us will ever know just how much. What he's seen, what he's done.....the only person who knows about it is Murrue-san."

"How do you know he told her?"

"Because he loves her," was the simple answer. "And he trusts her."

Athrun smiled. "I see."

* * *

"Stop sulking."

"M'not sulking."

"Of course you are. You're sulking because I woke you up. How many times have I found you sleeping in strange places? Like a cat."

"Didn't mean to fall asleep."

Erica grinned. "I'm sure you didn't. That's why you both jumped a mile when I woke you. La Fllaga nearly fell off the cliff."

"If he had, you'd have followed him." Grumbling audibly she poked at the stack of papers that had built up on her desk during her absence. Work reports, maintenance logs...had it really only been a few months? "Aren't I meant to have assistants?"

"You do. And they've done it. All those papers need is your signature."

"And that's why you woke me up?"

"That and your boyfriend ran out on helping fix that Murasame. You can make as many excuses for him as you like, but if he's here then he's working. You'd let him get away with anything."

"Would not.."

"Of course you would." Her friend walked across to the tiny coffeemaker and peered into the reservoir to see what was there. "I know his type. Impossible to stay mad at."

Unable to deny this Murrue settled for signing her name to the mountain of documents, muttering several uncharitable things under her breath. Not that her friend wasn't right - no matter how angry Mwu made her, all he had to do was smile and she'd forgive him - but she was right so often it was annoying. "Does it matter?"

"Not at all. He's a good guy and besides, letting him get away with anything doesn't seem like a bad deal when he'd do anything for you."

She pinked. "You're exaggerating."

"Honey, the guy pretty much took a bullet for you. I wouldn't call that exaggerating."

"I'd do it for him."

Erica ruffled her hair. "I know you would. But I'd rather you didn't." Perching on the edge of the desk she picked up the photograph of the Morgenroete crew taken last year. "You've both done enough. ZAFT are lying low, it'll take a while for everything to get sorted out - why not make the most of it?"

"And do what?"

"Take a break. Remember that bath resort we all went to last year for Satsuki's birthday? Why not take him there?"

"Erica, be reasonable. We can't go off to a spa in the middle of a war."

"You're no fun. Alright then, you can both come stay with me. It'll do you good to get off the ship - I don't expect that boy's lived on land for years."

"You'd really be okay with that?"

The older woman smiled. "Course I would. You're friends. Come over tonight and bring him with you, and don't let him weasel out of it."

Mwu seemed surprised. "Stay with the Director?" His eyes shifted nervously from her to the ground to _Archangel _and back again before he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I.."

"Yes, she thought you'd hesitate, and she told me to make sure you didn't. We're going up there together later."

"Not to be rude to her, but I'd prefer to stay on the ship.."

"I know you would. You feel safe there, don't you?"

His eyebrows dipped in a slight frown. "Safe?"

"You're still worried about what other people think, aren't you? About how others see you?"

"It's tough not to be," he admitted softly. "If they knew what I'd done.."

"If they were your friends, they wouldn't judge you. I already told you that."

He smiled a little at that, leaning against the wall. "What about those that aren't my friends?"

"They have even less right to judge you." Standing on her tiptoes she kissed him lightly. "They don't know you."

"And you think the Director will be okay with letting me into her house?"

"She wouldn't have asked if she wasn't. She likes you. Honestly," she chided gently when he looked dubious. "She wants a chance to get to know you properly." Not to mention the fact that her rather nosy friend wanted to see how the two of them behaved around each other. _I won't give her the details so she wants to see for herself. But I won't tell him that - he's nervous enough as it is.... _"Don't worry."

"Not worried." he claimed unconvincingly, then he sighed. "I'll do it if you promise to get some rest and if she promises to let you. The Director seems to be an expert at getting more work out of people."

"She really isn't as bad as you make her out to be. For a while after I came back here I stayed with her and her family - she insisted - and it was a big help. She was there to listen when I needed to talk, a shoulder to lean on....I don't know what I'd have done without her."

Mwu didn't say anything for a time, then all of a sudden drew her into a hug so fierce she was lifted off her feet. Surprised, she glanced down at him, taking in the apologetic smile. "Mwu?"

"She's important to you."

"She's one of my best friends. Just like you are."

"Oh?" He grinned. "Is that all I am?"

Murrue leaned down and kissed the tip of his nose. "You know by now what you are to me."

He nodded, smile becoming gentle, and swung her around before setting her back down. He knew how much he meant to her - she'd told him on several occasions. _And I want him to mean more. I want us to have everything we couldn't before.. _

"Don't be mean to Erica."

"As long as _she's_ not mean to _me_."

"I'll make sure she isn't."

* * *

He was nervous, that was for sure. He hung back a little as Murrue entered the garden and swept Ryuta into a hug, standing just outside the gate as though he wasn't convinced he was welcome. He managed a small smile as he noticed Erica watching him, but made no move to come inside, instead staying half-hidden in the shadows of the trees. _He really is just as she described him.. _Not long after the end of the first war she'd asked her friend in a mixture of compassion and curiosity what the man had really been like. _And it turns out he's actually pretty complicated. I thought he was all dumb self-confidence like every other male pilot I ever met, but Murrue told me there was a lot more to him than that. And it seems as though she's right. _"You can come in, you know. The gate's not electrified."

He quirked another smile at that. "If you say so."

Murrue glanced up at the two of them then sighed, ruffling Ryuta's hair before walking over to the gate and taking La Fllaga's hand, tugging him into the garden with a faintly scolding air. He followed quite meekly, regarding her with a fond smile, and Erica found herself hiding a smile of her own. _She's the boss. Not that I thought she wouldn't be, but it's just funny to watch. _Once inside she looked up at him, hands on hips, and he held up his hands in surrender. "Alright, I get it.." It had obviously taken some persuasion to get him to come over, just as she'd anticipated. Whether it was him being uncomfortable around people in general or her in particular she wasn't sure, but he'd definitely been worried about something.

"He thinks people blame him for what he had to do. He definitely blames himself." Leaning back against the bench Murrue gazed into the night sky, thin fingers wrapped around the glass of wine she'd been given. La Fllaga was further down the garden, sitting on the wall and staring out to sea - he didn't seem to want to come closer. "He blames himself for a lot of things - for too many things. For leaving me alone even though he saved my life, for everything he did with the Alliance though it wasn't his fault. I've tried to help him and it does seem to be working, but..."

"He _wants_ to blame himself.."

"I think he does, yes."

"The idiot." Setting aside her own glass Erica walked down the garden toward the man. "All right you, quit sulking."

He raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Well, that's what you're doing, isn't it? Or are you hiding?"

"From what?"

"Where do I start? Us, yourself, everyone. You did bad stuff. Who hasn't? Yes, I know there's a difference," she said in exasperation as he opened his mouth to protest, "but at least other people blame themselves for something that's actually their fault. Yes, you left Murrue on her own for two years, but you also saved her life, not to mention the lives of everyone on _Archangel. _And whatever you did with the Alliance, you did to keep your crew safe. Bad things, yes, but for good reasons. So for God's sake, will you lighten _up_?"

La Fllaga blinked, momentarily floored, and Erica allowed herself a small internal moment of pride. Murrue clearly hadn't said anything like this, or if she had it had been gentler. _Maybe he needed someone to get mad at him to snap him out of it? _"Are we clear?"

He nodded silently.

"Good. Now go back up there and sit with your girlfriend before I push you off the wall."

And to her immense satisfaction, he did, lifting a clearly surprised Murrue up in his arms before settling on the bench with her on his lap. From where she stood Erica couldn't hear what was being said, but after a moment her friend nodded and smiled, cuddling into his embrace and closing her eyes when he brushed a kiss to her cheek.

_I think things will be okay now._

* * *

"I told you she liked you."

He poked his head out of the attic room's tiny bathroom, damp hair covered by a blue towel. "She's weird."

"I'll tell her you said that."

"What, so she can tell me off some more? No thanks." Still rubbing his hair dry he walked out to join her, sitting down heavily on the rather frilly bed, though he managed a smile when she rubbed his shoulders. "Wasn't expecting that.."

"I think she'd decided you'd been fussed over long enough." Those had been the woman's exact words, and Murrue thought she understood why. She and the others had shown Mwu kindness and patience, deciding to let him come to terms with things by himself, but Erica had always favoured a more direct approach. So she'd scolded him and surprisingly, it seemed to have worked quite well. He clearly hadn't expected a reaction like that, it leaving him quiet and perhaps a little shell-shocked for a while. "You understand now? Blaming yourself for things you can't control helps no-one, least of all yourself. Now," she cuffed him gently, "do you feel better?"

"Actually, I do. M'not sure why, but I do."

"Good." He _looked_ better, brighter and more sure of himself. Maybe someone understanding why he blamed himself wasn't what he'd needed, but someone _asking_ why he blamed himself. "I was going about it the wrong way."

"No, you weren't. I think I needed both, and I owe both you and the Director." Moving over he kissed her, winding arms around her waist and leaning her back until she landed with a thump and a giggle on the bed. "Not sure how I can pay her back, but I have plans for _you_."

"Oh?" Allowing herself a wicked smile she reached up to loop arms around his neck. "Would I like these plans?"

"Well.." he nuzzled more kisses to her neck and chest under her tank top, "we'll have to be really quiet since her kiddie's asleep in the room right below us, but I think we can still have fun. What do you think?"

"Mmm...that sounds pretty good.."

"I thought it might." Pulling up the blankets he covered her before disappearing underneath, a muffled chuckle escaping him when she gasped softly. Closing her eyes she smiled hazily, thin fingers twisted in the covers, but just before it all became too much he pulled away, causing a whimper of frustration and disappointment. Poking his head up he grinned, ducking down to kiss her lightly then tugged up the blankets to cover them both.

"You okay?"

"Mmm-hmm.." She was curled half-asleep in the crook of his arm and purred softly when he stroked her back, snuggling a little closer. They'd left the curtains partway open to let the moonlight bathe the room in silver....it was beautiful. If he'd stayed on _Archangel, _how much would he have missed?

"I've been stupid.."

"No you haven't," she murmured, rousing herself slightly to look up at him. "You were just nervous.."

"For no reason."

"There was a reason. You're not used to being somewhere like this - anyone would be nervous."

"I guess." Rolling onto his side he pillowed his head on her chest, smiling himself a little as she ran a hand through his hair. "Everyone seems so happy here.."

"Because it's what a real home feels like."

"Yeah.." Drowsy now he closed his eyes, absorbing the feel of the place. It felt...comforting. "Can we have one of those?"

She didn't answer right away, then he felt a soft kiss to the top of his head.

"Yes, we can."

* * *

( that was a bit blah lol. Brought to you by cookie dough and tea.

please read and review! )


	9. Chapter 9

"He looks a lot better."

"Doesn't he?" Brushing the soil from her knees she got to her feet, leaning on the low garden wall to watch him better. Mwu was standing a short distance away looking out to sea, straw hat pushed back over blonde curls, bare toes peeking out from the bottom of the too-large borrowed jeans he wore....his whole demeanour was relaxed, contented. "He loves it here."

"Glad to hear it. Did he have some weird idea that he didn't deserve it?"

"Partly, and also partly that this is the first time he's ever been anywhere like this. He didn't have a good time of it growing up.."

Erica nodded slowly. "I guessed that there might be some sort of story to it. Some things around the house or between Matt, Ryuta and I he looks at like he doesn't quite understand them."

"I want him to." Moving to sit on the wall Murrue looked up. "I want him to understand everything. To have everything he couldn't before."

"And you want to have it with him."

She pinked and smiled. _More than anything. _She'd tried not to think about it - being at war still meant it was tempting fate - but hope was a difficult feeling to ignore. They'd been here a couple of weeks now, and though she knew the war was far from over it was very easy to imagine what life might be like when they finally had peace. Her friends' home was beautiful, the garden just like the one she'd had herself back at the big house, and to top it off Mwu was happy here....it was perfect.

"I always wished I could," she admitted softly. "In odd moments I did use to picture what it might be like to live with him. I think he'll drive me crazy, but it'll be fun."

"Why him? Why pick him, I mean?"

"I think _he_ picked _me._ He always hung round, told me jokes and stories to make me laugh....he was there when I needed him. I think he'd decided quite early on that he was going to try his hardest to win me over, and he succeeded."

Erica grinned and ruffled her hair. "A bit too well. He's a good guy, though."

"Yes, he is." Hopping off the wall Murrue ran across to him, standing on her tiptoes to rest her chin on his shoulder. He chuckled softly, reaching up to tangle fingers in her hair. The nervous tension he'd displayed since practically the day she'd found him had all but vanished, leaving behind the Mwu she'd known so well. _And all he needed was someone to scold him. Not what I expected... _

"How's the sun?"

"Hot. But I think I'm getting used to it." Turning around he scooped her up in his arms, scarred face lit up in a grin. "Can we go for a swim later?"

"I thought you'd ask that." He loved the ocean, spending hours in or by the water, and was always reluctant to go back to the house. Sunbathing he had no patience for, as she'd expected - it involved being still, which he never did unless he was asleep. _Too much to do, too much to see...just like a child. _And like a child, he hated sunblock, but she'd insisted. His scars, especially the ones on his back were still quite nasty, the healed skin still tender, so it was either high factor sunblock or he wore a shirt. "More sandcastles?"

"Why not? Let's see if we can make a bigger one this time." Not long after coming here they'd taken Erica's son Ryuta to the beach, and the first thing he'd done was use his bucket and spade to build a sandcastle. And Mwu had been fascinated. _I never stopped to wonder whether anyone had taken him to the ocean when he'd been younger... _So she and the little boy had taught him, and his delighted smile at creating his own castle had brought a lump to her throat.

"You can put me down now."

"Nah. You're my prisoner."

"Is that right?" Absently she reached out and brushed his ear with her fingertips - then squeezed hard.

"Oww!" Startled by the pain he let go, she landing easily to look up at him with a sweet (if slightly wicked) smile. "The hell?"

From her vantage point in the flower bed Erica was watching with a grin. "Self-defence. Go on, Murrue, show him what you've got."

Mwu looked baffled, blue eyes flicking from the two women to himself and back again. "Are you sure? I mean, I.."

"What, you're worried about hurting her?"

"Well, yeah.." Embarrassed he looked away, cheeks faintly ruddy. Doing her best not to laugh she took his hand.....then before he knew what was happening she swiped his legs from under him so he landed flat on his back on the lawn. And he lay there for a good five minutes, blinking up at the sky in obvious bewilderment. She knelt down beside him and brushed a lock of hair from his face, ducking to kiss the tip of his nose.

"You okay?"

"I think so." Running a hand over his face he peeked up at her with a sheepish grin. "Had no idea you could do that."

"I practiced a lot. I didn't know whether anyone would come looking for us - I wanted to be sure I could defend myself."

"I'd say you were pretty good."

"Thank you." Holding out her hand she helped him to his feet, squealing with laughter when he caught her around the waist and slung her over his shoulder, taking off running down the garden with her and down the steps to the beach before he set her down carefully on the sand. Both were laughing, he so much so he had to sit down.

"That's not self-defence," she observed mildly once she'd gotten her breath back. "I'd call that cheating."

"Would you? _I_ wouldn't. Fun, yes, but not cheating." Which was true enough, so she smiled and sat down beside him, head on his shoulder when he wound an arm around her waist. Everything was quiet save for the waves on the shore and the sea birds - very relaxing, and it seemed as though her companion thought so too.

"Erica says Ryuta wants to play when he gets home from school." Despite his not being used to children he and the little boy had grown fond of each other, Ryuta following Mwu everywhere he went. Of course, Erica had teased her about it - sly comments about how good he was with kids and whether she'd noticed - but mostly Murrue thought her friend was glad of the break. _And so am I. The two of them together have enough energy to power the city for a month. _"He likes you."

"He's a good kid."

"Yes, he is. And you're good with him. Erica's quite relieved about it."

"Really?"

"Mmm-hmm. He has a lot of energy and usually never wants to go to bed. But after he's been out in the garden with you he's out like a light by nine-thirty. And so are you."

He raised an eyebrow. "You calling me a kid?"

"You _were_ playing with his toy cars."

A sheepish smile. "I....I never had anything like that when I was a kid. Mom used to bring me picture books and once a tub of those stacking brick things, the kind you can build houses and stuff out of, but I never had much else." Obviously embarrassed he rubbed the back of his neck, managing another smile when she kissed his cheek.

"When we come back here, you can have whatever you want. I'll buy you a train set."

Mwu laughed and hugged her close. "I always wanted one of those."

"I guessed as much. All boys are the same." She'd buy him one, as big a one as he wanted if it made him happy - he deserved it. "What else would you like?"

He beamed. "Don't need anything else. You, me, a place to live and an optional train set. It sounds perfect."

"Nothing else?"

"What else would we need?"

"It's not about what we need, really. It's about what you'd like. Besides the train set, is there anything else you wanted?"

That question brought quiet contemplation, he repeatedly taking a handful of white sand and watching it trickle through his fingers. "To know what kind of life I could have had," he replied finally. "If I hadn't been picked up by the Alliance, if I could have come back here with everyone else - if I didn't have to be a soldier."

Murrue nodded and squeezed his hand. "You can have that. We both can."

"You think we'll both be okay?" His words and tone were cautious, he obviously remembering she'd never liked to think about the future....but the last two years had changed her just as it had him. _I gave up too much. Hid myself away too much. Instead of dreaming too much I never dreamed enough... _

"We have to believe we will be."

"I'll make sure we will be. Both of us." He smiled, tipping his head back let the sun warm it. "I don't want to fight anymore."

"I know. Hopefully it'll all be over soon."

"Yeah.."

She ruffled his hair gently. "C'mon you. Let's go build that sandcastle."

* * *

He knew exactly where she was. Ryuta had managed to squirrel himself away pretty well, making finding him a challenge he'd rather enjoy, but Murrue.. Closing his eyes he turned around...then smiled, looking up. "I see you."

"Jerk." Swinging from the branch of the tree she'd been hiding in she landed easily beside him, amber eyes narrowed in a scowl. "That's four times now. Am I ever going to be able to hide from you?"

"Doubt it."

"I'm sure that's cheating."

He grinned, pulling her close for a hug. "I told you, didn't I? The better I know a person the less chance they have of sneaking up on or hiding from me. And who do I know better than you?"

She wrinkled her nose but didn't complain, and by the pink tint to her cheeks he guessed she was pleased. _It's true, though. She and I have a connection. It's different from the one I had with Klueze, or the one I seem to have with that ZAFT kid. Instead of a shiver down the spine, this is like a warm glow. It feels nice. _"You don't mind, do you?"

"No," she admitted. "I just wish it went both ways. Then I'd always know where you were."

"I won't go far, I promise. And I'll always come back."

"Alright. Just....don't take so long about it next time.."

Ducking down he kissed her forehead. It was a promise he might not be able to keep and both knew it, but they needed the reassurance. He'd left her alone for too long.

"Is Murrue-san 'it' now?" Ryuta stuck his head out of a nearby bush, expression hopeful, and the two adults smiled.

"I'd say she was," he replied. "Shall we go hide together and see if she can find us?"

She just shook her head, gesturing to where Director Simmons was standing in the open doorway of the house. "I think dinner might be ready.."

"Yay!" Ryuta took off running but Murrue was quicker, chasing after him and scooping him up in her arms before carrying him inside, the kitchen echoing with laughter. Mwu grinned, shaking his head and leaning against the wall. She was great with kids. When they'd first gotten back here they'd gone to a small house not far from the missie's place where Kira's mom was living along with that blind priest and a bunch of kids. They'd been happy to see the kid and the princess, but the little guys had all but thrown themselves at Murrue, all hopping up and down trying to be hugged and talking so fast it was hard to tell what they were trying to say. _The kid's mom says she's their favourite. Not just 'cause she reads them stories and plays with them and stuff, but 'cause something about her draws them to her. Maybe that's why I was drawn to her too..._

"You can tell she was a teacher."

He grinned and nodded, leaning against the door as the Director came to stand beside him. "She never really stopped being one. The kid and the missie say they relied on her a lot, and she always helped them out even when she had her own problems. And she teaches me something new every day."

"The alphabet?"

"No, smartass. Stuff about people, I guess. Back with the Alliance I only saw the bad side, how low people would go to get what they wanted or something to go their way. But Murrue.."

"Motivation by kindness." The older woman nodded herself, smiling fondly. "She's the same at Morgenroete."

"I don't doubt it." He peeked round the doorframe, watching his girlfriend help Ryuta wash his hands. Her crew probably loved her. "I'll make sure she's able to go back there."

"I appreciate it - as long as you're waiting for her when she goes home."

He smiled. "I'll do my best."

* * *

"She needs to get a bigger bathtub."

"Stop sulking."

He did a pretty good imitation of one of her 'huffs', slumping down beside the white enamel tub. Half-submerged in the hot water she opened one eye to regard him mildly, but said nothing. The attic room was only small, and it's bathroom smaller still, so it really was only to be expected it would have a bathtub just big enough for one. But that didn't mean he had to like it.

"When we get our own place we're getting one we can both fit in."

She smiled. "You've been spoiled by the bath on the ship."

"Probably I have." Swirling a hand in the soapy water he tickled her stomach, grinning when she giggled and squirmed. He'd been spoiled by a lot of things. Being home, being forgiven, being able to stay here.. "You don't think she minds I ate so much, do you?"

"No. I think she was pleased. I would be too. If people like the food you make it's a real compliment. And pasta's her specialty."

"I'm not surprised." He'd eaten at least three helps of the pasta and sauce and still had room for the instant whipped dessert. "I liked the chicken stew you made the best though."

"Flattery will get you everywhere."

"Glad to hear it. C'mon now, sit up and I'll wash your back."

To his amusement she practically fell asleep in the water, leaning into him as he moved the sponge in lazy circles over her back. She'd always loved attention there. She was so far gone she never even stirred when he rinsed the soap away and lifted her from the bath to wrap her in a warm fluffy towel. _She needs this. She's been working with the other Morgenroete guys for weeks trying to get _Archangel_ fixed.. _Settling her in bed he sat on the comforter, watching the stars through the open curtains with a definite sigh of contentment. It was nice to have a place to call home, nicer still when you had someone to share it with. And he wanted to feel that all the time.

_Yeah, I'll make sure to come back. I'll make sure we both do. We have too much here to give up._

* * *

( blah ending lol but fun anyway. Brought to you by Boursin, tea and lemon cake. Not at the same time. That would just be weird.

please read and review! )


	10. Chapter 10

"Do you really have to go?"

She smiled, kneeling down to ruffle the little boy's hair. "We have to make sure that the bad people don't hurt Orb anymore. But I promise you we'll come back just as soon as we can, okay?"

"Big brother too?" Ryuta looked sideways at Mwu, who smiled himself.

"You betcha. Back before you know it."

The boy nodded, but still looked sad, and Mwu knelt down to poke him in the nose. "C'mon now, kiddo. This is something that we have to do to make sure everyone here's going to be alright. So you be good for your mom, and I'll be good for Murrue, and we'll race cars again when I get back."

Ryuta managed a watery smile, then, to the man's obvious surprise, climbed onto his lap and hugged him. Mwu glanced sideways at Murrue then up at Erica, then smiled, returning the hug. "It's okay. Hey, I bet you we still have five minutes left. Want to go hunt for seashells?"

Ryuta nodded, and the big boy and the little boy ran off down the steps to the beach. Brushing the grass from her stockings Murrue got up, she and Erica watching them play. She'd known it would be like this - the two of them had gotten close in the weeks they'd been here. The setting, the little boy's friendship, the chance to get away from fighting for a while - it had all been just what Mwu needed.

"Lonely kid.."

"Ryuta? But I thought.."

Erica shook her head and smiled. "Not him, La Fllaga. The games they've played, the stuff they've played with - he had no idea what they were until Ryuta told him. What the hell kind of time did he have growing up?"

"Lonely, like you said. But this has really helped. I can't thank you enough for letting us stay here."

"What are friends for? It was nice having the two of you around. Though you can tell flyboy over there that he caused me three times as much laundry with his jeans full of mud and grass stains."

Murrue grinned. "Boys will be boys."

"Yes, they will. And I have all that to look forward to. At least your boy's growing down instead of up."

She walked to the low garden wall and looked out onto the beach. Mwu was walking across the sand (having somehow managed to keep his uniform clean) with Ryuta riding on his shoulders, the little boy's pockets bulging with shells and pebbles. "He doesn't want to go. I mean, he knows we have to, but.."

"You think this has been good for him?"

"I don't think we could have found anything better."

"Or for you. You've been working really hard - this rest has done you good."

"It doesn't get easier from now on."

"Official part of the military now, huh? At least I won't have to try and repair _Archangel_ in secret. You guys getting promoted?"

"Cagalli-san said so. It's not necessary, but she can be pretty stubborn."

Erica grinned. "Yes, she can. Don't knock it, though. You deserve a promotion. Where are you headed?"

"Copernicus. It's neutral ground, so ZAFT can't do anything if they find us there, and we can use it as a base for fact-finding missions."

"Copernicus is a nice place, though. You could go on dates."

"I don't think we'll have time for dates."

"I bet you will. And I bet he'd take you out to dinner. The dates you've had here haven't been so bad, have they?"

Murrue pinked but smiled. As Mwu had gotten used to life here he'd gained confidence, and had taken her out into the city a few times, the two of them having dinner together or just going for drinks, and they'd often got back home pretty late (luckily Erica had given them a spare key).

"No, I enjoyed them. But I never thought I'd be able to date him. It seems.....kind of redundant."

"Honey, having a guy take you out for dinner is never redundant. Let him spoil you if he wants to."

"Alright.." Glancing at her watch she sighed, raising her voice to call out to the man on the beach. "Mwu! It's time to go!"

Both boys' faces fell. "Already?"

"Sorry, but we have to be on base in an hour.."

Reluctantly Mwu lifted Ryuta from his shoulders and set him down carefully. "Look after your mom, okay? I'll bring you a present from Copernicus."

"Promise you'll come back?"

The man sighed, crouching down to look the boy in the face. "I promise I'll do my best to. But I have to take care of Murrue and my friends. Okay?"

The little boy nodded, reaching up to scrub at his face. "Okay."

Mwu smiled and ruffled his hair. "Thanks, buddy."

It was hard to leave this place. At first he hadn't felt comfortable here - hadn't felt like he belonged anywhere except the ship - but the Director and her husband had made him welcome. He'd found a friend in the little kid, spent hours in the garden or on the beach, and he'd even been able to take Murrue out on dates....something he'd always wanted to do. Taking his girlfriend's hand he turned to the Director with a grateful smile. "Thanks a lot for letting me stay here."

"It's no problem. You make sure you look out for Murrue."

He grinned. "You know I will."

Murrue herself just grumbled softly, but said nothing.

"And La Fllaga?"

"Yes?"

The Director smiled. "You look out for _yourself_ as well."

"I will. See you when we get back." Squeezing Murrue's hand he gave the family a last wave before the two of them turned to walk away. It probably wasn't the done thing to arrive on a military base holding hands with your captain, but he'd never much cared what anyone else thought.

"You been promoted?"

Murrue made a face. "Cagalli-san said so. She said there wasn't enough time for a proper ceremony, so.." She dug in her jacket pocket and tugged out an envelope. "One of her aides brought this over yesterday." Inside the envelope were two rank badges, orange and yellow like his own.

"Colonel, huh?" He grinned. "Now we match. But you should have gotten a higher rank."

"What for?"

"Cause you deserve it."

She shook her head. "I didn't do anything."

"You and the others saved this country. And the missie. I'd say a promotion was the least you deserved. What about the kid?"

"General."

Mwu blinked. "You're _kidding_. What the hell did he do to get a rank like that?"

"Cagalli-san trusts him more than anyone." She squeezed his hand with a sweet smile. "If _I_ was in charge, I'd make _you_ a general."

He chuckled. "I don't think I'd make a very good one. But _you_.."

Murrue laughed too, holding up her free hand. "No more, please. Being captain is enough. Too much, sometimes."

"What would you like to be instead, then?"

"What I'm meant to be. An engineer. Give me a ship to repair and I'm happy."

"Anything else? That'd make you happy, I mean."

She just smiled again, though this time a little shyly. "We'll see how things go."

"Fair enough." He thought he knew, or at least could guess, what would make her happy, and while it was something he hadn't been interested in before, he had to admit he'd been giving it some thought in the last few weeks. _She and I could make a go of it together. Find a place and settle down, see where life takes us.. _But for the meantime.. "Murrue?"

"Hmm?"

"Do we have time for ice-cream?"

She rolled her eyes but did smile, hugging his arm. "A cone if we make it quick. On base in 45 minutes."

"You're wonderful."

"I try."

They were a little late, but luckily no-one seemed to mind. He'd expected Murrue to let go of his hand once they entered the hangar where _Archangel_ and their crew waited but instead she held on tightly, flashing him a happy though slightly nervous smile. She'd always tried to hide their relationship before, perhaps not wanting to tempt fate, but today it seemed as though things were different. As though _she_ was different. Not really understanding but pleased anyway, Mwu glanced around the cavernous space. _Archangel_ waited amidst a web of wires and docking clamps, technicians still swarming all over it, and a collection of mobile suits were being loaded on board, including the new fancy Freedom, the Athrun kid's suit, a group of Murasames, and, to his surprise, that shiny gold suit from before.

"The missie's coming with us?"

She frowned. "I doubt it."

"Can I go see?"

"Sure. Be back in ten minutes, though."

He grinned and stole a kiss. "Yes, ma'am." Slipping away, stifling a laugh at her audible 'huff' of annoyance, he made his way over to the group of suits. The gold one had been fixed up, armour shining bright enough to blind under the hangar lights, and he smiled a little.

"Commander?" The voice was familiar, but not one he'd expected to hear somewhere like this. Standing a little way away, leaning on the railing, was the missie.

"Hey there. You coming with us?"

She shook her head. "I have to stay here. I wanted to talk to you, though." She gestured to the gold suit. "I was wondering if you wanted to pilot Akatsuki."

"Akatsuki? That's it's name?"

The missie nodded. "I can't go - I'm too out of practice to use it properly even if I could go with you. It'd be better for you than the Murasame."

"Are you really sure about this?"

The missie smiled. "It's better that it's used by someone. Plus it'd suit you better than anyone else, even me."

"How do you mean?"

She handed him a letter. "Erica-san told me to give you this."

_Hey, La Fllaga;_

_Since you're reading this, Cagalli-sama probably already told you about Akatsuki. We both decided that you should be the one to use it, as your recklessness plus a Murasame means you'll likely get shot down. And you can stop pulling that face, you know I'm right._

_It has the Natural OS, built along the same lines as Strike, so you should find it pretty familiar, but it comes with a couple of other features that I think you'll like. The Shiranui flight pack has funnels, which work the same way as the gunbarrels on your old Zero except they're free-flying, not wire-guided. It'll take some pretty sharp reflexes to operate them properly, but Murrue seems to think you're up to it. The other perk is the gold mirror coating, which I'm sure you've noticed._

"No kidding."

_It's beam-reflective, a bit like Strike's shield was - it should handle rifle shots pretty well. But it hasn't been tested against positron cannons, and I do NOT want you to try it. You're only borrowing Akatsuki, so if you get it and/or yourself broken in any way, you're in big trouble. Understand?_

He grinned ruefully. "Perfectly."

"She was worried about you."

"She's worried about Murrue. They're best friends....she doesn't want to see her sad anymore."

The girl glanced back at Akatsuki. "She likes you both. She was the one who suggested you take Akatsuki."

"Oh." Unexpected, but kind of nice. "I'll have to thank her. Thank you too."

"You're welcome. Make sure you all come back safe."

"It's a deal."

* * *

He was dreaming. Standing at the window of their room (her room they now shared) he was just staring out at the stars, that little half-smile on his face and she smiled herself, kicking off from the deck and floating over to join him. As always he knew she was there and turned to catch her, nuzzling his face into her hair with a contented sigh. "It's nice to be back."

"On the ship, or in space?"

"Both," he admitted. "But here the most. This is the first place that ever felt like home."

"It is home, for both of us. Until we find a new one."

"A new home, huh? Where would that be?"

She smiled, leaning back against him. "Where would you like it to be?"

"Somewhere like the Director's place. Where we can see the ocean and stuff. Only not all frilly."

Murrue giggled. True enough, her friend was fond (perhaps over-fond) of ruffles and flounces, and the spare bed in the attic room had been piled so high with cushions Mwu had fallen out of bed more than once. "No. I don't like frilly things."

"Not a frilly wedding dress, then?"

Unsure of where he was taking this, but her heartbeat picking up all the same, she answered as nonchalantly as she could. "I'd prefer something simpler."

"You would, huh? Maybe we can find something at Copernicus."

"What exactly are you asking me?"

Mwu grinned. "Nothing."

She raised an eyebrow and he chuckled, cuddling close to press kisses to her neck and cheek. "What?"

"Stop being a jerk and spit it out."

"I will. When I deserve you."

"Don't be silly."

"M'not. I really don't deserve you. I just love you."

"And that's all I need."

He sighed. "You're going to keep asking me."

"Until _you_ ask _me_."

"You're sure that's what you want?"

Murrue rolled her eyes. "Been waiting for two years."

"Think we'd be okay? That we'd make a good team?"

She threaded her fingers through his. "We already do."

Another deep breath, then another kiss to her cheek. "Marry me, then?"

"Yes."

* * *

( mwahahahahahahahahaha sugar at past 11pm

please read and review! )


	11. Chapter 11

She was still asleep, curled so far into the blankets that only a few tufts of auburn hair were visible and never stirred when he brushed a kiss to the back of her neck, but when he attempted to unwind his arm from around her waist she grumbled, snuggling back into his embrace. Chuckling softly he lay back down, nuzzling his face into her hair. "C'mon, honey. I have to go on shift.."

"Nn."

He grinned. "Are you even asleep?"  
"Mmm.."

"I have to get in the shower."

"Stay here." She shuffled around in his arms and placed her chin on his chest, amber eyes still sleepy. "Don't wanna get up yet.."

"We do kind of have to go on duty, sweetheart. I'd love to stay here for longer - I'd stay here with you all day if I could - but I think people might get mad at us."

"M'the captain. If I said you were helping me no-one would say anything.."

"Aren't we docking at Copernicus today? And meeting up with the captains from the rest of the fleet? Archangel's the newest addition - I think they're going to notice if we don't show up.."

Murrue sighed, flopping down to rest her head on his chest and he smiled, ruffling her hair affectionately....until something made him frown. "Look at me a moment."

"Hmm?"

"Just for a moment." Clearly confused she nonetheless did as he asked, and he reached out to place a hand on her forehead. "I thought it was weird that you wanted to stay in bed.."

"S'weird?"

He smiled despite his concerns. "For you, it is. But you're sick."

"Not sick. Just tired."

"Murrue, you're running a fever. You're sick."

She shook her head. "I've been working too hard, that's all. I'll be fine." Stretching out with another little sigh she made as if to get up, grumbling softly when it apparently made her dizzy. "Help me up?"

"Until I said you were sick you were happy to stay here. What changed, exactly?"

"I hate being ill."

"Who doesn't? But sensible people tend to stay in bed and behave themselves when they're ill. Is there any chance of that happening?"

Murrue shook her head.

"Didn't think so." He sighed himself, lying back on the pillows. "What am I going to do with you?"

She smiled and leaned down to kiss him gently. "Don't tell anyone I'm sick, okay? After I've met the other captains I'll come right back here. Promise."

"Really?"

"You sound sceptical."

He reached up to tangle fingers in her hair. "Cause I know you pretty well by now. You'd rather do anything than relax."

Another little smile. "Right now, relaxing sounds really tempting. And I will after we've met the others."

"Why after?"

She pinked. "I'd rather you were here with me."

Mwu chuckled. "What, so we can slack off together? Or do you just want someone to hug?"

"Both."

"Fair enough." Managing to wriggle out from underneath her he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the tiny bathroom. In the light it was easy to see how ill she was, face paper white under the fevered flush. She managed a smile.

"How bad?"

"Not that bad."

She shook her head. "You know I can always tell when you're trying to hide things from me."

"I know."

"So how bad? Will make-up hide it?"

"As long as people don't look too close, it should. But after we're done out there, we come back here and you get some more sleep. Okay?"

Murrue kissed the tip of his nose. "I promised, didn't I?"

* * *

It didn't make him feel any better about it. She stood there on the bridge between him and Kira, smiling cheerfully and acting as though nothing were wrong. She shook hands and chatted amiably with the other captains, laughing at jokes and expertly fielding questions about where she and the ship had come from - to outsiders she might look a little tired, but none would have guessed she was ill. One of the other captains, to his (hidden) irritation seemed to have taken quite a shine to her, constantly staring and winking at her. Murrue gave no outward sign that this bothered her however, being politeness itself to the other man. Only the briefest flicker of her eyes back to him betrayed any sign of discomfort.

"Is Murrue-san alright?" Beside him, Kira had clearly noticed something amiss.

"No," he whispered back. "Running a fever."

The kid nodded. "I'll sort this out." Stepping forward he introduced himself, the other captains reacting with surprise as they realised such a young man was a general, then with respect. The kid didn't give them any orders, didn't throw his weight around, and they obviously appreciated that, giving Murrue the much needed opportunity to slip away. She was definitely flagging, the fever and violet shadows under her eyes visible even under the carefully applied make-up, and once they were out in the empty corridor she turned to him and held out her arms.

"C'mon, princess.." Lifting her up he was surprised at how light she was, and how cold. His own warmth seemed to provide comfort, she snuggling close with a contented sigh, and before he reached the elevator at the end of the corridor she was asleep. As carefully as he could he carried her back to their room, settling her in bed and covering her with several blankets after removing her boots. She never stirred once.

"I could have handled it," he scolded gently, brushing back sweat-soaked hair from her forehead. "You don't have to do everything yourself."

_Then again, that's what makes her who she is. A stubborn workaholic, and the best person I've ever met._ Moving to the bathroom he ran cold water into a bowl, taking it and a washcloth back to her bedside. He had a nasty suspicion that her fever had gotten worse, one that was confirmed when the heat from her skin almost burned his fingers.

"Why'd you have to push yourself like that? If something happened to you, what would I do?" He'd never been able to tell her just how much she meant to him....she was the closest thing to family he had. _It's why I hoped she'd agree to marry me. I don't deserve to have someone like her, but I think that we could be happy. Even if she can't learn to take it easy..._ Dipping the cloth into the cool water he placed it on her forehead, smiling a little when her pained expression immediately disappeared. "There we go.."

He stayed with her like he'd said, resoaking the cloth when it was necessary. He'd made a promise, both to the Director and to himself, to take care of her. He'd look after her today and whenever she got sick, keep her from working too hard (risking being either scolded soundly or completely ignored for at least an hour) and in return he got to spend a forever with her. No matter how you looked at it, that was a good deal._ And maybe she can take care of me, too.. _

"Mmmm..."

How long had she been asleep? She vaguely remembered talking to the other Orb captains - and being leered at - and being in the corridor, but after that, nothing. She'd known on waking up that morning that she'd been ill but had done her best to hide it, not just because she hated having to stay in bed but because she hated to see him worry. Glancing to the side she smiled a little. He was sleeping, soft breaths tickling her cheek, and he twitched scarred nose when she brushed a stray lock of hair from his face.

"Thank you." She meant it for more than just today, and knew he understood. The things he'd done for her she'd never be able to repay him for, but she wanted to try. And the best way to do that, she figured, was to give him the kind of life he'd never been able to have. _He had a taste of it back at Erica's and he loved it - I've never seen him so settled. So that's what we'll do. _Settling herself closer she kissed him, her smile growing when he stirred, blue eyes blinking a few times before he focused on her. "Hey.."

He smiled himself rather drowsily. "Hi. Feeling better?"

"Much. Thank you."

Mwu inclined his head to rest it against hers. "You're still kinda warm. Best you stay here for today."

"Will you stay here with me?"

"Course I will." Winding an arm around her waist he rolled onto his back, taking her with him. "Someone has to keep an eye on you."

She grinned, reaching up to ruffle his hair. "You make me sound like a kid."

"You act like one sometimes."

"No I don't."

He chuckled. "You do. But that's alright. Wouldn't have it any other way."

Murrue made a face but didn't complain further, instead settling down to pillow her head on his chest. She'd loved just lying with him and listening to his breathing and heartbeat - it had always soothed her knowing that someone was here with her. Comforting. Closing her eyes she idly traced a pattern on his stomach, lips curving in a smile when she felt him shiver.

"You're still ticklish.."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"It's nice knowing some things are still the same.."

He murmured a reply, one hand stroking her hair. Right now it felt like it was just the two of them in the world, with no crew waiting, no war left to fight....it was all she'd ever wanted.

"You think the Director will mind us getting married?"

She poked his midriff. "Mind? She'll be thrilled. The only reason she might be annoyed is 'cause you asked when she wasn't around."

"I'd decided already that if I got brave enough to ask you I'd ask with no-one around. Didn't really want to share the moment with anyone.."

"That's very sweet of you."

He grinned rather shyly, rubbing his nose. "I think it'll be fun."

"I think so too."

"Can we go out tomorrow? To Copernicus? I'd like to buy you a ring."

She smiled. "Don't need one. Just knowing I was asked is enough."

"Not for me, though. Please? We can make a day of it."

"You're asking me out? We didn't date enough back in Orb?"

He laughed. "How could I ever date you enough? How much did we miss out on?"

_He has a point. I'd have given anything for the chance to date him before....why am I turning him down now?_ "All right. No ring, though."

Mwu sighed but nodded, infectious grin quickly returning. "Ma'am."

* * *

"Why do I let you talk me into these things?"

"C'mon, crosspatch. It's beautiful out here."

"But it's not real.." True, it was pretty enough, sun shining from a cloudless blue sky - but the sky was make-believe. Not even the wind was enough to make her forget that there was a roof over their heads. "Feels weird."

"Does it?" He looked up, the blue of the artificial sky reflecting in his eyes. "It doesn't feel like outdoors, but it isn't bad. It reminds me of Orb. Peaceful."

"Yeah.." It did feel a little like Orb. In Orb with a roof over their heads. With a smile she leaned into him, threading fingers through his. "Where to first?"

"Don't know. Let's just walk and see what we find."

"Sounds like a good plan."

And as they walked, her opinion of the place began to change. With each step it became easier to forget they were in a glass-domed building - it felt more and more as though they were in a real city. Which of course, they were. Taking a shortcut through a park they sat together on a bench, his arm wound around her shoulders. He looked happy, tanned face wearing a content smile, and chuckled when she kissed his cheek. "What was that for?"

"I need a reason?"

"No, I just.." He grinned. "You're really affectionate these days. Not that I mind it - it's cute, but I just wondered what I'd done to deserve it."

"I just feel good, that's all."

"I'm glad to hear it. Is it 'cause of me?"

Murrue smiled. "You'd love it if it was."

"Course I would. Is it?"

"Maybe."

"Good." Reaching out he tugged her close to sit on his lap, resting his chin on her shoulder as they gazed out over the vista of the landscaped park and city. "Pretty good date so far?"

"Mmm-hmm. Though I'm dating my fiance."

"Nothing wrong with that. We can date even when we're married."

"Would it really be 'dating' then?"

"We can call it whatever we want."

"That's true." Unconventional, but then again so was he. Stretching out with a little sigh she peeked back up at him. "So now what?"

"Today, or in general?"

"Both."

He kissed the tip of her nose. "In general, we do our best to get through this and go home so we can have what we should have had two years ago. Today, we enjoy ourselves. I think we should get ice-cream."

"Before lunch?"

"Live dangerously." Helping to her feet he took her hand. "A sundae big enough for three people. With syrup and sprinkles."

"Only if we can look at the flowers first."

She looked much better. The fresh air and sunlight had brought the colour back to her face she'd lost since leaving Earth and getting sick - being on board ship did her no good at all. Kneeling down beside one of the flowerbeds she closed her eyes as she breathed in the scent of the blossoms and he grinned fondly. He'd known she loved flowers - she'd spoken about the garden she and her mother had created in California, and the Director had told him that she'd helped out with her garden too.

"You want one of these?"

She nodded without opening her eyes.

"Then we'll have one. Whatever kind of place we get, we'll get one with the biggest garden we can." Hearing a buzzing by his ear he froze, seeing black and yellow out of the corner of his eye. "Even if it has bugs."

"Hmm?"

"There's a bug in my ear."

Murrue glanced up, then smiled. "It's only a bee. It won't hurt you. Just keep still."

Squeezing his eyes closed he did as he was told, breathing a sigh of relief when the buzzing gradually faded to be replaced by the sound of someone trying very hard not to laugh.

"You're mean.."

"Sorry." She took one of his hands between both of hers and kissed it gently. "I didn't mean it. Shall we go and find some ice-cream now?"

"When I've gotten you a ring."

"Mwu.."

"No complaining. You're getting one."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, if you insist. You choose it, and I don't want anything involving a diamond, or anything expensive. Just something simple."

"You're going to be a really bossy wife."

"Yep."

* * *

She was watching him. She'd been watching him all afternoon. They'd found an ice-cream parlour (with soda fountain stools and silvered glasses and everything) and had bought the biggest sundae they made, with a scoop of every flavour drenched in syrup and chocolate sprinkles. And they'd managed to eat it. Murrue had evidently enjoyed it - she'd actually scolded him for eating more of it than she had. _Her appetite isn't usually that big, but it's a nice change._ Whistling softly as they walked back to the park he hid a smile at her expression. She'd waited outside when he'd gone into the large jewellery store to pick the ring, and had feigned indifference when he'd reappeared, but he knew very well that she badly wanted to know what he'd gotten.

"Want to look at the flowers again? See if you can see any you want for your garden?"

"Sure." She barely glanced at them though, instead sitting on the grass and staring out over the park. Trying hard not to laugh Mwu laid down beside her.

"How come you're grumpy now? You were all happy earlier."

"M'not grumpy."

"Sure you are. Am I bad company?"

"Of course not."

"Well, you _have_ been watching me.."

She screwed up her nose. "You know why."

"I thought you didn't want one."

"Well....I'd like to see it.."

"If milady insists." Digging in his pocket he tugged out the velvet box he'd bought earlier, flicking open the catch with his thumb. "What do you think?"

For a moment she was quiet, taking the box from him and studying the item of jewellery. He watched her himself, and wasn't surprised when a single tear escaped to roll down her cheek. _I knew. I knew she wanted a fuss, wanted an engagement ring.....wanted to know she was loved._ "Would you like me to give it to you properly?"

Murrue nodded silently.

"Alright then." Sitting up he carefully took the ring from the box and slid it onto her left hand. He'd taken his time choosing one that was just right, a silver band topped with a tiny amber, and as he'd hoped, she liked it.

"Thank you." Moving close she hugged him tightly, her tears soaking into his shirt. And he just held her. _Thank me? I'm the one who should be thanking her. I had nothing before I met her - she's given me a life._

"Any time."

* * *

( whee lol. Murrue's reaction to Copernicus borrowed from Alto in Macross Frontier, Copernicus loosely based on Von Braun from Stardust Memory.

please read and review! )


	12. Chapter 12

_"So how's Copernicus? Did he take you out?"_

She grinned, hiding her left hand under the desk. "He sure did. We've been out a couple of times - a couple of days ago we went to see a movie. I can't remember the last time I went on a movie date, and he couldn't even remember the last time he went to the movies, so it was fun for both of us."

_"Very good. Cuddling in the back row?"_

"Erica, we're soldiers. We have to look dignified."

_"Rubbish. I know you, and I know that boy. Who started it, him or you?"_

She sighed, running a hand through auburn hair. "He always starts it."

_"Like you'd mind. I bet you didn't push him away."_

Murrue pinked. "He can be very....persuasive."

_"I'll just bet. So what, kisses? Cuddles? All of the above?"_

She folded her arms and looked prim, ignoring her friend's snort of amusement. _"Now that alone tells me everything I want to know. Did you see the end of the film?"_

"No..."

Erica cackled. _"No, I'll bet you didn't. Leave halfway through? Three-quarters?"_

"About two thirds."

_"Hell of an intermission."_

She buried her face in her hands, convinced she must be beetroot by now. "Why do I end up telling you these things?"

_"What are friends for? But it's good you have the chance to act like a regular couple. Make the most of it. Find a night when neither of you are on duty and get some wine in. You never know, he might ask you something important."_

Murrue smiled, holding up her left hand. "Something like that? He asked me on our way to the moon, and bought me this the first time we went out to Copernicus together."

_"Doesn't waste any time, does he?" _Erica remarked sourly. _"He's going to get it when you get home."_

"Yes, I thought you'd say that. Don't be too hard on him, though - he was nervous enough about asking. You can throw a party when we get back....well, _if_.."

_"Hold it right there, miss. You're coming back. You both are. Understand?"_

"So we can't elope?"

Her friend laughed. _"I'd hunt you down."_

"No doubt."

_"Where is he, anyway? Sleeping? It must be pretty late by now.."_

"It is late. But he's not sleeping - he isn't even here." Huffing softly she poked at the desk, good mood evaporated. "He's with Akatsuki."

Erica smiled gently. _"Then go find him. If you want to be with him, go be with him. Don't wait."_

"The voice of reason like always."

_"You know it, honey. Go find him, and I'll talk to you later."_

Managing a smile of her own Murrue waved to her friend, flicking off the computer and slumping back in the chair. In truth she found it hard to be mad, either at Erica or Mwu. Her friend was like always, and Mwu was just... She smiled again a little, glancing at the engagement ring. Mwu was Mwu, and so much like he used to be it was as though he'd never been away. _And if it was two years ago, I'd go find him, wouldn't I?_

The hangar bay was relatively quiet. She could see Murdoch at his workstation, music issuing quietly from a radio on the desk, but no-one else was around. Nodding to herself she made her way to Akatsuki's dock, glancing up for any sign of her fiance. The mobile suit seemed to stare back, gold face impassive, and she smiled, climbing up the steps in the rigging to reach Akatsuki's chest. The cockpit hatch was open, and she climbed across to peek inside. "Mwu? Are you there?"

Silence. No, not silence. Faint snoring, but not from the cockpit. Confused, Murrue climbed up a little further - and grinned. He was there, stretched out on the maintenance platform just under the suit's chin. Fast asleep.

"I should have guessed, shouldn't I? That you wouldn't have forgotten?" Tiptoeing across to sit beside him she watched him for a while, stifling a giggle when his nose twitched. "I should give you more credit."

"You already give me more than I deserve." He peeked up at her through half-open eyes. "M'sorry. Didn't mean to sleep so long."

"Did I wake you?"

He smiled. "You did. But not 'cause I heard you. I knew you were there." He tapped his forehead.

"I can never sneak up on you, can I?"

Shuffling close he rested his head on her lap. "I can always tell when you're sneaking up on me. Until just a while ago I was only able to sense Klueze and my dad. And Kira sometimes. But now I can sort of sense you too." He reached up to brush a hand over her cheek. "It feels all warm."

Murrue smiled. "I like it. So if I ever got lost, you'd be able to find me?"

"What makes you think I'd let you out of my sight long enough?"

She ducked down to kiss the tip of his nose. "Everyone gets lost sometimes."

"True." His gaze was faraway, pensive - perhaps he was thinking of the time _he'd_ been lost. "Yeah, I'd come find you. You found me."

"We found each other." she corrected gently. Mwu smiled at that, taking one of her hands in his and pressing kisses to the fingertips.

"I promise I won't get lost again."

"Next time, we can get lost together. Maybe on our way home now that Erica knows we're engaged."

He groaned softly. "Damn woman'll be waiting at the dock with a baseball bat."

"I asked her not to be too hard on you."

"That doesn't mean she won't be. Can we elope? Or get married here?"

She laughed. "She said she'd track us down if we eloped. I think she sees herself as a kind of mother of the bride crossed with a maid of honour. So we'd better behave ourselves."

"Mmph."

"Don't sulk. You know what she's like."

"I owe her for letting us stay at her place, but I don't get why she has to be the boss of us. That's why I waited till we were up here before asking you. Our decision, not hers."

She smiled, smoothing his hair. "I understand. But you know, when we do get married, I'd like all our friends to be there. After all they've done for us, we can't really elope and forget them.."

"No, I guess not." He grinned rather mischievously. "You think I'd be used to tough women by now. I'm going to be henpecked _twice_."

"What does that mean?" Pretending to be cross she leaned over and tickled his ribs. His eyes widened, he laughing so hard his face turned bright red. She loved to see him like this - he'd had so little to laugh about. _But he will. I'll make sure of it. We'll both laugh. _"Do you _want_ me to henpeck you?"

Fighting for breath he looked up at her, gaze one of sheer affection. "Do you know, I think I might enjoy it."

* * *

She was singing in the shower. Though half-asleep he smiled, shuffling around to hear her better. Though she had a beautiful voice she rarely sang unless she was in a very good mood - she was always rather embarrassed about it. _She doesn't have to be, though. I wish she'd do it more often... _Rousing himself Mwu crossed to the bathroom door and peeked inside. There was steam, mostly, smelling of her shampoo and he chuckled quietly, tiptoeing in to see her better. The song had changed, becoming lilting and gentle...almost like a lullaby. _If she sang like this more often I don't think I'd have nightmares anymore... _Not wanting to disturb her he tiptoed a little closer to listen better, seeing her silhouette through the frosted glass of the shower door.

"Did you want to join me?"

He blinked. "Huh?"

The glass door slid open a little way and she peeked out, dark eyes full of smiles. "I said, did you want to join me? Room enough in here for two.."

He grinned. "Now how can I refuse an offer like that?" Climbing in beside her he gazed at her for a moment, brushing a lock of soaked brown hair from her face to cause pink to steal into her cheeks. "And you still blush, even after all this time."

"Anyone would, being looked at that way.." she protested softly. "You always do it."

"Because you're beautiful."

Murrue crinkled her nose. "Am not."

"Of course you are. I've always thought so. And I've always told you so."

"Yes, you have." She smiled, reaching up to wind arms around his neck. "You definitely know how to flatter a girl."

"Not any girl." He ducked down to kiss the tip of her nose. "Just you."

"Just me, huh? Well, it does help you get your own way a lot."

"Cause I'm dating my boss? Or because," he nuzzled kisses to her neck to cause a purr of delight, "I can make her _forget_ she's my boss? Am I right?"

Murrue murmured softly, closing her eyes as he ran hands down her sides - then squealed in alarm as the hot water suddenly turned ice-cold. He laughed, helping her out of the shower and shutting off the water. "Guess we timed that wrong.."

She managed a nod, shivering violently until he wrapped her in a towel and hugged her tightly. "N-not much of a s-shower..."

He kissed the top of her head. "It was great up to a point."

"N-no kidding.."

"C'mon, princess. Let's get you dried off." Mwu led her back into the bedroom, helping her get dried then wrapping her in a blanket, smiling when she clambered onto his lap and cuddled close to try and get warm. "Poor Murrue.."

"Are you laughing at me?"

"No, I'm not laughing. The shower's not a fan of romance, though."

She giggled. "No, I don't think it is." Glancing up at him she kissed him gently, her happy sigh becoming a squeak when he caught her around the waist and flopped backward onto the bed. The blanket still wound around her shoulders she shook her head with a smile, sitting up to brush fingertips over a scar on his chest. As always, the touch sent shivers through him - the skin over the healed wounds still quite new and rather sensitive. Closing his eyes he settled back into the covers to enjoy her attentions a little more, his own smile growing when her touch slipped lower.

"You know what'll happen if you keep doing that..."

"Yes, I know." He peeked up at her, noting that her fond smile had become decidedly seductive. "I planned on it."

"Did you now?" Sitting up he brought her closer, slowly unwinding the blanket and kissing the skin it exposed before letting it fall to the floor. "What else did you plan?"

His fiancee's answer was to push him flat to the bed.

* * *

"Think anyone saw us come out here?"

"A couple might have. But we're both off-duty, and we haven't gone far. If they want us, they can come find us."

She nodded, floating over to the dock window and placing a small hand on the glass. From this side of the dock the city wasn't visible, just an endless panorama of stars, and on quiet nights they'd spend hours here talking. Moving to stand behind her he kissed the back of her neck, winding arms around her waist as she leaned into him. "Think you'll miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"The stars. _Archangel. _All of this."

"Not really."

"Oh?"

She smiled. "We can see the stars from Earth. And I won't miss _Archangel_ if it means she'll never be needed to fight again. All I want now is for us to go back home."

"And have a house like the Director's."

"Really? It wouldn't be too big?"

"No, I don't think so." He'd been giving things some thought. If everything did turn out like they hoped it would, then he knew just what he wanted. A place like the Director's, with enough room for as big a garden as Murrue wanted - he'd seen how much care she took with the older woman's flowers and the Director herself had admitted she'd sometimes had to drag Murrue away from them. "If the Director's in a good mood maybe we can borrow bits of her plants."

"You mean cuttings. And she's already promised me some - all I need is a garden to put them in."

"Then we'll have to make sure you get one."

She smiled, squeezing his hands. "What else can we have?"

"I thought you didn't like thinking about this?"

"Yes well.." She glanced down, biting her lip. "After what happened, I started thinking differently. We could have had so much more in the time we had together if I hadn't kept you at arm's length for so long..."

"We had a lot. We still have a lot. And I was happy."

"So was I." She turned to face him, amber eyes gentle. "I'm sorry I didn't show it enough."

"You did."

Murrue smiled at that but the expression was bittersweet, she resting her forehead against his chest. "I wanted to apologise for the longest time," she murmured, so quietly he could barely hear her. "I pushed you away. Pretended work was more important. But nothing was, and I knew all along. I kept telling myself I'd make it up to you, but I.."

"You have." He hugged her close, breathing in the floral scent from her hair. "And you never needed to."

"I did. And I'm glad I got the chance to."

"You were just worried. Neither of us knew what was going to happen - it's natural to not want to get too close."

She shook her head. "I'd known before and that didn't stop me. I didn't know...when the right time was to move on, I guess. Didn't realise that it's possible to love more than one person." She leaned against him with a little sigh. "But when I did, it was too late."

"I'm here now."

"Yes, you're here now. And I was able to tell you. So, will you forgive me?"

"But.."

"Please?"

He sighed, running a hand over her hair. "I do. I'd forgive you for anything. Even when you don't need to be forgiven."

Murrue laughed. "Indulge me. I do it for you."

"Yes, you do." He kissed her gently. "So tell me, if you've started thinking differently, what else would you like?"

She pinked slightly, looking down at her feet. "There _is_ one thing....but I wanted to know what you thought first. I....always wanted a family."

Mwu nodded. Not unexpected. He'd seen her with Ryuta and the orphan kids, seen how good she was with them - she'd be a terrific mom. But _him.. _

"M'not sure I'd be any good as a dad. Not after the stuff I've done. Not a good enough person."

She smiled, placing a finger on his lips. "You're the best person I know. I think you'd be perfect."

"But my dad.."

"Isn't you. You're nothing like him, or Klueze. I'm not asking you to make a decision right away - just to give it some thought."

"I will, I promise."

And he would.

* * *

( nyo.

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	13. Chapter 13

_He couldn't move fast enough. The woman's hand was raised, pointing a handgun he hadn't even noticed at the princess. No-one else had spotted it, except for that girl the Athrun-kid called 'Mia' - she jumped in the way of the bullet just as the woman fired. There was no way he could prevent it...all he could do was sit there and watch. _Closing his eyes he pressed his forehead against the window glass. The events of that day kept replaying in his mind, mixed in with memories of his actions with the Alliance - he wanted so much to make up for the things he'd done, but he hadn't been able to do anything, not even save one girl's life. Deep in thought he never heard the door open, only looking up in some surprise when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Are you all right?"

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine." He smiled in an attempt to reassure her but knew it had fallen flat by her saddened expression. "C'mon, don't look at me like that.."

Murrue didn't say anything more, just hugged him. The embrace provided comfort, as she'd no doubt intended and he smiled a little more genuinely, closing his eyes again and breathing in the scent from her hair. She'd known. She always knew. "No fair."

"There was nothing you could have done."

"I keep telling myself that. It doesn't help."

She sighed, pulling away slightly to cup his face in her hands. "No. Stop blaming yourself for things."

"If I'd just seen her earlier.."

"Mwu, stop it. Beating yourself up over it isn't going to help anyone, least of all yourself. Lacus-san's upset too, but she's decided to fight in that girl's memory - isn't that better than blaming yourself?"

"I guess..."

She smiled, brushing her thumb over his scar. "I want to fight so no-one else ends up like that girl. To fight for Erica and my friends, for a world everyone can live in. For you."

"For me?"

"Of course. I'm a better captain now, and I can do a better job of protecting my pilots. Because I want us to go home together this time."

He nodded thoughtfully. Wasn't that what he wanted too? Instead of moping, perhaps he should focus on keeping his ship and fiancee safe. Think about the ones he could protect. _I couldn't save that girl, but I can save others. I can watch out for Murrue. I can make a difference this time.. _"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Straightening out his collar she kissed him gently. "Everyone wishes they could have done more. One of the hardest things is accepting that we really did all we could - that sometimes your best isn't quite good enough." Her smile became a little bittersweet at those words and he leaned in close to touch his forehead to hers.

"But yours was."

"I was lucky."

"We both were." He kissed the tip of her nose. Lucky he'd been certainly, to meet on the same battlefield after so long, to experience a taste of what life together might be like.....lucky to have met her in the first place. "Thank you."

"For what?"

He grinned. "Knocking some sense into me."

Murrue smiled. "Any time. Being all solemn doesn't suit you."

"Doesn't it?"

She shook her head, reaching up to trace the curve of his smile with a fingertip. "Whenever I remembered you or looked at the photograph you were always smiling."

"I see." It was the same for him. He'd always done his best to make her smile when she was sad and carried memories of that smile everywhere he'd gone in the last two years. Being solemn didn't suit her either - she deserved to always be happy. Scooping her up in his arms he chuckled at her squeak of surprise, twirling her around before sitting down on the bed with her on his lap. "If I smile more, then you have to." He gestured to the paperwork littering the desk in the corner. "Leave Captain Ramius on the bridge or in her office, and just be Murrue here."

She considered that, then nodded with a smile. "I can do that. If you leave your pilot self in the hangar bay."

"No problem. And even when we get home, okay? No working till all hours of the night."

She made a face. "It'd pile up otherwise."

"I could help you. I don't know what I'm going to do when we get home - maybe the Director would let me work with you."

"She might. Though she might suspect you'd distract me too much."

"And I probably would." With a sigh he flopped backward onto the bed, she still sitting on his lap. "I never thought about it. I don't know how to do much else other than fly. Would you still let me?"

Murrue swung her legs idly, chewing the lipstick from her lower lip as she thought. "It'd be alright if you weren't fighting. Erica's been looking for good test pilots for a long time..."

"So I'd get to test the stuff you designed? That sounded good - in fact that sounded _very_ good. "I think I'd like that."

She smiled. "Erica keeps asking me whenever we talk. She thinks you'd be perfect for it."

That caused a laugh. "I've never been perfect for anything."

"For this, you are." She moved to settle down on the bed beside him, resting her chin on his chest and kicking stockinged legs in the air. "As long as you're careful."

"Me? I'm always careful."

"If only that were true."

He looked much better. Halfway through brushing her hair she turned to watch him, leaning on the doorframe of the tiny bathroom. He was lying on his back on the bed in T-shirt and shorts, arm outstretched and fingers splayed to make patterns from the dock lights on the wall. After a moment he smiled a little, turning his head to gaze at her. "It's nice to be watched like that."

"Is it?"

His smile grew, he holding the outstretched hand for her to take. Setting down her brush she crossed over to join him, giggling when he pulled her down to land beside him. "You do that a lot these days.....just stand there and watch me. How come?"

"Because I never thought I'd be able to again."

Mwu blinked, then smiled warmly, wrapping her in a hug she gratefully returned. She'd watch him whenever she got the chance, always reminding herself of how lucky she was to have him back. It might be a while before he became the way Kira-kun and the others remembered, but the Mwu she'd known had never disappeared. _His heart stayed the same. It's an odd choice of words but it's true. Believing he'd see us all again was what kept him going.._

"You can watch me as much as you want."

He chuckled. "I already do."

* * *

You could cut the atmosphere with a knife. She stood warily in between the two, eyeing them both nervously. Neither man had moved an inch in the last five minutes, expressions blankly neutral but postures definitely hostile. _This was always going to happen, and I suppose it's better happening now than later. But.. _She'd known for a long time that Commander Bartfeld's feelings for her probably ran deeper than friendship, and knowing she'd spent the last two years living with him hadn't exactly endeared him to Mwu. It was a strange and pretty uncomfortable feeling knowing that the two men were jealous of each other, even stranger knowing that it was because of her. As she watched, Bartfeld rather pointedly looked away, causing Mwu to scowl.

"Something to say, then say it."

Bartfeld shrugged.

"Well?"

"Do I need to?"

Mwu's scowl deepened. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing."

The other captains were watching the exchange with some confusion, and Murrue palmed her face. Taking the elbows of the two she steered them outside into the ship's corridor, glaring at them both once the door was closed. "Stop it, the pair of you."

Mwu opened his mouth, probably intending to say something like 'he started it' but a look from her made him close it. With a sigh Murrue folded her arms and shook her head. "You're behaving like children. Whatever problems you have, leave them out here and act like the adults you are in the company of others. Alright?"

To her satisfaction both men nodded silently.

"Good. Now, I'm going back inside. If you two want to fight, then do it out here. Otherwise you can join me."

As she'd expected Mwu followed her placidly, Bartfeld joining them a few moments later.

"He loves you."

She closed her eyes, leaning against the wall. "Did he tell you?"

"He didn't need to. I can tell by the way he looks at you. Did you know?"

"It's not something I wanted to think about. I never mentioned it to him...I didn't want to hurt his feelings."

"You never felt that way about him?"

Murrue glanced up at him, taking in his obvious worry. "No. He's a good friend, and I'm grateful to him for giving me a place to stay and helping me deal with losing you, but he never meant more than that." She smiled a little. "He wasn't you."

He smiled himself at that, running a hand through rumpled blonde hair to hide his embarrassment. "T-thanks.."

"It's true. I talked it over with Erica. No-one was able to compare to you, even though you're an idiot." She poked him in the ribs. "You've no-one to be jealous of."

"I think I always might be, just a little. He had time with you I never did."

She moved to stand beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. "But you'll have time with me that he won't. If things go the way we want, you and I can be together for as long as we like."

"Forever?"

"Yes."

Mwu smiled, pulling her close in a hug. "That kind of makes up for it."

"I should hope so. Will you try and be polite to him? Even if he isn't to you?"

He sighed but nodded. "I'll try. I promise."

"Thank you." They could be friends - they were very similar. Both kind, handsome and brave, and both stubborn and occasionally pigheaded. She'd never wanted to hurt anyone, least of all her friends, but she would never have been able to feel for Bartfeld what he felt for her. _I think he knows that, but hope is difficult to let go of._

_Isn't that what kept me going?_

* * *

( blahhhh lol

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	14. Chapter 14

He looked different, and not just on the outside. Scars were one thing - he had enough himself to more than compete with the younger man - but the experiences that went with them were something else altogether. He'd heard the rumours, of course....on a fleet this small they spread like wildfire, and both Kira and Captain Ramius had separately confirmed some of them. So La Fllaga had been with the Alliance, been part of what they had done. He remembered the younger man well enough to know it wouldn't have been voluntary, but still.. He leaned on the window a short distance away, knowing full well that La Fllaga knew he was there.

"Round two?"

He smiled thinly. "She asked me not to."

"Same here."

Andrew sighed. "She knows us too well."

A small smile. "That she does." He glanced up at the other man, facial scar thrown into relief by the dock lights. "You're lucky."

"Me? How am _I_ lucky? You're the one she chose." That was what this was all about. Not what he may or may not have done with the Alliance - it was about the captain. He'd spent the last two years getting to know her and found it impossible to not be drawn to her. She was kind to everyone without exception, even him and others who'd been her enemy, she was smart, and she possessed a spirit stronger than any he'd seen before. _In the early days it was hard to spot, buried underneath sadness, loneliness, but as time went on I saw it more often. _La Fllaga had noticed his silence and seemed to understand the reasons for it, running a hand through overlong hair.

"How bad was it? The Director wouldn't give me details."

"She kept a lid on it during the day - the only signs you saw was that she worked too hard, well into the night as though she didn't want to sleep....afraid of what she might see. She admitted as much."

"She had nightmares?" He looked stricken, saddened, as well he might, and although Andrew felt a twinge of conscience at adding to his guilt it needed to be said.

"Sometimes, yes. I'd never seen her cry before that."

"And it was my fault."

"Yes, it was. But she never blamed you, was never mad at you, not even after the nightmares. She still kept that photograph by her bed, still kept that hat, and I heard her tell Simmons she'd wait for you no matter how long it was before she saw you again."

"I don't deserve her, do I?"

Andrew smiled. "She thinks you do. Don't knock it."

"I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "You know her. If she's got her mind made up, nothing's going to change it."

La Fllaga actually laughed a little. "No kidding."

"It's weird, you know. I've never been jealous of anyone before."

The other man blinked. "Eh?"

Andrew looked away. "Don't make me repeat it. Hard enough to admit the first time."

"No, I.." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I never figured it. Not since _I'm _jealous of _you._"

"And I never expected _you_ to admit something like that either."

"Yeah well, she's got this thing about honesty. About being responsible for your actions. Rubbed off on me after a while. It's why I told her about the stuff I did with the Alliance the first night I got back."

"Why would _you_ be jealous of _me_?"

The younger man smiled. "Cause you had time with her that I didn't. All I've had are a few months - you've had two years."

_And I don't know if I'll get longer. _He left that unsaid but Andrew heard it. It was the same for any pilot. Planning for or even thinking about a future past tomorrow was a risky business....sometimes too risky. _Maybe part of it is that I got to go home with her and he didn't?_

"But I wasn't the one she wanted."

La Fllaga leaned against the window, blue eyes focused on the ceiling, then quirked another smile. "We both have good taste in women."

Andrew laughed. "We certainly do."

* * *

She found him sitting on the windowledge, gazing out at the dock and whistling softly. He probably knew by now that she was there, but she decided to stay watching a while longer. Commander Bartfeld had been to see her a little earlier, and while he hadn't quite been able to admit how he felt he had mentioned that Mwu was lucky, and the smile he'd given her told her everything she'd wanted to know. _He is lucky. Not because of me, but because he was able to come through everything and still stay the same. _He was quieter, yes, and dreamed more, but anyone would. _She_ did. There was a lot to think about. To dream about.

"C'mere.."

She smiled. "I like watching you."

"You can watch me from here." He turned to her, holding out a hand and she moved over to join him. "Cause I like it."

"I know you do."

He smiled. "Were you looking for me? I'm sorry. Just thinking about stuff."

Murrue brushed a hand over his hair. "You always are."

"I'll be careful." The words surprised her - she hadn't considered that he wouldn't be. Going home together was something both of them wanted more than anything, something they'd discussed at length. Leaning close she kissed the top of his head.

"I never doubted it."

Mwu swung a leg slowly, staring at his hands. "M'scared."

She blinked. He'd never once admitted to fear....he was always so cocky, so confident that she'd begun to believe he wasn't afraid of anything. It was a little disconcerting. If _he_ was scared.. Taking his hands she moved to sit opposite him. "How come?"

"What if something happens again? If you're in danger, I can't just sit there and watch."

"It won't happen again."

He frowned slightly. "How do you know?"

"I don't. But I have to believe that it won't. If I stopped to think about everything that could go wrong I'd never want to step outside my door in a morning." She kissed his hands. "Don't worry."

"But I.."

She shook her head. "No. Don't think about it."

He hesitated, then nodded with a rueful smile. "I can try. I feel sort of dumb now. Usually I'm the one who doesn't worry about stuff."

"Everyone changes."

"That's true. But if you're not worried, then I won't be either. We'll be okay."

"Yep." Leaning forward she ruffled his hair, smiling herself when he leaned into the touch. Both were worried that what they wanted might not work out, but they couldn't afford to be afraid of the unknown. _We'll be alright. We have to believe it. _

Mwu glanced back out at the dock then up at her, blue eyes twinkling with a smile she remembered well but had rarely seen since his return - one that told her he had mischief in mind. Immediately suspicious she aimed a mock frown at him. "What?"

"What?"

"You're up to something."

He tried to look innocent. "No, I'm not."

"You're terrible at hiding things. Out with it."

"What do you think the Director would do if we _did_ elope?"

She sighed. "Not let us hear the end of it for a very long time."

"I'll take the risk if you will."

"Still haven't given up on that, huh?"

"Nope. It'd be great fun."

"It would be," she replied mildly, "until Erica found out."

"I'll tell her."

"_You'll_ tell her?"

He grinned and nodded quite cheerfully. "Sure. Least I can do."

"Alright then, let's say I agree to this idea. Where and how?"

"Here. Or _Kusanagi._ I bet one of the other captains would do it if we asked. And our friends can be there - the kid, the princess, even the Tiger if you want."

Murrue smiled. "You'd let me invite him?"

"Of course I would. He's your friend, and I owe him one for looking after you."

"Thank you." It meant a lot that he understood Commander Bartfeld's feelings and was willing to try and mend fences. Both men had the same sense of (stubborn) pride - accepting a rival couldn't have been easy for either of them but they'd managed it. _Though 'rival' might be too strong a word. He never had one. In the last two years people were interested, and I was lonely, but I couldn't let go. I kept seeing his smile... _"Let's go for it."

His face lit up. "Really?"

"Mmm-hmm. You're right, it'll be fun. And we can deal with Erica together."

He chuckled. "Doubleteam her. I get it. Right, I'll get to sweet-talking the other captains....maybe I can get the princess to put in a good word for us."

"I'm sure she would."

"You going to get a dress then?"

She smiled. "No, I don't think so. My uniform will do fine. It's one to be proud of."

"Yes, that's true." Suddenly laughing he tugged her onto his lap, tickling her till she couldn't breathe. "Thanks so much."

"Y-you're w-welcome.."

* * *

Hands stuffed in the pockets of borrowed jeans he sauntered down the busy streets of Copernicus' main city, whistling tunelessly. Life was going great. He was free of the Alliance - even more so now word had filtered down to the Orb fleet that ZAFT had destroyed his old ship and Djibril along with it - he was amongst friends, he had a home to go back to, and the love of his life had agreed to marry him...something he'd wanted for a very long time. So yeah, life was good. _I can't predict tomorrow or even an hour ahead of now. All I can do is believe everything will be okay. _And he would. She was a great captain, he was a pretty good pilot...they'd be fine.

"Is there a reason we're out here?"

"Plenty of 'em. One, I told the Director's kid I'd bring him a present back, two, apart from that time you and the other kid took your lady friends out you haven't left the ship, and three.." He grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. "Moral support, I guess."

Kira raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

"Murrue and me....we're getting married tomorrow._ Kusanagi_'s captain's agreed to come over to do it for us, cause we wouldn't want it to be anywhere other than _Archangel_. We owe the old girl too much."

The kid beamed. "That's great, Mwu-san."

"Thanks. We'd like you and the princess to be there."

"Try and keep us away."

He laughed. "Wouldn't dare." It was his way of saying 'thank you'. Kira had found him, sent him back, and both he and his princess had been there for Murrue in the last two years. "You're good kids, the pair of you. The other kid and the missie too."

"That means a lot. Thank you."

"Any time."

He'd changed. Whether due to what he'd seen and done with the Alliance or due to Murrue-san's influence he was a little different than before. Before, Mwu-san had been friendly enough, but always kept everyone at arm's length - Murrue-san was the only one he'd let close. _I started to understand things better at Mendel. His parents, his childhood.... I wonder if Murrue-san was the first person to show him any affection? _But now that distance had lessened, the older man becoming more open with people, and the change was a nice one. It was clear Murrue-san appreciated it, she smiling warmly to see him talking and laughing with others.

"So what are you getting today? The rings?"

Mwu-san nodded. "And the kid's present. He has a train set in his room, so I thought I'd get him something for it."

Not far from the middle of the city was a hobby store, it's window display an entire landscape in which trains rattled merrily round a series of tracks. It had everything, a station, a village, even a tiny farm....it was amazing. His friend looked similarly stunned.

"I want one of these," he announced, the statement and the smile making him almost like a ten-year-old.

Kira smiled. "If I could, I think I'd get one too."

"Maybe if Tiger rebuilds that house you and the others can go live there with him? I bet there'd be a room spare for one of these. The little guys would love it."

"I'm sure they would."

Mwu-san grinned, pushing open the door to the dimly-lit store. Inside was even more impressive, shelves lined with dozens of boxes, glass cabinets filled with model trains, and even toy planes and helicopters hanging from the ceiling.

"I've never seen anything like this.."

"Me either. Isn't it awesome?"

He nodded slowly, gazing all around him. His friend was practically bouncing on his toes, eyes shining. "We're here for something for Ryuta-kun, remember?"

"I remember. But I can look." He knelt down beside a model helicopter, twirling the blades around with a finger before looking up at the sales assistant. "How do these work?"

"You're guaranteed to crash the first time you try."

Mwu-san grinned. "Is that so?" Taking the control he studied it for a moment, then flipped the switch to set the rotor spinning. And, to the assistant's obvious surprise, the little helicopter rose into the air. Whistling softly, Mwu-san wandered around the store flying the toy in and out of the shelves, leaving the others watching.

"I never saw anyone do that before." the assistant admitted. "I was only able to fly one of those after years of practice - you have to operate controls for different things at the same time."

Kira smiled. "He has good reflexes."

"No kidding."

"Mwu-san, we're here to get a train."

The older man peeked out from behind a shelf. "You're no fun."

"How old are you again?"

He laughed. "You can be too old for these?"

"Aren't you getting married tomorrow?"

"And she said she'd get me a train set when we get home." Mwu-san landed the helicopter and handed the remote back to the assistant. "But yeah, I guess I'd better get what I came for." Taking some money from his pocket he handed it to Kira. "See if you can find a nice one. I'll be back in a little while."

"Mwu-sa-" The bell over the door tinkled and he was gone, leaving Kira there to palm his face. _Why is he always like this?_

* * *

His old room felt weird. Not creepy weird, but different. He'd been in here a couple of times since he'd come back but never for long, just to collect the few belongings he had left and take them across to the room he now shared with Murrue. He'd read (somewhere) that it was bad luck to see the bride the night before the wedding, but he wasn't at all sure that this counted. It wasn't like it was going to be a big fancy service, just a simple ceremony that they could have blessed back in Orb. Exchanging a few vows and the rings he'd bought, that was all. Slipping his hand into the pocket of his jeans he pulled them out, the silver objects sparkling in the dim light. No engraving, no stones....they weren't necessary. Just ordinary rings, one big and one small. What was important was what they meant. He smiled, squeezing them in his hand.

"_There_ you are. Kira-kun came back an hour ago....I thought you'd gotten lost."

"I noticed he didn't wait for me."

"He knew you'd be longer than you said. You can be a bit of a dreamer sometimes."

Mwu crinkled scarred nose. "He just couldn't be bothered. Did he get a train?"

She moved into the room to stand beside him. "A red steam train. Ryuta-kun will love it. Thank you." Noticing the bag he carried she tried to peek inside. "What else did you get?"

He grinned. "It's a secret. You can see tomorrow."

"Aww."

"C'mon, you've got to let me have _some_ secrets. But here," He opened his hand to show her the rings. "What do you think?"

His fiancee beamed, taking the smaller one from him and sliding it onto her left hand. "Perfect."

"Good." Taking the ring from her he put them back in his pocket, smiling when she took his arm and leaned close.

"How come you're in here, anyway?"

"I was going to stay in here tonight. Some sort of tradition, I think, about bad luck."

Murrue huffed.

"Not heard that one?"

"Oh, I've heard it. But I don't agree with it. People make their own luck."

He smiled. "So you think we'd be okay?"

"I know we would. All that's happened and we're still here like this? We'll be fine."

"You're probably right."

"Of course I am." Tugging on his arm she pulled him from the room, only giving him chance to take a last look around before the door closed behind them. She was right about most things....this was likely no exception.

* * *

"Interesting secrets he keeps..."

Not that it wasn't nice. When he'd left to get ready that morning he'd left the bag she'd seen him with yesterday, and her curiosity had gotten the better of her (as he'd probably suspected). Inside the bag was what she assumed was a wedding present. The lacy kind. Black with red ribbon trimmings. Not the kind of outfit she normally wore, but rather nice and clearly expensive, and when she got chance she'd thank him. With a smile she picked up those and a clean uniform and went for a shower. Lacus-san had offered to come by later to arrange her hair, and she wanted to spare the girl any blushes.

By the time she was showered and dressed the younger woman was at the door, she dressed so nicely Murrue's uniform felt drab by comparison. "You'll show me up."

"Nonsense, Murrue-san," was the sweet reply, she entering the room followed by Meyrin-chan. "No-one could show you up today. Here, sit down."

Meyrin-chan had taken a seat beside the small desk, watching the two older women. "Are you nervous, Captain?"

"Yes, actually. I'm not sure why, though."

"It's a big step," mused Lacus-san, busy braiding. "You and Fllaga-san will be family. But I'm not surprised he decided to do it, or that you agreed. You two belong together."

Murrue flushed. "I wouldn't go that far."

"Really? I would. You waited for each other. No-one else could ever come close to him for you, and I'm sure it was the same for him. It's very romantic."

"I suppose so."

Lacus-san laughed. "You don't think so?"

"I guess it is. I never really thought about it."

"I hope Kira and I can be as happy as you and Fllaga-san." The younger girl sounded wistful, and Murrue looked up at her with a smile, understanding a little better.

"You will be. Don't worry."

"Did you meet Fllaga-san here?" asked Meyrin-chan, swinging her legs. "He's a nice person."

"Yes, he is. He can be a bit of an idiot sometimes, but he has a very good heart."

"Is that why you love him?"

"That and a few other reasons. He's not perfect - not even close - but I can't imagine life without him. Not anymore."

Meyrin-chan smiled and nodded, seemingly understanding.

"Right," announced Lacus-san. "Take a look in the mirror and tell me what you think."

Her reflection showed that auburn hair had been braided and clipped up on her head. Very different from normal, and very elegant. "It's perfect. Thank you."

"Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Nervous as hell for a reason she still wasn't sure about, but also excited, she twisted her fingers together, directing a little smile at her younger friends. Yes, she was ready.

* * *

The ceremony was beautiful. Simple and quiet, just a handful of people there to see it. Murrue-san and Fllaga-san were both smiling, standing hand-in-hand in front of _Kusanagi_'s captain, and stole little glances at each other every so often. She was red to her ears, and Fllaga-san's hair clearly hadn't seen a brush that morning but it hardly mattered. All that mattered was that they were happy. As she watched, he placed a tiny silver band on Murrue-san's left hand, he actually blushing just a little bit and his bride laughed softly, brushing that hand over his cheek before placing a ring on his own finger. When the ceremony ended he drew her to him in a hug so tight it must have cut off her breathing before stealing a kiss that must have cost what air she had left, but she didn't seem to mind, laughing again when the kiss ended.

Lacus smiled, brushing a tear from her eye.

_I do hope Kira and I can have that one day..._

* * *

( hehe wedding fluff. I had to add it, and I'm not sorry.

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	15. Chapter 15

_"Can't say I'm surprised. Kind of annoyed, yes, but not surprised. Ceremony go okay?"_

She nodded with a small smile, twirling the two silver rings around her finger. "Not very traditional, but we wouldn't have been able to have anything like that anyway."

_"Course you can. You can get the marriage blessed, can't you? I'll talk to Malchio-sama the next time I visit Caridad. That way it can be as traditional as you want and the rest of us can be there."_

"Thank you."

_"This was his idea, wasn't it?"_

"Well..."

Erica rolled her eyes. _"Don't try and stick up for him. I know it was."_

"I think he wanted us to be family. It's something he never really had before. And since we don't know for sure whether we'll come out of all this okay, we may as well make the most of the time we have."

Her friend pulled a face. _"You soldiers are all the same. 'Live for today, cause hey, tomorrow we might be dead!' It's so morbid."_

"I'm not morbid. Just realistic. We'll be heading for Messiah soon, so.."

_"You wanted to give him an anchor point. Something to come back to."_

"Sometimes I worry he'll fly so far I'll lose sight of him." She shrugged. "Silly, I know, but I can't help it."

_"I've heard that a lot. A lot of the crew down here have family who are pilots up there with you, and there isn't a single one who's not worried. And La Fllaga can be a dreamer sometimes. The most important thing is that he remembers he has someone waiting for him."_

Murrue nodded. "And I don't want to wait any longer than I have to."

_"No kidding. Anyway, how's reactions to that Destiny Plan thing?"_

She shook her head. "No-one's really sure what the idea behind it is. All we can work out is that everyone would be told how to work, where to live....all of us in our little niche. Not much of a way to live."

_"No way at all. So this is for everyone's freedom, not just our own. I'd call that a good reason."_

"So would I."

_"Get their asses kicked and get back home. Then I can knock your heads together for eloping."_

Murrue laughed. "I'll look forward to it." Saying goodbye to her friend she ended the call, sitting back in her chair with a little sigh.

"M'not a dreamer..."

She smiled. "I thought you were asleep."

"I thought we were going to talk to her together."

"It was easier this way. And she wasn't mad about it."

He chuckled. "Not until we get home."

"You know she's not that bad."

"She's very protective of you, and I'm glad of that. Her and Tiger and the kids looked out for you, and I owe them for it."

She moved across to sit on the bed, ruffling his hair. "I'm sure they'd say you don't owe them anything. They're just glad you're back."

He quirked a grin. "Even Tiger?"

"In his own way."

"Wonder which way that is." He held out a hand to her. "C'mon now, we'd better get some sleep."

"Give me a minute to turn the lights off then."

She couldn't sleep. Though it was late, thoughts whirled around in her head and refused to let her rest. He didn't seem to have that problem, he curled up close beside her sound asleep, but she was glad of that. It meant he'd stopped worrying, or at least worrying so much. _It's bad enough that I fret about these things...I don't want him to do it too.. _Tilting her head a little she watched him, smiling when he crinkled scarred nose slightly.

"S'matter?"

The sleepy voice surprised her. "Now why are you awake?"

"Cause _you_ are." He half-opened his eyes and smiled. "You're worried again, huh?"

"You can read my thoughts now?"

A quiet laugh. "No. But I could tell something was bothering you, and since I know you pretty well by now, I figured it out. C'mere." Shifting onto his back he brought her close, letting her rest her head on his chest, and stroked her hair gently. "If I'm not allowed to be worried, then you aren't either."

"Am too."

Mwu sighed. "You make it sound like you _want_ to be."

"I want to go home." He was the only one she'd complain to, knowing he understood her better than anyone. "I hate all this waiting." Huffing softly she rested her chin on his chest, kicking legs in the air.

He grinned. "It's not like you to grumble. It's kinda cute."

Murrue smiled herself a little reluctantly. "I don't want to make a habit of it."

"It's this last battle that's bothering you, isn't it?"

"It feels like it did before Jachin Due." _When I lost you. _

"It won't be like that." he replied quite cheerfully. "We're both better at this, I have a better suit, and I was more or less ordered by the Director not to break it. Or myself. And since I find her far scarier than any battle, it's a pretty good incentive to stay in one piece."

"That's very true. Plus, if you get hurt _I'll_ be mad at you."

He winced. "Great. I'd get my balls busted _twice_."

She giggled. "And you were the one who said you'd enjoy being henpecked."

"I take it back."

* * *

"I made a lot of promises, didn't I?"

Akatsuki didn't answer. Not that he expected it to. Lying on his back on the maintenance gantry he held out his left arm, gazing at the silver ring on that hand. Promises. To the missie, to the Director, and to Murrue and himself. He'd promised to love, honour and cherish, but he couldn't do any of that if he didn't make sure they both came through this battle okay. _She won't thank me for it - in fact she'll probably break my kneecaps so the Director can reach my nose - but I'm not just going to sit there.._

"Mwu-san?"

He smiled. "Hey kid."

"Did you or Murrue-san say anything to Lacus?"

"Bout what?"

Kira trudged up the steps and sat down heavily. He looked pretty flustered - something Mwu hadn't seen from him since before Mendel. "She's acting weird. Looking at me like she wants something, but she won't tell me what it is."

"How weird is 'weird', exactly?"

"She whispers about things with Meyrin-chan, and they both giggle a lot when they see me. Not in front of anyone else though, so people act like I'm crazy when I tell them. Even Athrun."

Mwu sniggered. He couldn't help it.

"Not you too.."

"Imagine it. The pink princess acting like a normal teenage girl. The horror."

Kira blinked. "Normal?"

"Not been around too many girls, have you? It's a shame you didn't grow up with that sister of yours."

"What does she want?"

He grinned. "A normal teenage boy, I'd imagine."

The kid palmed his face. "This is all _your_ fault."

"How the hell is it my fault?"

"She's only been acting this way since you and Murrue-san got married. So it's your fault."

"Why is this a bad thing? She's a pretty girl, she likes you....go for it."

Kira flushed scarlet to his ears.

"What, you don't like _her_?"

"N-no, I _do_, I just...." He ran a hand through his hair. "The last relationship I had didn't work out so well and besides, we're almost at Messiah."

"You can't ignore stuff forever. Murrue and I only realised how we felt when we thought it was too late. Don't make the same mistake."

"I won't." The kid smiled, leaning against the gantry railing. "You really love her, don't you?"

A dozen or so smart comments came to mind, but instead he smiled himself, gazing up at the hangar ceiling. "Yeah."

"You think I should tell Lacus how I feel?"

"Only if you're _sure_ how you feel. Lying to protect a girl's feelings only makes you look an ass in the long run."

"If I am sure, when should I tell her? Before the battle?"

Mwu crinkled his nose. "And if you don't come back, how's she going to feel?"

Kira sighed and nodded. "I never realised how complicated this was."

"It doesn't get easier. I still can't figure Murrue out sometimes." _But I look forward to trying._

"Good luck, Mwu-san."

"With the battle or Murrue?"

The kid laughed. "Both."

"Thanks."

He was as ready as he'd ever be. Strapped into Akatsuki's cockpit he watched his breath mist on the inside of the helmet he'd been given, waiting for the order to launch. It felt weird. He was fighting on the right side finally, to defend his wife, friends and adopted home country from an unknown fate, and he was as confident as ever in his piloting skills, so why was he nervous? Blowing upward at his fringe he closed his eyes and settled back in his seat.

_"Mwu?"_

A smile curving his lips he glanced up at the screen. She was there, probably in her office, and she looked scared as hell. "Hey, princess. You didn't come see me off this time."

Murrue bit her lip and looked away. _"I.."_

"It's alright. I know."

_"You will be careful, won't you?"_

"I'll try my best to be." He couldn't promise and they both knew it. Not even to make her feel better.

She smiled a little, reaching out to touch the camera. _"I love you."_

"I love you too." She nodded, the picture disappearing. Not much had been said....not much needed to be. They each knew how the other felt.

_Let me come back safe to her._

* * *

It was happening again.

Eyes wide she pressed herself back into the chair, staring blindly at the ray of dazzling light. They couldn't move - _Eternal_ was right behind them and would be a sitting duck if she gave the order to evade.

_I'm sorry, Mwu.._

Then, almost as if to prove that history was repeating itself, the light was suddenly blocked. It was hard to make out the silhouette against the brilliant display but she knew without asking that it was Akatsuki. She stared until the light became too bright to see anymore, heart racing, spots and tears blurring her vision. It wasn't fair. They'd gone through too much.

_"It's all right!"_

Confused, she looked up. To her surprise, not only was Akatsuki there, but it appeared completely undamaged.

_"I won't go anywhere anymore!"_ As _Minerva_ fired again the golden suit sent out it's funnels, the beams they shot out forming a protective barrier around the ship, and a second later her husband's face appeared on the screen, grin both exhilarated and sheepish. _"And I'm sorry."_

She nodded, a little too overcome to speak. He was okay. It wasn't over, not yet, but it was something. Maybe it would be alright.

* * *

When she reached the hangar he was waiting for her, hair clinging damply to his forehead but smile as wide as she'd ever seen it. He was okay - in fact he didn't even look concerned, and that combined with everything that had happened, her fear in the battle, her loneliness in the last two years caused by his recklessness was almost too much. Scowling she stalked up to him, feeling a little better when his eyes widened and he actually paled.

"I.." Then he sighed, closed his eyes and stood perfectly still.

And she let him have it.

The sound of her slap echoed through the hangar, everyone falling silent and turning to stare, but she never saw them. Mwu stood wide-eyed. the red mark on his cheek a perfect handprint.

"You idiot." was all she could get out before the tears came. Mwu never said a word, just pulled her close in a hug so tight it almost cracked her ribs.

"I'm sorry.." he whispered and she laughed, tears spilling down her cheeks and soaking into his pilot suit.

"You're such a jerk.."

"I know, I know." Placing an arm around her shoulders he steered her out of the hangar past the watching crowd, the two of them making their way to the observation window. There wasn't much to see save for stars, the ship on it's way back to Copernicus, but the solitude was what they needed. Once there he smiled gently, brushing the tears from her cheeks with gloved fingers. "That was a helluva whack."

She sniffled. "You deserved it."

"I did, didn't I? But it was worth it."

"It was?"

He kissed her forehead. "Course it was. How could I have lost you?"

Murrue closed her eyes against more tears. "Idiot."

He chuckled and brought her close again. "I love you too."

Standing on her tiptoes she kissed him gently. "No more heroics, okay? You're staying with me if I have to tie you to me."

"That sounds like fun."

She giggled. "_Mwu.._"

"What? It's true." He rested his chin on the top of her head. "Joking aside, I said I wouldn't go anywhere anymore, and I won't. I don't need to."

She smiled and leaned into him, closing her eyes to listen to his heartbeat. It was all right. He was here, and this time they could go home.

_I can finally stop waiting._

* * *

( whee written with the POWER OF SUGAR

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	16. Chapter 16

It was like a weight had gone from her shoulders. She smiled more, laughed more, teased the kids....it was great fun to watch. She'd even huffed when one of the other captains had reminded her about paperwork. _Normally I have to drag her away from her desk, now she won't sit there for more than five minutes.. _She was sitting there at the moment, staring at the papers littering the surface but didn't appear to be paying them much attention, and after a while she sighed. He smiled and moved across to join her, pecking a kiss to the crown of her hair. "Need some help?"

"I can't concentrate..." She smiled herself a little ruefully. "Don't know why."

"Cause you don't want to anymore."

"Got that right."

"Need a break?"

"I don't though, do I? If I go do something else I won't want to come back here." She slumped forward, chin resting on her hands. "M'all irresponsible."

He grinned. "You're the most responsible person I know."

"Because I'm more responsible than you?"

"Probably."

"What about the paperwork though?"

"We go take a walk, then we come back here and tackle it together. There's not that much."

"True.."

"C'mon." He held out a hand to her. "I'll get us some coffee." She hesitated for a moment then smiled, taking the hand and letting him pull her to her feet.

"You'll get us both into trouble."

"Ah, no bother. There's nothing that can't wait."

"So you'll stick up for me?"

"Don't I always?"

She grinned, leaning into him as they walked. "Yes, you do. And I promise I'll stick up for you when we see Erica again."

Mwu groaned. "Thanks for reminding me of that. She finds out what I did with Akatsuki and she'll cut my fingers off."

"Don't be silly. Akatsuki doesn't have a scratch on it. If no-one tells her, she'll never know."

"Oh, she'll know," he replied gloomily. "She'll find out."

She kissed his cheek. "Don't worry. If she does, I'll talk to her."

"You'll protect me?"

"Of course I will. What's family for?"

That word sounded better each time he heard it. Family. Embarrassed for a reason he wasn't sure how to explain he rubbed the back of his neck, smiling a little when she brushed a small hand over his face. She understood - she always did.

"It'll be okay."

"I know it will. Just a lot to get used to."

"We have plenty of time."

"Yeah.." To have the same stuff others did, the kind of stuff the Director and her other friends had. A place to work, a home of their own, and whatever else came afterwards. Murrue had admitted shyly that she'd like children, which was something he'd been giving a lot of thought. _I've no idea whether I'd be any good at it. Ryuta and the little orphan guys are good kids but they're not mine - someone else brought them up. Would I be able to do as good a job? _He had no doubt whatsoever that Murrue would make a terrific mom....everyone from the orphan kids up to Kira and his friends loved her. But..

Murrue kissed him. Unprepared for it his eyes widened, he fighting for breath when she broke the exchange. "Wha.."

"You're worrying again."

"No I'm not."

She poked him in the chest, expression one of mixed affection and annoyance. "Yes, you are."

He sighed. "Can't hide anything from you, can I?"

"Not when it's bothering you."

"It isn't. It's just dumb."

"How is it dumb?"

"Cause.." He leaned against the wall. "Ah geez, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to be a regular guy. I'm just a pilot."

"You can learn. We both can." She moved to face him, placing a hand on his heart. "It'll be fine."

"Thought _I_ was the one who inspired confidence."

Murrue smiled. "I told you that you were rubbing off on me."

He chuckled. "Yes, you did. And you're a quick study." Taking her hand he kissed the fingers. "Thank you."

"You have nothing to worry about." He must have still looked doubtful, because she stepped forward and hugged him. "You think I'm not nervous? I've never done anything like this before either."

_She has a point. She lived with Tiger but they were just room-mates. This'll be living together as a couple - a married couple - and neither of us knows what that's like. Pretty steep learning curve..._

"I can't cook."

"I'll teach you."

* * *

Everyone was making the most of the war being over. Instead of the tenseness that had permeated the ship before the Messiah battle, there was a relaxed and happy air. Miriallia-san gleefully related all the gossip about new relationships, including Athrun-kun and Meyrin-chan, and, to Mwu's great satisfaction, Kira-kun and Lacus-san. _I always hoped those two would finally get together. They both deserve happiness. _Murrue always refused to give her younger friend any details of how her own relationship was going, however. She and Mwu were a little too old to be gossiped about.

"Is he behaving himself?"

"Of course he is."

Miriallia-san grinned, swinging her legs as they sat on the hangar gantry together. "There was a pool going with the guys down here as to whether you and the Commander would get married before the war ended. I think one of the junior engineers won it."

Murrue palmed her face.

"Don't be like that. Murdoch-san says he wanted to use the money to buy you both a wedding present. Apparently a lot of the juniors we took on at Orb have crushes on you."

"Eh?"

"It's true. Has the Commander ever come off shift looking kind of mad?"

"Sometimes." He'd never say what it was about, just muttered something about being tired or needing a shower. It was so unlike him to be grumpy, but she'd never asked too many questions, just kissed him and left him to calm down on his own. It never took long for his usual sunny nature to reassert itself.

Miriallia-san nodded. "They said that sometimes he overheard them talking about you. I think he's the jealous type."

"I never thought he would be.."

"He's probably been pretty lonely in the last couple of years. Now he has a part of his old life back, and he doesn't want to let go."

"He knows me better than that."

"I'm sure he does. But there are still other guys whispering about his girl, and I've known people be jealous about a lot less."

"You have?"

The teenager grinned. "I've gone through high school."

Murrue smiled. "Good point."

"So what will you and the Commander do when you get home?"

She leaned on the railing and looked out over the hangar. "Have everything we wanted but couldn't have before. A home together, a life together.."

"A family?"

She blushed faintly. "We've started to talk about it." He'd admitted he wasn't sure whether he'd make a good father, but that he was willing to give it a try. They'd planned to try babysitting the orphan children first to see how things went. "Don't know whether it'll work out, though."

"It will. I'm sure of it."

"Thank you." In truth, it was easy to imagine. He was wonderful with Ryuta-kun and the orphans, never too tired or busy to play. _Maybe it's because he's still a child himself at heart. _Yes, he'd be a good father - he'd be a great one.

_And we have all the time in the world to find out._

* * *

Home. They were home. Standing on the upper deck, jacket shrugged off and lying discarded she closed her eyes, stretching out in the sunlight with a happy sigh. The outline of the island country lay just ahead, shimmering in the afternoon heat....she could hardly wait till they reached it.

"Thought you might be out here."

"Did you?"

He wandered over to stand beside her, one arm slung over her shoulders. "You've been pretty homesick, huh?"

"It's weird. I never realised how attached to this place I was."

He smiled. "It's home."

"Yes, it is. For both of us."

"Can we go by a different route so the Director won't be waiting for us?"

Murrue squeezed his hand gently. "She'd find us. Besides, she said we can stay at her house while we find a place of our own, so you'll have to put up with it."

"Dammit.."

"Now c'mon, she's not that bad. And she likes you."

"She has a funny way of showing it."

"You like her too, don't you?"

Mwu grumbled softly, cheeks a faint pink and she hugged his arm with a laugh. Despite their complaints and arguments the two of them did like each other, having a sort of younger brother/older sister relationship. He rubbed scarred nose, scuffing a foot on the deck. "Don't tell her."

"I won't, I promise."

And just as they'd thought, their friend was waiting, along with Cagalli-san and most of the Morgenroete crew - the dock was packed. As the ship moved into port there was a spontaneous outbreak of cheering, those on the dock waving so enthusiastically some nearly fell into the water. Thoroughly embarrassed by all the attention she hid her face in Mwu's jacket, much to his amusement. "C'mon, they're happy to see us."

"They don't have to make such a fuss.."

"We helped save 'em. I'd say that was worth some fuss. Maybe even a party."

Murrue made a face. "I don't want a party. I just want things to be how they were."

He kissed the crown of her hair. "Then if the Director's okay with it, we'll go right home."

Erica was a little grumpy about it - she loved parties - but agreed, sweeping Murrue into a hug and even ruffling Mwu's hair. "Let me see."

The younger woman grinned, holding out her left hand. Erica examined the two silver rings with a critical eye before glancing up at Mwu, who seemed to shrink several inches.

"She didn't want expensive ones.." he murmured, staring at his feet like a chastened schoolboy. Erica sighed, looking back at Murrue, who shrugged with a sweet smile.

"You're hopeless."

"They're pretty."

"They are, but.." She shook her head with a fond smile. "Never mind. I should have known better. Still want to get it blessed? I talked to Malchio-sama."

"And?"

"He said he'd be happy to do it. He suggested that when the chapel on the island is rebuilt you have the ceremony there - it'd be totally private that way. Cause I just _know_ you won't want a fuss making."

"That sounds perfect." She looked up at her husband, who smiled and wound an arm around her, leaning close to kiss the crown of her hair.

"She looks a lot better. You both do."

La Fllaga smiled, swinging his legs as he sat on the wall. Murrue was down at the bottom of the garden playing with Ryuta, who was delighted to have his grown-up friends back. She was laughing, falling backward onto the grass as the little boy pounced . Erica was pleased. _They went to fight again so all this would still be here when they got back. _It was the best possible outcome - not only was the war finally over (hopefully for real this time) but her best friend was finally able to settle down and be happy, even if the one she'd chosen _was _an idiot.

"You still mad at me?"

She smiled. "I should be, shouldn't I? For eloping and what you did with Akatsuki?"

La Fllaga blanched. "How'd you find out about that? Murrue said.."

"She didn't tell me. But you know, gossip has a way of getting around. I found out pretty early. But since you haven't done it any damage and you _did_ use it to save Murrue I'll let you off, and not tell Cagalli-sama about it."

He managed a lopsided grin. "I was less worried about her finding out than you."

"You thought I'd be more likely to kick your ass?"

"Yes." he answered honestly, shrugging when Erica laughed. "Not like you haven't threatened me with violence before."

"Very true."

"So you'll let me off?"

She patted his shoulder. "This time, I will, because both you and Murrue are all right. But pull a stunt like that again and.."

"I know, I know. Ass-kicking."

"You got it." Pushing herself off the wall she ran down the garden to join her friend and son, La Fllaga following with a laugh and scooping up Murrue to twirl her around. Erica herself lifted Ryuta into her arms and watched the two of them, smiling when Murrue stood on her tiptoes to touch her nose to his. They were home, and they could start their life.

_And they'll be happy. I know it._

* * *

( :D

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	17. Chapter 17

She wasn't there when he woke up. Rolling onto his back he stared up at the ceiling, watching the fan spin lazily. The window was open to let in the light breeze and sounds of the surf and seabirds, and he smiled, stretching out with a content sigh before sitting up and peeking through gauzy curtains. He could see his wife in the garden below digging through a patch of soil the Director had talked about turning into a vegetable plot, and further out on the beach there were people making the most of the already warm morning - surfing, swimming or just walking. It was a peaceful, rather comforting scene, and he leaned on the windowsill to watch for a while. _Still getting used to calling this place home, but I think one more change will be all it takes._

The Director had said they could stay with her for as long as they wanted, and had even hinted that they could live with her if they wanted. It was a kind gesture, but he wanted something more. He wanted everything. Everything he hadn't been able to have before but had always imagined. A real home, someone to share it with, work that didn't involve fighting for his life.....and the little things. Like real coffee in a morning, walks on the beach at sunset, curling up on the sofa to watch re-runs of bad TV. All the things he'd never been able to do but always wanted to, and he could do them all with her. With a grin he pushed open the window, whistling to catch her attention and waving when she looked up.

"Want to go for a walk?"

"Would that be a morning or afternoon walk? It's late enough to count as both."

He chuckled. "You're so mean. Why did I marry you?"

"As I recall, you gave me at least a dozen reasons. Which one was wrong?"

"None."

"Then why are you asking?"

He shrugged. "Cause you're going to be my boss for the rest of our lives?"

She blew him a kiss. "Get dressed and we'll go to the park. You can play on the swings."

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart."

The afternoon was as hot as any other in this country, but after a fortnight or so he was starting to adjust to it. Murrue had reacclimatised without any trouble, loving the sun - she'd been cold everywhere else, even with the heater in their room aboard ship turned up - and spent hours outdoors gardening or chatting with the Director while he had to go indoors or in the shade to avoid being burned. _I guess I'll get used to it eventually. _Blowing upwards at his fringe he ran the back of his free hand over his forehead, poking his tongue out at her when she giggled.

"What? It's hot."

"It's going to get hotter. I'm not even used to the summers here yet."

"We'll have to find a place with airconditioning then."

"Yes, we will."

Mwu grinned. "Not up to living with the Director permanently then?"

She made a face. "She'll drive us up the wall. No, I want us to have our own place. We can decorate it ourselves, make a nice garden and besides, you want room for your train set."

He laughed. "So I can still have that?"

"I said so, didn't I? If we find a place with an attic like Erica's, you could have the whole room. Imagine how big a set you could have."

"It'd take me years to fill a room that size.." Now _that_ was an interesting (and appealing) thought. "Could I really do that? You wouldn't mind?"

She kissed his cheek. "Mwu, you can have whatever you want. You've earned it."

"Even if it involves me acting like a kid?"

"_Especially_ if it involves you acting like a kid. Why do you think we're going to the park?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "You don't have to indulge me.."

"No, I don't. But I want to." She squeezed his hand. "Because no-one else ever has."

"Do I get to indulge you too?"

A little smile. "If you like."

* * *

_Indulging is about the right word.. _Not that she minded. Sitting back on the bench she watched him try and swing higher, wincing inwardly as the chains of the swing creaked ominously.

"Don't overdo it. Those things are made for children."

"You don't think I could swing as high as a kid?"

"No, I'm pretty sure you could, but what I mean is they're rated for a child's weight. You could break it."

"Oh." Looking up at where the swing chains were bolted to the frame he screwed up scarred nose. "I didn't think of that." Bringing the swing to a stop he hopped off, holding out his hand to her. "Want to go play on something I can't break?"

She smiled. "_Is_ there anything you can't break?"

He chuckled. "I don't know. But we can find out."

He didn't break the see-saw, though he gave it a pretty thorough workout. The weight distribution was a little unequal, with the result that she bounced at least a foot into the air every time he hit the ground, but it _was_ fun - she couldn't remember the last time she'd played on a see-saw.

"What next?" she asked, leaning into him to recover her breath (most of it lost by laughing). He laughed himself, dropping a kiss to the crown of her hair.

"You want to see how fast I can make the roundabout go?"

As she'd expected, it was _very_ fast. Holding on for dear life she squeezed her eyes closed to block out the dizzying swirls of colour, only able to hear the rush of wind and his whoops of delight. In a way, it was more fun than the see-saw, but also _less_ fun. When the ride finally came to an end she almost fell off but he was there to catch her, though he couldn't have been any steadier on his feet. "You okay?"

"I think so.."

"Sorry." He led her over to a patch of grass and sat down, letting her lean against him. "Didn't mean to go so fast."

She smiled a little. "If you had fun, then it's okay."

Mwu ruffled her hair gently. "Not when _you_ don't enjoy it. It's nice to be indulged, but no fun if you're the only one."

"But I said.."

He chuckled. "Have to make everything tough, don't you?"

"No.."

"Yes, you do. You always have. But I love you anyway. Now, have you got your breath back?"

She nodded.

"Good. Let's go get hot dogs." Getting to his feet he held out his hand, scarred face bright with a huge smile, and to her own surprise she felt tears welling up. She did her best to blink them back but they quickly overflowed, trickling down her cheeks even as she tried to brush them away. Mwu's happy smile faded to be replaced with dismayed concern, he sitting back down beside her and holding her close. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing.."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I don't know.." Closing her eyes she let him hold her, breathing in his scent, which had so often calmed and comforted her, but this only brought more tears.

_It's because he's here. In those last two years all I wanted was him. To wake up beside him, to see his smile, and to know that nothing could ever take him away from me again. That's why I'm crying.....because I finally have everything I wanted. _Laughing through her tears she hugged him tight. This time, she'd let herself cry.

"Do you hurt anywhere?"

"No. Not anymore."

* * *

"You two spend longer out there together every day. Exploring still?"

He nodded with a smile, swinging his legs as he sat on the wall. "There's a lot to see."

"That there is. You should check out the northern islands and the volcano - the scenery's amazing, and so is the skiing."

La Fllaga raised an eyebrow. "Skiing?"

"Sure. The mountain range round the volcano's pretty high up, and gets quite a lot of snow. There's some really good resorts up there. Maybe you could take Murrue."

"On a honeymoon, you mean?"

"Why not? You didn't get to have one, did you?"

"No," he admitted. "It's not really something we had time to think about. But it would be nice. I never tried skiing before. You think Murrue would like it?"

"I think it'll do her good. Some time to relax before she throws herself back into work again. Did you find anywhere to live yet?"

He nodded. "There's a place up for sale not far from here - a family's moving out to one of the smaller islands, and they let me have a look round. It's perfect. Three bedrooms, nice big garden...I wanted to find one that was just right for her."

Erica smiled and patted his arm. "There should be more guys like you."

He looked away, rubbing at the scar over his nose. "Sorry.."

"That was a compliment."

"You don't normally compliment me."

She laughed. "No, I don't, do I? But you are a good guy."

"Thank you."

* * *

She paused in the midst of drying her hair, peeking up from under the blue towel. "See? I told you she liked you."

"I think she likes me because I like _you_." Seeing her walk into the bedroom he held out a hand for her to sit beside him on the bed. "Though she did say I was a good guy."

"And you are."

"Now if _you_ say it, I believe it. Wonder why."

Murrue just smiled. "Because it's true." Accepting his help she climbed up onto the over-frilly bed beside him, murmuring happily when he brought her close. "You just need to believe it."

"I think I'm starting to."

"Good."

He smiled himself, flopping back onto the bed and letting her rest her head on his chest. "I found a house you might like. Like this one, only not so near the ocean, and a really big garden. We could go see it tomorrow if you want."

She nodded. "I told Lacus-san we'd come over to visit tomorrow - it sounds like their house and the chapel have been rebuilt. Things are coming together."

"They are." They could have everything they'd planned for and more besides - a real wedding, a place of their own, a honeymoon (which he'd decided to surprise her with) and whatever else came afterwards. _Not sure if I'll be any good as a dad, but I'll give it my best shot._

It was finally over. No more fighting, no more running....there was a future waiting for them.

* * *

( Not as good as I wanted it to be, but never mind.

please read and review! )


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